Alex Jones Apologizes For Pizzzagate

[Fireball]

Fuck him. If he got pushed out of an airplane flying over the Himalayas at 37,000 feet, I'd take another swig of mineral water and move on to the next news item.

Fuck him.

  He won't fall far enough that way. I say stake him out on an anthill of those fine specimens you have down there in Texas, and cover him with honey.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Fuck him. If he got pushed out of an airplane flying over the Himalayas at 37,000 feet, I'd take another swig of mineral water and move on to the next news item.

Fuck him.

  He won't fall far enough that way. I say stake him out on an anthill of those fine specimens you have down there in Texas, and cover him with honey.

He lives in Austin ... the ants down here know better than to snack on that unsavory piece-of-shit. I'm fine with dropping him ten thousand feet into some freezing mountains.

[The Industrial Atheist]

I wonder if and to what degree he believes the crazy shit he says all the time...especially that weird crap about demons from lower dimensions that want to reach a higher dimension by getting people addicted to phones and tablets.

[Pat Mustard]

Do you know what the best thing is? That apologetic non-apology does nothing to help Jones with any pending lawsuit. In fact, I'd say it could quite easily be used against him in court, in order to show that Pizzagate was a malicious falsehood from the start.

[CanOfMountainDew]

Mr. Jones made the apology to the owner of Comet Ping Pong, James Alefantis, on video, reading from a carefully worded statement that emphasized how widely the theory had spread before he weighed in on it. He said that Infowars had “disassociated” itself from the story in December and had taken down the majority of broadcasts and videos that mentioned it. Mr. Jones also said that two reporters the show had worked with “are no longer with us,” although he did not identify them or discuss the exact nature of their work with Infowars.

“To my knowledge today, neither Mr. Alefantis, nor his restaurant Comet Ping Pong, were involved in any human trafficking, as was part of the theories about Pizzagate that were being written about in many media outlets and which we commented upon,” Mr. Jones said. “We apologize to the extent our commentaries could be construed as negative statements about Mr. Alefantis or Comet Ping Pong, and we hope that anyone else involved in commenting on Pizzagate will do the same thing.”

Of course, this leaves the true believers with few options.  Perhaps they will have to admit that Alex Jones is nothing but a shyster peddling bullshit for profit.

Actually the conspiracy/truther communities already consider AJ to be a 'shyster peddling bullshit for profit.' AJ is widely considered by these communities to be what is called a "gate-keeper" or "controlled opposition." Basically his job is to lead people who are just beginning to get into the conspiracy/truther movement down the wrong path so that they never actually find actual truths. He affirms some actual truths that newbies would have suspicions about, thus gaining their trust, and then propogates bullshit alongside it, so as to lead them astray.

[Aroura]

I'll translate for anyone that doesn't speak delusional shithead.  "I've come to realize that Mr. Alefantis rightfully has a fat lawsuit he could lay on me, and I'm trying to get ahead of it."  

So, there we have it.  That's the way to get a macho asshole like AJ to eat crow.  Threaten his pocket book.

Of course, this leaves the true believers with few options.  Perhaps they will have to admit that Alex Jones is nothing but a shyster peddling bullshit for profit.  The more likely scenario that I see is that they will have to believe  that the Illuminati/NWO/Clintons got to him, too.  They'll probably split into factions that either believe he is now one of "them," or "they" have something so powerful over his head that he has no choice to play ball, like maybe "they" kidnapped his family or something.

Really, the bolded is the only way for the tinfoil hatters to escape with their delusional worldview intact.

Regardless, it's always fun watching pompous assholes having to get down on their knees and pretend they have some integrity.

It only took what, 3+ months to issue the apology after "distancing" himself from the story back in December.   I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest the apology lacks...sincerity.  I have to agree that it's nice to see a jackass like AJ paint himself into a corner.

This is exactly what they are already doing.  Saying the "deep state" either threatened him or turned him.  

Sickening.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Fuck him. If he got pushed out of an airplane flying over the Himalayas at 37,000 feet, I'd take another swig of mineral water and move on to the next news item.

Fuck him.

Don't sugarcoat it, Thump. Tell us how you really feel...

Boru

[Faith No More]

Actually the conspiracy/truther communities already consider AJ to be a 'shyster peddling bullshit for profit.' AJ is widely considered by these communities to be what is called a "gate-keeper" or "controlled opposition." Basically his job is to lead people who are just beginning to get into the conspiracy/truther movement down the wrong path so that they never actually find actual truths. He affirms some actual truths that newbies would have suspicions about, thus gaining their trust, and then propogates bullshit alongside it, so as to lead them astray.

That's interesting. It only makes sense, though. One conspiracy nut thinking the other nut isn't a genuine kook was bound to happen, I guess.

Do you have any examples of someone the truthers consider reliable? It's not that guy that sees dicks all over the Denver Airport, is it?

ETA: So I googled "Alex Jones Gatekeeper," and surprise, surprise, it's mostly youtube videos. I'm can't watch any of those right now, but what little I could read about it is crazy. Something about him helping take over Mexico or some shit.

[Thumpalumpacus]

That's interesting.  It only makes sense, though.  One conspiracy nut thinking the other nut isn't a genuine kook was bound to happen, I guess.

It's not terribly different from the phenomenon of religious sectarianism: "Dude, my imaginary conspiracy is more real than your imaginary conspiracy."

Never mind the turtles, it's No True Scotsmen all the way down.

[Brian37]

You are not going to rid the world of Jerry Springer tabloid garbage completely. But, where these sickos go wrong is not making it clear enough that it is merely mind rot entertainment. We have far too much junk made that the peddlers of such blur that line to the point the viewer/listener has a hard time telling the difference. 

I don't feel one bit sorry for Alex. I have had gullible right wing family members whom have fallen for similar motif media and believed stupid things. My older sister because of World Nuts Daily, really believed that Obama was going to use our health care laws to insert RDF chips in humans. 

If you are going to write tabloid crap you know is bullshit, you still have the responsibility to make it clear in big print "parody" and or "for entertainment only". 

These types of assholes might have that loophole fine print, maybe, but I don't want to hear shit from them that they care about who buys it as really being true. 

Jerry Falwell once sued Hustler porn magazine founder Larry Flint for writing a fake add saying he fucked his mom. But the add clearly said "parody" and it wasn't in fine print. SCOTUS while they agreed it was offensive and not true, he could print it because no reasonable person would believe he did that, on top of making it clear it was not a real story.

Now, that does not however make Trump right for saying "fake news", because of his constantly quoting Fox News which has been fact checked by independent watchdogs whom point out that network misleads and distorts and is not as accurate as it would have you think. Trump panders to the scared conspiracy nuts so that moron has no room to talk.

---

You are not going to rid the world of Jerry Springer tabloid garbage completely. But, where these sickos go wrong is not making it clear enough that it is merely mind rot entertainment. We have far too much junk made that the peddlers of such blur that line to the point the viewer/listener has a hard time telling the difference. 

I don't feel one bit sorry for Alex. I have had gullible right wing family members whom have fallen for similar motif media and believed stupid things. My older sister because of World Nuts Daily, really believed that Obama was going to use our health care laws to insert RDF chips in humans. 

If you are going to write tabloid crap you know is bullshit, you still have the responsibility to make it clear in big print "parody" and or "for entertainment only". 

These types of assholes might have that loophole fine print, maybe, but I don't want to hear shit from them that they care about who buys it as really being true. 

Jerry Falwell once sued Hustler porn magazine founder Larry Flint for writing a fake add saying he fucked his mom. But the add clearly said "parody" and it wasn't in fine print. SCOTUS while they agreed it was offensive and not true, he could print it because no reasonable person would believe he did that, on top of making it clear it was not a real story.

Now, that does not however make Trump right for saying "fake news", because of his constantly quoting Fox News which has been fact checked by independent watchdogs whom point out that network misleads and distorts and is not as accurate as it would have you think. Trump panders to the scared conspiracy nuts so that moron has no room to talk.