I need a therapist

[Angrboda]

No advice here, just wishing you the best. The quagmire of indecision can be the most debilitating thing.

[KUSA]

You should become a minister. As an Atheist you will read the bible more than you used to. Why not make money with all that knowledge? The saps will just hand it over to you.

[ScienceAf]

I didn't think it away for a while.
For a very long time.

If you could think it away your "depression" was caused by negative thoughts and probably hormones. You wouldn't be able to think it away if the depression was caused by chemical imbalances. 

But let's end it here.

You don't know my depression.
Now lets end it.

[Rev. Rye]

Putting my 2 cents in, I've got a therapist and she's done wonders for me. Then again, I doubt you're in Cook county, so I don't think I can recommend her to you.

Also, here's my personal experience with antidepressants:

My first psychiatrist gave me Viibryd (with an Abilify to enhance). It did literally nothing but make me take more time (and expend more sweat) while masturbating. Eventually, after a tough period, he demanded I up the dosage from the smallest to the second smallest.

Here's Leonardo DiCaprio doing a dramatic re-enactment of what happened once the increased dosage kicked in (while coming out of the bath)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdKgdAjlO-s

I exaggerate the effects only slightly. I stopped it, and he skipped town.

Years later, I got back on anti-depressants, Luvox this time, and they work. The increased masturbation time is still a problem, but it comes and goes.

I'm sure there's an app or a site that directs you to therapists in your area, but I don't have much experience with them (largely since my therapist is an old coworker of Dad's, and my current psychiatrist worked with my mother on her migraines.)

[KevinM1]

Oy, not all diabetes is caused by being a lazy fat ass. My family (including myself), for instance, has what Joslin Clinic sometimes calls Type 1 and a half. It's essentially late onset Type 1. With my family, it hits the males in our 30s regardless of diet or physical activity, so there's definitely a genetic component to it.

Indeed, I've been rather militant about my diet (can't do much about exercise since I'm in a wheelchair), but my glucose levels continued to rise. Clean labs (no infection or illness) and nothing else out of the ordinary. It was just my body gaining a tolerance to the medication I was on. A slight increase in dosage with one of my meds, and now my glucose levels are the best they've been since I was diagnosed.

I know that's tangential to the main topic, but it pisses me off when everyone talks about diabetics being lazy fat asses. Yeah, Type 2 is rampant, but not all of us have that variety and actually need to take our meds in order to, you know, live.

And, really, since the human body is really just a biological machine fueled by various chemicals, medication to fix chemical imbalances shouldn't be seen as some sort of weakness. It's legitimate treatment for illness, regardless of whether it's targeting your brain, your pancreas, cancer cells, or anything else.

Regarding the main topic, @Won2blv, if no one you know uses/can refer a therapist, or you're too embarrassed/afraid/whatever to ask a friend, call up your primary physician and ask them if they can refer you to anyone. But, I'll echo some of what ScienceAf said:

Living in a marriage where one cannot accept the other for who they are isn't something that can last. And living a lie to make the other person happy is self-defeating. They're happy with an illusion, not you, and you're secretly miserable, which is just another form of self-harm. There's nothing real in that kind of setup.

As far as not being able to find someone else if you do divorce, that's bullshit. It's just fear talking and utterly unrealistic (although I have no doubt it's a real feeling). It's part of the pernicious nature of religion. They make you fear that you'll be forever incomplete if you don't comply. They're wrong. You might not believe it, but they are.

[bennyboy]

I appreciate all the positive thoughts. I honestly don't think it can work with my wife. She told me that she can't respect someone that doesn't believe in god. And we don't have kids. It would be too much pain to try and stay together and live a secular life.

Marriage is just a piece of paper.  If you don't have kids, you should still consider yourself a free person.

It sounds to me like you already know what's right for you.  The next step is going to be you trying to push yourself out of the nest.

[Excited Penguin]

benny's right. It's just a relationship like any other. Don't feel sorry for breaking up with her, after a whole year of separation.

[Won2blv]

I misspoke, we haven't been separated for a whole year. That incident was just a year ago. I know that I don't want to be married anymore and I assume that it is inevitable that the marriage will end. I Just have no idea what kind of therapy is best for someone in my situation. I feel bad too because I know she'll feel broadsided (even though we have talked about it very openly) She is going to guilt trip me and use a lot of what if you're wrong questions. I want the best for her, I don't think I'm that though.

And Kevin, sorry if I misspoke on the diabetes thing. I was just saying that some forms a diabetes are less severe and can be treated with less drastic measures., not that its a reap what you sow sickness. I found out that I have a hypothyroid recently, but my doctor told me that its not severe enough for medication and that I should try other means to even it out first. Maybe a better example?

[Seraphina]

No advice here, just wishing you the best.  The quagmire of indecision can be the most debilitating thing.

+1

Sorry to hear you're in such turmoil at the moment, Won2blv. When you're at one of life's many crossroads, it's very difficult to know which way is the best way to go and it's quite easy to become stuck. 
I know, I've been at a few crossroads myself including similar issues to what you're in now. 
In the end, things eventually turned out ok for me and I hope it's the same for you.

If you feel you need a therapist, a few sessions with a counselor might help. Another member in this thread mentioned going with recommendations from people you know and respect and that's good advice. Ask around, check the web and book yourself an appointment.

I've personally turned to cognitive-behavioral methods when I find myself stuck with making decisions. You might find a counselor who works with this method helpful too, just a thought.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

[Little lunch]

I would just suggest to see a GP.
They can direct you from there.