Teasing the self that carries you, you tend to self harm, it feels so tender when you do it to yourself, nothing big, just mere self inflicted emotional cuts, mainly you're only there to pour the salt over the wound, so it becomes a habit; a never ending loop: cut, pour, scream/laugh/cry/smile, masturbate, sleep.
What a habit ! you love to bang your head against the wall, break your the rest of your bones one by one in the process, taking one big nasty loan, one that you can never ever pay, you cut from your well-being, health, your own self, to feel the numbness that accompanies the occasion; pain that makes you forget the past season, that season of misery; where leafs always fall dry,without color; without passion.
Sad? Gloomy? you don't actually care. It's a part of who you are anyways, I mean it became a part of who you are, you prefer facial hair in case you had a cock, long hair in case you had a puss, only to hide the sad gestures and look. To appear "normal". Sometimes you manage to hide, sometimes the camouflage just slides, you fail; so you seek other stuff that hide what you feel.
Towards me! yes! here; please lean ! lean forward: I whisper to you: "It'll be over soon, nothing was real. you know what I mean".
Now I have two choices, to either complete this topic later, or simply post now even if it didn't make sense that much!
I walk to the posting button because I want to get over with it.
Why do I Pour this here?
IDK. I just feel that I should be; on my knees, on AF,offering weird posts in the art's section so I can sleep.
What a habit ! you love to bang your head against the wall, break your the rest of your bones one by one in the process, taking one big nasty loan, one that you can never ever pay, you cut from your well-being, health, your own self, to feel the numbness that accompanies the occasion; pain that makes you forget the past season, that season of misery; where leafs always fall dry,without color; without passion.
Sad? Gloomy? you don't actually care. It's a part of who you are anyways, I mean it became a part of who you are, you prefer facial hair in case you had a cock, long hair in case you had a puss, only to hide the sad gestures and look. To appear "normal". Sometimes you manage to hide, sometimes the camouflage just slides, you fail; so you seek other stuff that hide what you feel.
Towards me! yes! here; please lean ! lean forward: I whisper to you: "It'll be over soon, nothing was real. you know what I mean".
Now I have two choices, to either complete this topic later, or simply post now even if it didn't make sense that much!
I walk to the posting button because I want to get over with it.
Why do I Pour this here?
IDK. I just feel that I should be; on my knees, on AF,offering weird posts in the art's section so I can sleep.
