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Atheist Forums › Community › Introductions › Ask a ... v
Ask your Creator.

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Ask your Creator.
I_am_not_mafia Offline
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#91
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 12, 2017 at 5:46 pm (This post was last modified: October 12, 2017 at 5:46 pm by I_am_not_mafia.)
Why was I created with batteries not included? And where do I insert them?
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Paraselene Offline Donators
Faith's Nightmare
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#92
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 12, 2017 at 5:48 pm
(October 12, 2017 at 5:46 pm)Mathilda Wrote: Why was I created with batteries not included? And where do I insert them?

Bolded is a good movie.
"What a little moonlight can do." ~ Billie Holiday
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#93
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 12, 2017 at 5:53 pm
(October 12, 2017 at 5:46 pm)Mathilda Wrote: Why was I created with batteries not included? And where do I insert them?

You have a solar battery to give you energy.  You're welcome, btw.

If you need additional batteries and you don't know where to insert them, I suggest you consult you local erotica shop.

Wink

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Fake Messiah Offline
The Disclosure President
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#94
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 17, 2017 at 6:41 am
(October 11, 2017 at 5:43 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: If you have any questions, please ask away and I will get God to answer for you.

Why did you have to make human testicles outside? You know how painful it is to get kicked in the balls? Why didn't you design them inside like in frogs?
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
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#95
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 17, 2017 at 7:09 am
At a guess, for a laugh.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Gawdzilla Sama Offline
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#96
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 17, 2017 at 7:46 am
Why couldn't you have designed me rich instead of adorable?
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Joods Offline Donators
LastPoet's final (and best) jerk off member.
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#97
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 17, 2017 at 7:51 am
(October 12, 2017 at 3:02 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(October 12, 2017 at 8:18 am)Joods Wrote: I have a question. But being as he's supposed to be everywhere, he should already know what that is. I await his answer.

The blue one.

And, yes, murder is a sin unless I do it or you do it in My name.

Lol. Ya still want my list?
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand. 
A well deserved beat down 
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work.  If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now.  Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#98
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 17, 2017 at 2:54 pm
(October 17, 2017 at 6:41 am)Fake Messiah Wrote:
(October 11, 2017 at 5:43 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: If you have any questions, please ask away and I will get God to answer for you.

Why did you have to make human testicles outside? You know how painful it is to get kicked in the balls? Why didn't you design them inside like in frogs?

Because men are physically stronger than women so I needed to give them another obvious weakness.

Also, notice how women, no matter how young, seem to instinctively know to hit men there?

Yeah, I did that, too.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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Religious Views: Time to end them
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#99
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 17, 2017 at 2:56 pm
(October 17, 2017 at 7:46 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Why couldn't you have designed me rich instead of adorable?

That was Satan.

Occasionally the old snake sneaks into the lab and plays with the ingredients.

You were supposed to be the next Bill Gates.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 36005
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Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#100
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 17, 2017 at 2:58 pm
(October 17, 2017 at 7:51 am)Joods Wrote:
(October 12, 2017 at 3:02 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: The blue one.

And, yes, murder is a sin unless I do it or you do it in My name.

Lol. Ya still want my list?

No, I have it.

I'm surprised a little by the size and details of the list.

Do you REALLY want John removed in such an...original manner?

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Community › Introductions › Ask a ... v
Ask your Creator.

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