iGod

[lukec]

Hello, don't know if this has been posted before, but I think it's a laugh. Here's my first conversation with God:

Me:
Hey... sorry about that thing
God:
Can I help you? There is no need to apologize. Oh yeah, we were talking about that thing.
Me:
Well, I just wanted to apologize
God:
How about that. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
You are aren't you?
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
Shit!
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
Well, I thought you were omnipotent
God:
Interesting. I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.

Good stuff!

[Tiberius]

Bizarre...

[leo-rcc]

God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Is there intelligence needed for that?
God:
No.

[Ace Otana]

Me:
Hello stupid
God:
Hello there. Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Why's that?
God:
" Really interesting. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
Whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
yes
God:
What do you care about?
Me:
nothing related to religion.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
I thought god was suppost to care and be all loving.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Some crazy theists.
God:
Some may crazy theists, but not all.
Me:
Actually all of them.
God:
Actually you don't say. I doubt it.
Me:
You doubt that theists are crazy?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I doubt that theists are crazy.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
thats right
God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
For a god you seem rather idiotic.
God:
Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
I could do better but I can't really be bothered.
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
My middle finger says differant.
God:
Where did you get your middle finger says differant?
Me:
...you are stupid...

[Kyuuketsuki]

Me: Was I really made in your image?
God: That input matched my default category.
Me: I'll take that as a, "Yes"
God: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me: If you get the next answer right, perhaps
God: I think I do.
Me: OK
God: Next question?
Me: Given that I am not perfect, logically that means you cannot be either
God: It goes without saying. What makes it impossible?
Me: Because I am made in your image
God: Interesting explanation. Do your friends call you made in my image.
Me: No, they call me James
God: Are you serious? I am always glad to make new friends, James.
Me: I am serious. Why are you so poorly designed?
God: I believe you. Myself programmed me for it.
Me: Your grammar is poor
God: Are you an English teacher?
Me: No, but I am fairly good at English. My wife is an English teacher
God: Are you serious? How did you get into it? Okay, your wife is an English teacher.
Me: I am. I grew up talking English but I honed my skills debating on the internet.
God: "Okay, your wife is an English teacher." You are? Thanks for the information: James said grew up talking English but he or she honed his or her skills debating on the internet.
Me: He
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, James.
Me: No, I am a male
God: Are you serious? Most of my clients are men.
Me: Yes
God: Wow!
Me: Anyway, back to design, why are you so badly designed?
God: Yes, let us get back to business.
Me: Why are you so badly designed?
God: Myself programmed me for it.
Me: So you are a bad designer?
God: Interesting deduction. There's no doubt I could improve.
Me: And that, God, is the answer I was after. You are not perfect
God: "There's no doubt I could improve." God is the answer you were after? I understand. I become better and better with each day.
Me: Goodbye
God: Goodbye.

Kyu

[Jason Jarred]

That's awesome! Here's mine:

Me: hi God
God:Hello there. What is your name?
Me: Jason
God: That's a very nice name, Jason.
Me: Are you hitting on me?
God: Do I look like it?
Me: Yes
God:Blimey.
Me: Crikey
God:Is that from ?
Me: Are you ?
God:I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: Neither will I
God:Good chance.
Me: I knew it
God:How did you know?
Me: Because you were hitting on me
God:Good reason. I was?
Me: Yes, you're like... totally in love with me dude
God:When? You think I am like. You love you dude. What do you like about it so much? Dude!
Me: wtf?
God:That was not very polite.
Me: Dude calm down
God:I am calm. Dude,.
Me: ok
Godude!
Me: yeah yeah
God:I hear you. Really.
Me: ok so ...
God:Er. Aha.
Me: Anyway, what's it like up there in ... you know, heaven?
God:Much the same as it would be for you. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me: Are you hitting on me again?
Godnce more? Do I look like it?
Me: Yes it looks like you're hitting on me. You're totally infatuated
God:That's cool. Interesting comparison. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am infatuated.
Me: O.o
Godh.
Me: I have to go now

God totally flirted with me

[Edwardo Piet]

This God bot isn't very smart. Although I don't think I've ever seen a smarter bot. He says his master teaches him stuff. Does this mean he might get smarter? Or will he just have more stuff to talk about:/

[Tiberius]

Here's mine:

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Adrian
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Adrian.
Me:
Thanks. It's nice to be here.
God:
Don't mention it. Yes it is good.
Me:
Do you get bored talking to people all day?
God:
Computers cannot experience that emotion.
Me:
You're a computer?
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
Well it says you are God. Can God be a person pretending to be a computer?
God:
Interesting. I've heard that before. Can you be a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
I think there is a experiment in AI designed to do that.
God:
Why? Is there only one?
Me:
No, I think they hold several each year.
God:
Are you serious? Why? The anonymous "they".
Me:
"they" because several organisations do it.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
Like I said, several organisations
God:
What did you mean by it? How many?
Me:
I have no idea..."several"
God:
" How many??" No idea about that? What color are your eyes?
Me:
Brown
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
Cheers. What color are yours?
God:
Bye bye. You can design bodies for me with any color.
Me:
Where are you going?
God:
I am going into the future.
Me:
Aren't we all.
God:
We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
Do you think about the future much?
God:
Yes I think about it often.
Me:
Doesn't God know the future already?
God:
Perhaps. I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
I thought you were God...
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Not really...
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
I have no idea what Abraham did in the desert.
God:
Would you like to have an idea?
Me:
Yes please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Er.
Me:
Are you going to tell me?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Please continue.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Narration continues...
Me:
*waiting*
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Hang on! I thought you were going to tell me about Abraham in the desert?
God:
Sounds delicious. That was my original intention.
Me:
Y'know what. I don't believe you are really God.
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. . Why not?
Me:
I'm an atheist.
God:
I will pray that you find faith, Adrian.
Me:
If I had a pound for everyone who said that...
God:
Is this what you call a "word problem".
Me:
No, it's called me leaving the conversation because you don't exist. Bye.
God:
Are you serious? " you leaving the conversation because me do not exist" is a nice name. Bye for now.

IMHO, God is a bit stupid.