It's A Quote

[Gwaithmir]

"There is no expedient to which men will not resort in order to avoid the necessary labor of thinking." (Sir Joshua Reynolds) 

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

‘Tell people that there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you.

‘Tell them the paint is wet and they’ll touch it to be sure.’ - George Carlin.

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[Gwaithmir]

"Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock, and finding out you still have two hours left to sleep." (Charles M. Schulz) 

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

'I won't back down.' - Tom Petty

'I may readjust my stance if you have a convincing argument.' - Tom Reasonable

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[BrianSoddingBoru4]

‘Most modern fantasy just rearranges the furniture in Tolkien’s attic.’ - Terry Pratchett

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[Gwaithmir]

"I hate newspapermen! They sneak into camp, picking up all their rumors from the idlers and shirks, and printing them as if they were facts. I treat them as spies, which is in fact exactly what they are." (Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman) 

[Fake Messiah]

"Several years ago I went to St. Petersburg, Russia, where some of my family was from, and I felt as if I didn’t belong at all. It didn’t look as if it had changed much since the early 1900s, when the pogroms there convinced my family to get the hell out. In these pogroms, organized gangs of Russians terrorized and killed more than a few Jews. My Aunt Sonia suffered six saber wounds during one of these attacks. Luckily, her sister, my grandmother, had come to America at the age of sixteen and made enough money to bring her here before a seventh saber wound could be delivered. I can’t even imagine a time when people used sabers, let alone what would possess the Russians to go after my ancestors, who weren’t what one would call practicing Jews."
~ Lewis Black

[Silver]

Free will does exist. It's just fucking hard. ~ Dolores Abernathy

[Fake Messiah]

Jesus is one of the major reasons it was hard to be Jewish. It took years for the Christian community to get over the fact that we probably had him whacked. Mel Gibson still carries a grudge. For God’s sake, it’s the reason he had a drinking problem. Or as he liked to put it, “For the love of Christ, get me a margarita.”

I have to say that I was disappointed when the Catholic Church let the Jews off the hook. For centuries they were absolutely sure that we were intimately involved in the crucifixion of Jesus, even the Jews born hundreds of years after the deed was done.

I have never felt the need to be macho because I knew that my people had killed God’s only begotten son, and that was all I needed on my résumé. Christ-killer sure beats being called a kike. Of course, either expletive is usually followed by a good ass kicking. But I felt it kind of gave me a leg up. “I killed your savior, so bring it on.” Talk about the ultimate fighting match.

And why were Catholics so pissed at us? If someone didn’t kill Jesus, there’d be no Christianity. (Much like if Anna Nicole Smith hadn’t died, she wouldn’t be famous.)

~Lewis Black

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

‘Goats are like mushrooms: if you shoot a duck, I like toasters.’ - Herschel Walker, US Senate candidate.

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