Judgement Day
July 11, 2016 at 12:21 am
(This post was last modified: July 11, 2016 at 12:49 am by Complidudaaldo.)
This is a funny joke. because it is a thinker. It is not about Theism. It is about pragmatism. LOL
A man died recently and he found himself in a limbo between the places of judgement,
Before him,
The God of the hellfire, heaven and earth plains.
The man said to himself, alright, Plan A, and proceeded with his testimony:
"God. - Oh marvelous and awesome one. Great and all knowing. fare and just. "GOOD" beyond measure, and a spectal to behold. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"I did not realize you were real. SO you must forgive me - "
He gulped, as the words he was about to speak were elaborate upon his tongue, and he found that he was compelled to speak more then just rehearsed testimonies of his naïve innocence.
"I endorsed and supported Wo-o-menizers, passively, actively and subliminally through m-y lifestyle, ideals and perspectives. Passively and actively and subliminally enabling womanizers, and encouraging women and children to as well. KN-N-Nowing, that atheism reinforced the perspectives And lifestyles of corrupt politician TYPE behavioural PEOPLE.. Cartels, laziness, indulgence, negligence, SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS, arrogance, bigotry and blasphemy - BECAUSE I IDOLIZED WO-O-MENIZERS, WAS JEALOUS OF WO_MENIZERS AND WANTED *weeze* To Be One. - "
he could hardly speak. he could hardly stand. He couldn't even perceive God anymore, But he knew: that this God of Hellfire was angry, and was intimidating(he could feel the heat of hell), and He compelled and only accepted the full truth and nothing but the truth. So the man fearing he would be punished for lying, proceeded, as his testimony could not end, He knew what God knew (he was drifting towards the flames, and he was guilty), and so he followed up with his rehearsed lesson for God.
"But I never saw You, # SO I was innocent You see. Because If you were not real, Then I could be a womanizer without suffering he consequences. And That atheist world of sodomy and neglect and insolent behaviour manifested from lack of SELF_TESTIMONY* )_) - which would have no god.. and thus make my excuse (that I can't see you, and so I am innocent for promoting womanizer's lifestyles and attitudes) redundantly arrogant..
BUT.. since you are the God of hellfire, Spiders behind rocks, scorpions in the shadows, snakes everywhere to be seen, and sharks in the waters and the reality in which we walked - YOU Have provided all the resources to teach me to be cautious and considerate and aware of YOUR OBVIOUS MALEVOLENT NATURE In The Event Of Your Existence and Our Coming Into This congregation ~ Yet I Come Before You Today Hoping ... to BLAME YOU GOD FOR NOT SHOWING ME YOUR FACE AND MAKIING ME YOUR PROPHET!"
! O_O *GAPING AWE*
Gods presence was Glory. And the Man's impeding Doom was not stifled by his admiration for it.
God Had accused him of blaming the King of Hellfire for the man's unethical behaviour and the man knew it was true.
So God, Looked down his neck, and encouraged him to proceed, for as Thus, the man was being drawn into the flames of Hell, in which his spirit would never find the means to search for "God" whom he could not identify, but must search for without an index in order to attain peace.
He did not know what Glory "WAS."
So the man shot in the Dark.
"WHO ARE YOU." but God, who was before him, was offended. SO he hid himself. and the man now knew he had No means of searching in the eternal expanse of hell for him. But each thought of vindicating sin, drew him farther away from identifying true glory, and even the least of evils completely evaded the truth, and even the least of glorious things evaded his senses in hopes of vindicating the fallen whom were hopelessly lost cursing God glory by suggesting the lesser of foul things were assuredly in God favor.
But the man had hope, because God attended his judgment yet and had not grown tired of this fool.
So the man said,
"I have corrupted children's imaginations, ambitions and morals by promoting misogyny. And I prompted women underhandly to sponsor drug addicts, sloths and inconsiderate men. I had wasted my families support for me, and squandered my wealth sponsoring evolution - despite the fact it reinforced all selfishness and insolence to children and perverts, even though there was no facts to support it which were outside skeptisist's arguments against you - as well as the cartels of booze, cigarettes and marijuana - So that they purchased prostitutes of the women who grew sick of the jealous, inconsiderate disappointed men they were limited to elsewhere." - and he started to cry - "I was proud to attack your church, and promote conspiracies. Even though the illumianti were the atheist's made up name for the cartels of the modern era, which we wrongfully applied to the religions because the cartels wanted us to be whores and whoremongers to build a wall between them and the world they syphoned off of. ... and the catholic church was funding the utilities, municipal and national and international security, our food supply, our public domain, our education and health services... and their people were faithful and peaceful, only not allowing us to advocate misogyny to children, criminals, drug addicts, sloths and the handicapped.."
So God appeared tot he Man, because the man could now see in his honest testimony, that the world could not do with the least of all sins, for he stopped idolizing the lifestyles of womanizers, and being jealous of the whoremongers, and the slothenly boyfriends, and bigoted whores.
So the man cheered up a little, and said:
"Wow, you really do hate homosexuals for advocating anal, oral and masturbation subliminally, passively and actively to children womanizers, depressed people, sex victims, elderly and bigots as well as all other impressionable people, in schools, media, the public and the work place don't you god."
He chuckled, and said, "That is why I made up this joke for you: What did the elephant say, When he lost his package?"
A man died recently and he found himself in a limbo between the places of judgement,
Before him,
The God of the hellfire, heaven and earth plains.
The man said to himself, alright, Plan A, and proceeded with his testimony:
"God. - Oh marvelous and awesome one. Great and all knowing. fare and just. "GOOD" beyond measure, and a spectal to behold. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"I did not realize you were real. SO you must forgive me - "
He gulped, as the words he was about to speak were elaborate upon his tongue, and he found that he was compelled to speak more then just rehearsed testimonies of his naïve innocence.
"I endorsed and supported Wo-o-menizers, passively, actively and subliminally through m-y lifestyle, ideals and perspectives. Passively and actively and subliminally enabling womanizers, and encouraging women and children to as well. KN-N-Nowing, that atheism reinforced the perspectives And lifestyles of corrupt politician TYPE behavioural PEOPLE.. Cartels, laziness, indulgence, negligence, SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS, arrogance, bigotry and blasphemy - BECAUSE I IDOLIZED WO-O-MENIZERS, WAS JEALOUS OF WO_MENIZERS AND WANTED *weeze* To Be One. - "
he could hardly speak. he could hardly stand. He couldn't even perceive God anymore, But he knew: that this God of Hellfire was angry, and was intimidating(he could feel the heat of hell), and He compelled and only accepted the full truth and nothing but the truth. So the man fearing he would be punished for lying, proceeded, as his testimony could not end, He knew what God knew (he was drifting towards the flames, and he was guilty), and so he followed up with his rehearsed lesson for God.
"But I never saw You, # SO I was innocent You see. Because If you were not real, Then I could be a womanizer without suffering he consequences. And That atheist world of sodomy and neglect and insolent behaviour manifested from lack of SELF_TESTIMONY* )_) - which would have no god.. and thus make my excuse (that I can't see you, and so I am innocent for promoting womanizer's lifestyles and attitudes) redundantly arrogant..
BUT.. since you are the God of hellfire, Spiders behind rocks, scorpions in the shadows, snakes everywhere to be seen, and sharks in the waters and the reality in which we walked - YOU Have provided all the resources to teach me to be cautious and considerate and aware of YOUR OBVIOUS MALEVOLENT NATURE In The Event Of Your Existence and Our Coming Into This congregation ~ Yet I Come Before You Today Hoping ... to BLAME YOU GOD FOR NOT SHOWING ME YOUR FACE AND MAKIING ME YOUR PROPHET!"
! O_O *GAPING AWE*Gods presence was Glory. And the Man's impeding Doom was not stifled by his admiration for it.
God Had accused him of blaming the King of Hellfire for the man's unethical behaviour and the man knew it was true.
So God, Looked down his neck, and encouraged him to proceed, for as Thus, the man was being drawn into the flames of Hell, in which his spirit would never find the means to search for "God" whom he could not identify, but must search for without an index in order to attain peace.
He did not know what Glory "WAS."
So the man shot in the Dark.
"WHO ARE YOU." but God, who was before him, was offended. SO he hid himself. and the man now knew he had No means of searching in the eternal expanse of hell for him. But each thought of vindicating sin, drew him farther away from identifying true glory, and even the least of evils completely evaded the truth, and even the least of glorious things evaded his senses in hopes of vindicating the fallen whom were hopelessly lost cursing God glory by suggesting the lesser of foul things were assuredly in God favor.
But the man had hope, because God attended his judgment yet and had not grown tired of this fool.
So the man said,
"I have corrupted children's imaginations, ambitions and morals by promoting misogyny. And I prompted women underhandly to sponsor drug addicts, sloths and inconsiderate men. I had wasted my families support for me, and squandered my wealth sponsoring evolution - despite the fact it reinforced all selfishness and insolence to children and perverts, even though there was no facts to support it which were outside skeptisist's arguments against you - as well as the cartels of booze, cigarettes and marijuana - So that they purchased prostitutes of the women who grew sick of the jealous, inconsiderate disappointed men they were limited to elsewhere." - and he started to cry - "I was proud to attack your church, and promote conspiracies. Even though the illumianti were the atheist's made up name for the cartels of the modern era, which we wrongfully applied to the religions because the cartels wanted us to be whores and whoremongers to build a wall between them and the world they syphoned off of. ... and the catholic church was funding the utilities, municipal and national and international security, our food supply, our public domain, our education and health services... and their people were faithful and peaceful, only not allowing us to advocate misogyny to children, criminals, drug addicts, sloths and the handicapped.."
So God appeared tot he Man, because the man could now see in his honest testimony, that the world could not do with the least of all sins, for he stopped idolizing the lifestyles of womanizers, and being jealous of the whoremongers, and the slothenly boyfriends, and bigoted whores.
So the man cheered up a little, and said:
"Wow, you really do hate homosexuals for advocating anal, oral and masturbation subliminally, passively and actively to children womanizers, depressed people, sex victims, elderly and bigots as well as all other impressionable people, in schools, media, the public and the work place don't you god."
He chuckled, and said, "That is why I made up this joke for you: What did the elephant say, When he lost his package?"
