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Current time: 29th March 2017, 07:11

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Spoiled Rotten
#1
Spoiled Rotten
This is an old article but with Christmas coming up I've noticed a lot of kids acting this way. Anyway I will bold some points, and see if you guys agree, disagree or just don't care.


"We’re lavishing our kids with unwarranted praise, trying to be their BFFs instead of their parents, and giving them anything they ask for. Where have we gone wrong?"

Should parents praise their children and comfort them as a best friend or should parents criticize and give their children tough love to teach them life lessons?

"Bring back the chores, proclaims Richard Bromfield, a Boston psychologist and author of How to Unspoil Your Child Fast. Simple tasks like making beds, washing dishes, and setting the table teach kids a basic work ethic and give them a sense of accomplishment. That’s what makes kids happy—“not constant flattery and reward,” Bromfield says. “Competency and real skills are what endow a child with robust self-esteem.” Chores, in other words, give them purpose and “a real connection to their world and their place in it.”"

Do parents make their children happy by rewarding them and letting them decide how to run their lives or are parents making their children happy by strict guild lines and chores to make them understand hard work?

"Stop giving. “Getting what they want, whenever they want it, can undermine children’s learning patience, gratitude, and all those old-fashioned values that help the adults they grow into manage a healthy, responsible, and contented life,” Bromfield says. Ironically, he says, “Affluent parenting can deprive a child of fundamental life skills.”"

Should parents give their children their every want to show them what life has to offer or should parents teach old fashion values? Do the old fashion values apply to the 21st century or do they belong in the past?

"here’s a teenager who roars down our street in a bright yellow Audi. I asked my neighbor, “Who buys their teenage son a brand-new sports car?” She gave it to me straight: “Dumb parents.” She has a point; but really, what drives people to make poor parenting decisions? I have a theory: They want their kids to like them. That has to be the reason parents these days allow their middle schoolers to stay up past midnight to watch The Tonight Show, or let their teenagers host unsupervised gatherings at their homes, or why they remain silent while their kids badmouth their teachers."

Should parents buy their children nice cars and other things if they can afford it? Should teenagers be allowed to do these types of things to learn how to become young adults? Or should they be taught with strict rules and responsibility how to become an adult.

Plenty more in the article just some things I wanted to highlight. If you'd like to quote some more from the article and post your thoughts more than welcome! Big Grin

http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/artic...iled-kids/
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#2
RE: Spoiled Rotten
I like to go half and half.
I'm strict with lots of rules but I often praise her for things she's done well and I tell her how much I love her every day.
I'm only facetious because I like to use all the vowels at once, in order.
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#3
RE: Spoiled Rotten
If you reward a child for doing 'good' then you have something to withhold when they are being 'bad.' You incentivize good behavior over bad. As a non-parent, I guarantee that this works 101% of the time.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."

-Stephen Jay Gould
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#4
RE: Spoiled Rotten
I am also not a parent (although I'd like to be). I'd toss in my ideas, but what parent would ever listen to a non-parent when it comes to their own kids?
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#5
RE: Spoiled Rotten
I am not a parent and no idea about parenting, but from how I was raised I cannot really advocate for chores or punishment. My parents never ever hit me, and I hardly remember them ever scolding me. I was never taught to fear my parents, and maybe that's why I love and respect them very much. And this respect is what makes me want to follow their wishes, to see them be happy because it makes me feel the same way.

Since I was very young, my parents had taught me that as humans we have to make choices and take decisions and they'll do their best to guide me but being humans they might be wrong, and so at the end of it I'd have decide for myself what is right for me even if the decision is different from theirs. I was and still am free to decide things for myself, and those decisions are my responsibility. This freedom to make mistakes and learn with their guidance meant I never felt the need to rebel against them.

My parents never scolded me or gave me lies when I asked the difficult questions growing up, and so I always can talk to them openly about anything that's on my mind, I've never had to hide things from them.

As for buying nice things, we were never rich, each month was always on a tight budget, but I don't think there has ever been something that I wanted and my parents didn't find a way to get for me. But did I grow up to be a spoilt child? I think not, in fact when I realized how much trouble my demands would cause my parents, I started saving up, earning from odd jobs, and now I am quite capable of not only taking care of my own needs, but I can look after them too.
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#6
RE: Spoiled Rotten
I didn't spoil my kids, but they had it a shit ton better than I ever did as a kid. Firm but fair, even when the kids cried that "It isn't fair!". I told them to get used to it, life isn't fair, either. I never beat them; I managed to transcend that paradigm, and they never had to eat out of a dumpster, either. My kids have it pretty good, but spoiled isn't a word I would use, by far. One of them (born on date, 12/86- can't trust him anymore Big Grin  ) told me the other day that most of his cohorts are members of the "cookie generation"- they get rewards for participation as opposed to actually accomplishing something. Lame/spoiled. Dodgy
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#7
RE: Spoiled Rotten
All good things in moderation. You don't have to cater to their every whim, but you don't have to get the belt out every time they step out of line, either. It's very easy to sink into the trap of doting on your kids, because they usually start out very cute and sweet, and they are your precious little babies. But you do have a responsibility to turn these people into independent, constructive members of society. It's a balancing act, and there's no one right way to do things. That's also why some say it takes a village to raise a child.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#8
RE: Spoiled Rotten
Meh. Every older generation shakes their fists at the younger generation and calls them "spoiled and lazy".

What I particularly don't care for is smug, blanket generalizations on parents today and how they all supposedly spoil their kids.

My child certainly has it better than I did when I was a kid but that's because we didn't have food in the fridge when I was a kid and my parents were neglectful. Nor do I hit my child, like I was.

I'm not generally in favor of sticking one's nose in other family's parenting techniques but if you're going to do that, beware of blanket generalizations.
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
-Anais Nin
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#9
RE: Spoiled Rotten
No kids, but I read John Rosemond's column, and boy oh boy, he could sure solve some problems with some parents around here.

"Your wife don't suck your dick like that does she?"



"Yeah, she does, and she gets it all over her fucking face. That's about a hundred dollar load, bud ."
























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#10
RE: Spoiled Rotten
(23rd December 2016, 00:10)Tres Leches Wrote: Meh. Every older generation shakes their fists at the younger generation and calls them "spoiled and lazy".

What I particularly don't care for is smug, blanket generalizations on parents today and how they all supposedly spoil their kids.

My child certainly has it better than I did when I was a kid but that's because we didn't have food in the fridge when I was a kid and my parents were neglectful. Nor do I hit my child, like I was.

I'm not generally in favor of sticking one's nose in other family's parenting techniques but if you're going to do that, beware of blanket generalizations.

That's what millennial hipsters ALWAYS say!
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