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Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 4:16 pm
I have a formal title (that I've given myself). I've finally decided to create this online persona so that I can roundly criticize various aspects of christian culture through videos and blogs. I don't want this page to serve as an advertisement, so I won't be posting links in either the posts or comments, not will I directly invite a search. Basically, I want to see what some members of the atheist community would perhaps like to see me cover! My main focus is Hymns of course. Currently, I'm creating a couple of side projects that are book and meme related. I'd like to end up with many series of items about the little intricacies of Christian culture, like the customs and whatnot.
So basically, what would y'all like to see critiqued or analyzed?
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 4:21 pm
Hit Me Jesus One More Time?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 4:22 pm
So Britney Spears gets into the CCM business, eh?
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 4:23 pm
(This post was last modified: June 29, 2016 at 4:26 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
The Simpsons Theory of Devotional Music is that any pop song can be turned into christian music by replacing the word "baby" with "jesus". Try it, you're gonna like it. It's PMJ for christards!
(I've actually done that one at an open mic, btw, bluegrass style - rocked the house)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 4:30 pm
Satire is awesome, and you're right about the simpson's theory of course. By the way, check that poll out and check the songs on it if oyew don't know them. Holy shit the cringe y'all.
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 5:02 pm
You don't even have to look them up, these fall apart at the title.
'Bringing In The Sheaves' Papers? You're singing about papers?
'Trust and Obey' Uhh... hooray for slavery?
'Use Me Jesus' Just remember that BDSM means safe, sane, and consensual.
'The Kiss of Heaven' How does heaven kiss you? Or is this describing what happened to Jake in Blue Brothers?
I'm nitpicking as all hell, but that's part of the fun of being a critic.
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 5:40 pm
(June 29, 2016 at 5:02 pm)Ayen Wrote: You don't even have to look them up, these fall apart at the title.
'Bringing In The Sheaves'
Batches of Wheat used as a metaphor for converting batches of people to christianity
'Trust and Obey'
There is literally NO other way to be happy in Jesus lol
'Use Me Jesus'
look up the faith tones on google image search...hooooly shit
'The Kiss of Heaven'
Metaphorical fellatio for god and a new path in life....duh
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 5:41 pm
Fuk ur metaphors!
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 5:49 pm
The Kendalls:
Heaven's Just a Sin Away
https://youtu.be/QlNdUp-UsBE
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
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RE: Ask A Hymnalysist - Needing Community Perspective
June 29, 2016 at 5:56 pm
"Use Me Jesus" but no glove, no love.
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![[Image: Ip4ZfOm.png]](https://i.imgur.com/Ip4ZfOm.png)
