Another raaaaaaaaaape!!!

[Lemonvariable72]

Okay so if I'm reading that article right, she was invited into his room so she could have a shower. But she didn't invite him in? And where did this she kissed him bus come from then? Reading the article I'm left with the impression he like busted into the bathroom while she was getting changed. I'm confused.

[KevinM1]

Where are people getting more info than what was posted in the OP?

[Catholic_Lady]

Acting like an idiot when drunk is a far cry from becoming a rapist.

Not at all when the lines are blurred by a woman in the same shower as you snogging your face off while you're smashed as shit.

According to the woman's account, and if she's telling the truth, that is not what happened. She had kissed him on a separate occasion, not on that night. And they hadn't even gotten in the shower yet. As soon as she got in the bathroom he ripped her clothes off and raped and beat her.

But even if they were in the shower making out, if a person begins resisting and says "no" and "stop", the lines are no longer blurred. At that point it becomes rape and that is very clear. Again, a drunk person acting like an idiot is one thing. Raping someone is another.

[Catholic_Lady]

Acting like an idiot when drunk is a far cry from becoming a rapist.

No, but it can cause you to so stupid things like abuse people. The drunken abusive father is a well known archetype in stories.

I don't know if anyone is debating whether the rapist is to blame. I believe the denbate is more about whether the woman should take some responsibility for her own actions or not.

I just wouldn't categorize raping someone as "doing something stupid." Doing something stupid is drunk texting your ex or pissing on the side of a building. Not rape.  

Of course the woman should be more responsible in her actions and avoid dangerous situations. No one is debating that either. Like I said, my objection to your posts is the way you're making drunken rape out to be some sort of natural progression or stupid thing that "happens" and a person can't control themselves. If that is not what you mean, then I apologize, but that is just what it keeps coming off as on each one of your posts.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Not at all when the lines are blurred by a woman in the same shower as you snogging your face off while you're smashed as shit.

According to the woman's account, and if she's telling the truth, that is not what happened. She had kissed him on a separate occasion, not on that night. And they hadn't even gotten in the shower yet. As soon as she got in the bathroom he ripped her clothes off and raped and beat her.

But even if they were in the shower making out, if a person begins resisting and says "no" and "stop", the lines are no longer blurred. At that point it becomes rape and that is very clear. Again, a drunk person acting like an idiot is one thing. Raping someone is another.

If this is actually the way events unfolded, I'll rethink my position.

[Catholic_Lady]

I've been trying to make my point clear, but apparently it's not coming across. What do you think she could do so this doesn't happen agains with another guy?

Not be around a rapist? Nothing she did was an invitation for rape, by that line of thinking she can never be alone with a man in an intimate setting unless she is planning to go all the way.

That would be a start.

See? This is what I have a problem with. You're acting as though men are so out of control of their own sexual urges that women shouldn't be around them at all in an intimate setting unless they plan on having sex with them. 

I get that we need to be careful, but this is just a bit too far imho.

[Chad32]

No, that's pretty much what I mean. We seem to be mostly in agreement, but you seem to think that while drunk people may be willing to get behind the wheel, or beat their kids, that rape is somehow a line that alcohol is unable to cause some people to cross for reasons I'm not sure of.

[Catholic_Lady]

Not at all when the lines are blurred by a woman in the same shower as you snogging your face off while you're smashed as shit.

Bullshit.  We are civilized beings.  If you can't stop yourself from physically restraining a woman and forcing yourself on her while she screams and cries, there is something wrong you on a far deeper level then just: "oh, man....I was just so drunk!"

^Exactly this.

Honestly I don't even know why this conversation is even happening.

[Chad32]

That would be a start.

See? This is what I have a problem with. You're acting as though men are so out of control of their own sexual urges that women shouldn't be around them at all in an intimate setting unless they plan on having sex with them. 

I get that we need to be careful, but this is just a bit too far imho.

Well I am male, and I have hung around men for many a year, so I have some experience with the thought processes that young men sometimes have. We're horndogs. Always pack a tazer, and aim for the crotch.

[Silver]

If a guy invited me to have a shower with him, I would think that something sexual was involved. Most showers are not that huge, and the closeness of the nakedness is basically an invitation to have sex. I would feel my way around in the shower with him, but to be honest there is no likelihood I was invited in there just to have him say no to sex. However, on the one percent chance that he was completely bat-shit psycho and did say no, I would not press the issue.