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Current time: December 28, 2024, 12:56 pm

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Something new I'm writing.
#1
Something new I'm writing.
Kitan was a bust. He annoyed me too much.

Therefore, welcome this new female character (the chapter is not finished, this is just a taste):

"Yes," she said as she tried to pay attention to the road and also tried to pay attention to the voice of her roomate. "But no."

"You're not being reasonable," his voice whined through the bluetooth device in her ear.

"Am so," she said as she glared at the slow vehicle ahead of her.

She pressed the iPhone that sat in its charger and the display lit up so that she could see the time. It was twenty-five minutes after noon. She was already ten minutes late and the lunchtime rush hour was only making her later.

"You're in denial," he said. "You need the D, girl"

She rolled her eyes yet smiled at his persistence. "I have found that a grueling jog through the park is more satisfactory than a man.

"The only sweat I have to deal with is my own and I don't have to suffer the post sex awkwardness of everything that he is."

He sighed overdramatically and said, "I guess that I'll just go get some D for myself, then."

"Hey, I didn't say I wouldn't accompany you tonight. I'm just not going to be proactively seeking as you will be. Besides, I need to be there to buffer your horrible decision making skills."

"Hey--"

She interrupted him by stating, "Remember the red head whose tongue was literally licking the inside of your lungs?"

Finally, she saw an opportunity. There was an opening to a less busy side street. She was already late, so going out of the way to reach her destination was not a major concern for her at that point.

She quickly turned the steering wheel and moved away from the congested flow of traffic. A glance at the rearview mirror revealed the empty space being quickly occupied by another vehicle.

"I guess we'll go out, then."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she said as she turned a corner to make her way toward her destination.

"Oh, that must be needy Patrick at the door. He's ringing the bell with his usual OCD manner. See you later, girl."

The call ended just as she pulled up to her destination. Great timing in one respect, but not so much for the delivery.

It was a typical skyscraper, like all the others in the city. She stepped out of the vehicle, dragging the package along with her, and she closed the door behind her.

After closing the door with her hip, she stood there for a few seconds staring up at the place she had almost daily delivered lunch from her place of employment.

She took a deep breath and made her way to the front door. Once inside, she made her way toward the front desk where a rather unpleasant old woman stood guard.

"You're late," said the female guard who altogether reminded her too much of her mother.

"If I had any control over the traffic, I'd be revered."

She gave me a dirty look as I passed by her and I winked at her. Per usual, forbid change was anything real, she gave me a look dirtier than any infant's diaper.

I covertly flipped her a bird with my middle finger as I passed by, earning from her a scour worthy of praise, and I winked at her once more.

Ahead of me, the old woman having earned her due, was the front desk where I always dropped the lunch for those who had ordered it.

The front desk clerk was always kind and courteous, and annoying due to his over-compensation toward being kind and courteous.

"Hello," he said with a smile that was annoying. "How was the journey over here?"

"More annoying than you could ever imagine," I responded honestly.

The smile remained on his face, as though he was incapable of understanding reality, and he said, "Thank you for your service."

She honestly wanted to slap him silly.

She turned away from him, took a couple of steps toward the exit, and suddenly a piercing sound invaded her ears.

Then suddenly she was surrounded by idiots with guns shouting about how she could not leave.

Through concentration over the unneccesary noise, she learned nothing.

Men and their guns were not fond of explaining anything. It was why she was not fond of either nouns she had provided.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#2
RE: Something new I'm writing.
Too many adverbs and prepositional phrases for my taste. Of course, I'm guilty of the same.

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#3
RE: Something new I'm writing.
To be honest, I bet you would find the same problem with the NY Times's authors.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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