Atheistic Xmas carol reworkings

[Duty]

Summit to do....any more for any more? Edits?

Ding Dong Merrily on High.


Ding dong merrily on high,
In Devon the choirs are singing,

Ding dong verily the pies,
From Greggs are truly filling,

Liiiiiiiiiii-sten here,
Like fairies gods are fiction.



Oh how fine it feels to be,
No more afraid of Hades,

There's no evidence my dear,
It's all made up by crazies,

Liiiiiiiiiii-sten here,
Like fairies gods are fiction.



We are so much better off,
The milk of human kindness,

Really brings about results,
With methods known as science,

Liiiiiiiiiii-sten here,
Like fairies gods are fiction.




Joy to the World.


Joy to the world, The Lord has gone,
Not that, he was, for real!

A superstitious malady,
A lie of great hilarity,

Charles Darwin for the win,
Charles Darwin for the win,
Charles Darwin, Charles Da-arwi-in for the win.



Joy to the earth, true reason reigns,
A plague, religion's dead!

Religion as a tool was blunt,
We people aren't subservient,

There are no spooks on high,
There are no spooks on high,
There are no, there a-are no-o spooks on high.



Truth for the world, no more to hide,
The facts of whence we came,

A copying molecule event,
A spouting hydrothermal vent,

Then complex life evolves,
Then complex life evolves,
Then complex, then co-omple-ex life evolves

[Mister Agenda]

Here's one I learned at the fellowship I used to sporadically attend before Covid:

"God Rest Ye, Unitarians"
Lyrics by the Rev. Christopher Gist Raible of the First Unitarian Church of Worcester

God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay;
Remember there's no evidence there was a Christmas Day;
When Christ was born is just not known, no matter what they say,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

There was no star of Bethlehem, there was no angels' song;
There could have been no wise men for the trip would take too long.
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact!

Our current Christmas customs come from Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East.
We know our so-called holiday is just a pagan feast,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

[brewer]

Nice, but out of sequence.

Got any lent or easter parodies?

[Duty]

Nice, but out of sequence.

Thank you. Only 9 months to go...

[Gwaithmir]

You should check with Freedom From Religion Foundation or Amazon for the record albums of Dan Barker, a musician and ex-minister. He has written and recorded a number of atheist songs. I'm sure some of them are alterations of Xmas carols.

Night at Nakoma (2008, piano solo)
Friendly Neighborhood Atheist (2002, FFRF album)
Beware of Dogma (2004, FFRF album)
Adrift On A Star (2013, FFRF album)

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The mere existence of this topic fills me with existential dread.

Something very, very bad is going to happen.

Boru

[Duty]

---

Here's one I learned at the fellowship I used to sporadically attend before Covid:

"God Rest Ye, Unitarians"
Lyrics by the Rev. Christopher Gist Raible of the First Unitarian Church of Worcester

God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay;
Remember there's no evidence there was a Christmas Day;
When Christ was born is just not known, no matter what they say,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

There was no star of Bethlehem, there was no angels' song;
There could have been no wise men for the trip would take too long.
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact!

Our current Christmas customs come from Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East.
We know our so-called holiday is just a pagan feast,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.

Perfect, nice one - just replace "Unitarian" with "merry gentlemen" and it's a runner!

[Angrboda]

Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus
Laid down some phat beats

The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where He lay
The little Lord Jesus
Kept rhymin' away

The cattle are lowing
The Baby awake
Rhymin' and timin'
With nary mistake

I love You, Lord Jesus
Lock it down, Master Fly
And stay by my side
With the speaker on high

[Duty]

 drum and bass Jesus?

[Angrboda]