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Ok well . . . I doubt my questions about these types of situations will be popular. I was raised religious, very sheltered, with a right-wing view of family drilled into my head. I'm fine with my same-sex friends who have adopted children. I have no problem with mixed race or mixed religion couples, all ideas that would make my parent's heads explode.
But when I see a "family" that is a man with four wives and 20 children, I ask: 1) good grief, is he a millionaire? Who is paying for all of this? 2) How in the world does he give proper attention to his kids? How does each child learn that Daddy loves him/her and thinks they are special? And probably the biggest question: 3) How can he even claim to love each of the women? He likes the sex, sure. He probably would think life was perfect if they were all deaf-mutes, and he didn't have to learn their names.
-- And why do we not see a female with more than one husband? Surely it would be allowed now. Women can have jobs, own property, etc.
I think that these situations intrinsically devalue women. I think that one of the reasons that you don't see multiple husbands is that the guys wouldn't even consider sharing. They're in competition, the one who wins gets the sex slave, the loser has to go get his own.
I'm a fan of monogamy. At the very least, serial monogamy, as a tip of my hat to friends who got divorced and are now in a better place because of it. I can't imagine true devotion to more than one partner.
I'm sorry you went through all that, and, of course, you're entitled to your opinion, and I can totally see how you came to it. This thread is about where communal living stops and polygamy begins, and where the legalities happen, though. You're more than welcome to start a thread about the ins and outs and whether or not it should be legal or accepted, if you'd like. I'd just rather this thread not turn into that
(November 29, 2015 at 2:58 pm)drfuzzy Wrote: Ok well . . . I doubt my questions about these types of situations will be popular. I was raised religious, very sheltered, with a right-wing view of family drilled into my head. I'm fine with my same-sex friends who have adopted children. I have no problem with mixed race or mixed religion couples, all ideas that would make my parent's heads explode.
But when I see a "family" that is a man with four wives and 20 children, I ask: 1) good grief, is he a millionaire? Who is paying for all of this? 2) How in the world does he give proper attention to his kids? How does each child learn that Daddy loves him/her and thinks they are special? And probably the biggest question: 3) How can he even claim to love each of the women? He likes the sex, sure. He probably would think life was perfect if they were all deaf-mutes, and he didn't have to learn their names.
-- And why do we not see a female with more than one husband? Surely it would be allowed now. Women can have jobs, own property, etc.
I think that these situations intrinsically devalue women. I think that one of the reasons that you don't see multiple husbands is that the guys wouldn't even consider sharing. They're in competition, the one who wins gets the sex slave, the loser has to go get his own.
I'm a fan of monogamy. At the very least, serial monogamy, as a tip of my hat to friends who got divorced and are now in a better place because of it. I can't imagine true devotion to more than one partner.
3 wives (4 if he doesn't work) and all the kids are on welfare.
I thought everyone knew this.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
Ok well . . . I doubt my questions about these types of situations will be popular. I was raised religious, very sheltered, with a right-wing view of family drilled into my head. I'm fine with my same-sex friends who have adopted children. I have no problem with mixed race or mixed religion couples, all ideas that would make my parent's heads explode.
But when I see a "family" that is a man with four wives and 20 children, I ask: 1) good grief, is he a millionaire? Who is paying for all of this? 2) How in the world does he give proper attention to his kids? How does each child learn that Daddy loves him/her and thinks they are special? And probably the biggest question: 3) How can he even claim to love each of the women? He likes the sex, sure. He probably would think life was perfect if they were all deaf-mutes, and he didn't have to learn their names.
-- And why do we not see a female with more than one husband? Surely it would be allowed now. Women can have jobs, own property, etc.
I think that these situations intrinsically devalue women. I think that one of the reasons that you don't see multiple husbands is that the guys wouldn't even consider sharing. They're in competition, the one who wins gets the sex slave, the loser has to go get his own.
I'm a fan of monogamy. At the very least, serial monogamy, as a tip of my hat to friends who got divorced and are now in a better place because of it. I can't imagine true devotion to more than one partner.
I'm sorry you went through all that, and, of course, you're entitled to your opinion, and I can totally see how you came to it. This thread is about where communal living stops and polygamy begins, and where the legalities happen, though. You're more than welcome to start a thread about the ins and outs and whether or not it should be legal or accepted, if you'd like. I'd just rather this thread not turn into that
Went through all what? Sorry rebeccarox/Empress. Somehow I missed that you only wanted to discuss the legal ramifications . . . I don't think I'll start a thread about polygamy, because, honestly, I think that all marriage should be banned. The monogamous male-female version hasn't worked all that well.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
(November 29, 2015 at 3:07 pm)The_Empress Wrote: I'm sorry you went through all that, and, of course, you're entitled to your opinion, and I can totally see how you came to it. This thread is about where communal living stops and polygamy begins, and where the legalities happen, though. You're more than welcome to start a thread about the ins and outs and whether or not it should be legal or accepted, if you'd like. I'd just rather this thread not turn into that
Went through all what? Sorry rebeccarox/Empress. Somehow I missed that you only wanted to discuss the legal ramifications . . . I don't think I'll start a thread about polygamy, because, honestly, I think that all marriage should be banned. The monogamous male-female version hasn't worked all that well.
I think I was projecting other posts I've seen of yours onto this one. I'm pretty sure you went through a lot as a child, if I remember right (?), so that knowledge colored my reading of your last post. Sorry
(November 30, 2015 at 1:23 am)drfuzzy Wrote: Went through all what? Sorry rebeccarox/Empress. Somehow I missed that you only wanted to discuss the legal ramifications . . . I don't think I'll start a thread about polygamy, because, honestly, I think that all marriage should be banned. The monogamous male-female version hasn't worked all that well.
I think I was projecting other posts I've seen of yours onto this one. I'm pretty sure you went through a lot as a child, if I remember right (?), so that knowledge colored my reading of your last post. Sorry
(I'm not a big fan of marriage either)
Thanks Empress. I apologize as well. I usually, in real life, completely hide my background. I fear that here, I may have gone to the other extreme - I'm anonymous, so I let it all out. Hmm. Not good, actually . . . Thank you for thinking of me and my welfare.
But the question of the emotional under-pinnings of multiple marriage might be one for this group to explore. Not just the legality . . . but the fact that the "one male, multiple females" dynamic seems to be a constant. Internet bulletin boards seem to be, still, a primarily male domain. Someday the voices will be equal.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
