My gift for the high and sleepless

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

# If a pregnant woman goes swimming,
does that make her a human submarine?

# What is silent in the word scent,
the s or c?

# Do all dogs bark the same language?

# If you expect the unexpected,
doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

# If gym equipment was invisible,
gyms would look like silent raves.

# Do bald people use shampoo or soap?

# Why is W called double U,
shouldn't it be called double V?

# Why don't Jedis turn off their opponents light sabers
by force pressing the button?

# Thanks to the popularity of gifs
we are living in the golden age of silent films.

# "Queue" is just "Q" followed by 4 silent letters.

# Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job only after they are fired.

# The brain named itself

# Why do noses run and feet smell?

# Once you read the dictionary
every other book you read is just a remix.

# If you're a security guard at Samsung
does that make you guardians of the galaxies?

# Apple has "air", Amazon has "fire", Google has "earth", why doesn't Microsoft have "water"?

# Why is Greenland covered in ice while Iceland is covered in green?

# Today is the oldest you've ever been
and the youngest you'll ever be.

# Dora calls herself an explorer,
but travels exclusively through mapped territories.

# Two people can never go to each others funeral.

# If you drop a bar of soap
is the soap dirty or is the floor clean?

# What if oxygen is killing you?
It just takes 75 - 100 years to fully work?

# Why are buildings called buildings if they've already been built?

[Edwardo Piet]

If gym equipment was invisible,
gyms would look like silent raves

This one was good!