Death and the nonbeliever

[Xyster]

A family member is currently on thier deathbed. I'm finding it is easyer to cope with knowing that it is the end and there is no sky daddy to pray to for recovery.. I'm finding being an Atheist, it takes all the confusion and the questions "why them/me lord" out of the equation. I'm still sad that she has to go, but I also know that is how it is, noone lives forever.

When I was still a believer I remember being confuzed and praying them to be spaired only to be disapointed when death still came. Then all the questions of "why" asked of god only to get no answer. Even my 11 year old is handeling it well and they were verry close. When I became an atheist a few years ago I was wondering how one would deal with death knowing its the end..... As it turns out for me anyhow...easyer

[TheDarkestOfAngels]

A family member is currently on thier deathbed. I'm finding it is easyer to cope with knowing that it is the end and there is no sky daddy to pray to for recovery.. I'm finding being an Atheist, it takes all the confusion and the questions "why them/me lord" out of the equation. I'm still sad that she has to go, but I also know that is how it is, noone lives forever.

When I was still a believer I remember being confuzed and praying them to be spaired only to be disapointed when death still came. Then all the questions of "why" asked of god only to get no answer. Even my 11 year old is handeling it well and they were verry close. When I became an atheist a few years ago I was wondering how one would deal with death knowing its the end..... As it turns out for me anyhow...easyer

I can agree to that. I think religion is terrible as a coping mechanism for death because it just gives you the mindset that you will ultimately live forever, someone out there wants your family member to die now, and really it allows you to avoid coming to peace with the idea that you're going to die until it wrecks your psyche far more than it should when it happens.

Plus, I like the idea that my 'eternal life' won't be relegated by eternal servatude (aka slavery) to the biggest douche in the universe.

So, good on you and good on your son. It's good to hear that you're getting through (or have gotten through) a tough time with a clear head and a clear concious.

[Spencer]

I agree. In addition to that is the notion of suicide and the theist idea that all of those who commit suicide go to hell because it is considered murder. I take comfort in knowing that my dad is not actually burning in hell or sitting in spirit prison waiting to be saved, but rather just gone and relieved of his inflictions.

[Thor]

When I was 8 my grandmother was dying from cancer and I was told to pray for her. I recall praying in the hospital's chapel for "God" to cure her. Shortly thereafter, she died. I was confused. Why didn't "God" listen to my prayers? Why did he let grandma die? It made no sense. It was rather upsetting. Why did I bother praying if "God" wasn't going to do anything?

I told this story to a believer and I got the usual bullshit about "sometimes God's answer is no", and "we can't know why God does things, but he has his reasons".

Barf.

I was also told that "God" was there comforting me during this time.

Uh... no, he wasn't. I felt no comfort from an unseen force. If this deity wanted to comfort me, he could have appeared to me and told me that my grandmother was now at peace and happily living in heaven.

But there was nothing at all. Gee, I wonder why....

[Rhizomorph13]

Thor,

It is because Satan blinded you from the truth. If only your heart would have been pure enough, you could have felt God's light welling up within you.

Rhizo

[Thor]

Thor,

It is because Satan blinded you from the truth. If only your heart would have been pure enough, you could have felt God's light welling up within you.

Rhizo

Yeah, I guess the heart of an 8 year old isn't "pure" enough. Even though I was a believer at the time (of course, at that time I still believed in Santa Claus).

[yuriythebest]

Yeah, I guess the heart of an 8 year old isn't "pure" enough.

yeah - you should discuss that with your catholic priest

[Skeptisma]

The chance that any of us are here at this very moment is so astronomically small that I feel quite lucky to have even gotten a shot. I am able to have the opportunity to understand how and why I am here, something most "potential people" will never have. I suppose that's why I particularly find children's deaths so unnerving. They didn't get the chance to understand.

[Thor]

Yeah, I guess the heart of an 8 year old isn't "pure" enough.

yeah - you should discuss that with your catholic priest

"Hey, Billy! Come in here. I need to discuss something with you."

"Uh, why are your pants off, Father?"

"Because God wants you to do something for me... You do obey God, don't you?"

[DeistPaladin]

I can agree to that. I think religion is terrible as a coping mechanism for death because it just gives you the mindset that you will ultimately live forever, someone out there wants your family member to die now, and really it allows you to avoid coming to peace with the idea that you're going to die until it wrecks your psyche far more than it should when it happens.

I'd suggest that it's a terrible coping mechanism because it, like many rationalizations, doesn't work.

We're all familiar with the stages of grief here? I think Christians and Muslims are still stuck at the "denial" and "bargaining" phases. We're at the "acceptance" stage.

I'd venture that on some subconscious level, most of them don't really believe or are aware of the problems with their religion. This is why I think they get angry when confronted with them. They're trying to avoid dealing with reality. This is not a good recipe for happiness.