A sad realization

[MR. Macabre 666]

We just hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in at least 10 years, we haven't had a place with enough room for all of us until now. It was the first time both of our kids and all 4 grandkids, along with both of my sisters and family have been to our place. We forgot how much work it was, but everyone brought something for the table, and dinner was awesome. It's my personal favorite meal.

Both before and after dinner we were all hanging out and getting caught up on everyone's lives and news. My youngest sister announced that she's moving to South Carolina before the end of the year to get the hell out of Washington state, DAMN.
As I was just sitting listening to everyone's conversations, I realized something that I've been thinking for a while now, I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone in my family. Other than being related to one another in one way or the other, we don't have any common interests that we can talk about.
Politics and religion are off the table, (as they should be) we couldn't be more different if we tried. Our son and I have a couple of bands that we're both fans of(RUSH and Dream Theater), but not much else. Our daughter still thinks she can convince me to become a believer, but it will never happen.

Everything I'm interested in, movies, music, books, history, Halloween, witchcraft, the occult, muscle cars and trucks, drag racing, are all off limits in her home and our son's place as well. I can't(don't) even talk to my wife about any of my interests or hobbies, she really doesn't care. This leaves our kids and our relationship open for discussion, things like what to have for dinner that night, what we need from the grocery store or Costco, or when she's going to be gone for her fucking church's events or gatherings.

It's a big part of the reason I've been dealing with depression ever since I had to retire 8 years ago. When you're gone 12-13 hours a day for work, there's not much time for anything else but getting ready for the next day at work or working around the house.
It's pretty fucking pathetic.

[arewethereyet]

It's hard to be surrounded by people and still be lonely.

My family of origin is pretty much disconnected. I speak with my sister now and then and send a 'Happy Birthday' to my brother on Facebook.

My oldest and youngest live here in town. We all get together very seldom due to work and kid schedules but enjoy the time we do have together. My daughter and I talk a few times a week on the phone and she comes over a few times a month.

Luckily, I am pretty introverted and can entertain myself just fine. Husband and I are often miles apart on various subjects. There are times I just tell him that I don't think we need to talk about certain things. We are both smart asses so that helps.

I am sorry you are feeling as you are. Being forced into retirement is quite a change.

[brewer]

You could talk about us, I won't mind.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I grew up in the House of Five Strangers. I've mentioned that I never had a conversation with my Y-donor, EVER. Pretty much the same with Mom. Maybe a couple of times, but nothing memorable. My brother was a box of rocks. I suspect he was the poster child for "social promotion". (Look it up if you don't know it.) My sister was six years younger than me and we didn't mesh at all. Different universes.

Added to the above was the belief of the Y-donor that I wasn't his kid. His in-depth knowledge of genetics (he didn't finish the fifth grade) said that his "son", the red-headed moron, was legit but I wasn't.

Just venting. He died ugly, diabetic who couldn't stay away from the circus peanuts. Mom's gone. No idea about the sibs. No caring either.

Got a good wife, my own home, and way more cats than I should have. I built the backyardigans a heated cat castle.

Shoulda stopped after "up".

[Thumpalumpacus]

We just hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in at least 10 years, we haven't had a place with enough room for all of us until now. It was the first time both of our kids and all 4 grandkids, along with both of my sisters and family have been to our place. We forgot how much work it was, but everyone brought something for the table, and dinner was awesome. It's my personal favorite meal.

Both before and after dinner we were all hanging out and getting caught up on everyone's lives and news. My youngest sister announced that she's moving to South Carolina before the end of the year to get the hell out of Washington state, DAMN.
As I was just sitting listening to everyone's conversations, I realized something that I've been thinking for a while now, I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone in my family. Other than being related to one another in one way or the other, we don't have any common interests that we can talk about.
Politics and religion are off the table, (as they should be) we couldn't be more different if we tried. Our son and I have a couple of bands that we're both fans of(RUSH and Dream Theater), but not much else. Our daughter still thinks she can convince me to become a believer, but it will never happen.

Everything I'm interested in, movies, music, books, history, Halloween, witchcraft, the occult, muscle cars and trucks, drag racing, are all off limits in her home and our son's place as well. I can't(don't) even talk to my wife about any of my interests or hobbies, she really doesn't care. This leaves our kids and our relationship open for discussion, things like what to have for dinner that night, what we need from the grocery store or Costco, or when she's going to be gone for her fucking church's events or gatherings.

It's a big part of the reason I've been dealing with depression ever since I had to retire 8 years ago. When you're gone 12-13 hours a day for work, there's not much time for anything else but getting ready for the next day at work or working around the house.
It's pretty fucking pathetic.

I feel bad for ya. I'm lucky that I have family members with whom I disagree with (one in politics, another in religion) but we're still able to talk clearly and not get butthurt. I'm sorry you don't have that with your wife ... but I'd say don't stop trying with her even if failure is likely.

You and I are both Rush fans, so I'll leave you with this lyric from Neil Peart:

Just between us, I think it's time to recognize
the differences we sometimes fear to show
Just between us, I think it's time for us to realize
the spaces in between leave room for you and I to grow.

I know that holding this in mind for myself, and expressing this thought to those I love, has helped me. May it help you as well.

[Bucky Ball]

We just hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in at least 10 years, we haven't had a place with enough room for all of us until now. It was the first time both of our kids and all 4 grandkids, along with both of my sisters and family have been to our place. We forgot how much work it was, but everyone brought something for the table, and dinner was awesome. It's my personal favorite meal.

Both before and after dinner we were all hanging out and getting caught up on everyone's lives and news. My youngest sister announced that she's moving to South Carolina before the end of the year to get the hell out of Washington state, DAMN.
As I was just sitting listening to everyone's conversations, I realized something that I've been thinking for a while now, I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone in my family. Other than being related to one another in one way or the other, we don't have any common interests that we can talk about.
Politics and religion are off the table, (as they should be) we couldn't be more different if we tried. Our son and I have a couple of bands that we're both fans of(RUSH and Dream Theater), but not much else. Our daughter still thinks she can convince me to become a believer, but it will never happen.

Everything I'm interested in, movies, music, books, history, Halloween, witchcraft, the occult, muscle cars and trucks, drag racing, are all off limits in her home and our son's place as well. I can't(don't) even talk to my wife about any of my interests or hobbies, she really doesn't care. This leaves our kids and our relationship open for discussion, things like what to have for dinner that night, what we need from the grocery store or Costco, or when she's going to be gone for her fucking church's events or gatherings.

It's a big part of the reason I've been dealing with depression ever since I had to retire 8 years ago. When you're gone 12-13 hours a day for work, there's not much time for anything else but getting ready for the next day at work or working around the house.
It's pretty fucking pathetic.

She's going to be very sorry about moving to South Carolina. Some very good friends just moved back ... they have hurricanes all the time now. 
Tell her to take a second look. Climate change is more than real.

[MR. Macabre 666]

I grew up in the House of Five Strangers. I've mentioned that I never had a conversation with my Y-donor, EVER. Pretty much the same with Mom. Maybe a couple of times, but nothing memorable. My brother was a box of rocks. I suspect he was the poster child for "social promotion". (Look it up if you don't know it.) My sister was six years younger than me and we didn't mesh at all. Different universes.

Added to the above was the belief of the Y-donor that I wasn't his kid. His in-depth knowledge of genetics (he didn't finish the fifth grade) said that his "son", the red-headed moron, was legit but I wasn't.

Just venting. He died ugly, diabetic who couldn't stay away from the circus peanuts. Mom's gone. No idea about the sibs. No caring either.

Got a good wife, my own home, and way more cats than I should have. I built the backyardigans a heated cat castle.

Shoulda stopped after "up".

I like kitty cats, wish I could have one.

[MR. Macabre 666]

We just hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in at least 10 years, we haven't had a place with enough room for all of us until now. It was the first time both of our kids and all 4 grandkids, along with both of my sisters and family have been to our place. We forgot how much work it was, but everyone brought something for the table, and dinner was awesome. It's my personal favorite meal.

Both before and after dinner we were all hanging out and getting caught up on everyone's lives and news. My youngest sister announced that she's moving to South Carolina before the end of the year to get the hell out of Washington state, DAMN.
As I was just sitting listening to everyone's conversations, I realized something that I've been thinking for a while now, I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone in my family. Other than being related to one another in one way or the other, we don't have any common interests that we can talk about.
Politics and religion are off the table, (as they should be) we couldn't be more different if we tried. Our son and I have a couple of bands that we're both fans of(RUSH and Dream Theater), but not much else. Our daughter still thinks she can convince me to become a believer, but it will never happen.

Everything I'm interested in, movies, music, books, history, Halloween, witchcraft, the occult, muscle cars and trucks, drag racing, are all off limits in her home and our son's place as well. I can't(don't) even talk to my wife about any of my interests or hobbies, she really doesn't care. This leaves our kids and our relationship open for discussion, things like what to have for dinner that night, what we need from the grocery store or Costco, or when she's going to be gone for her fucking church's events or gatherings.

It's a big part of the reason I've been dealing with depression ever since I had to retire 8 years ago. When you're gone 12-13 hours a day for work, there's not much time for anything else but getting ready for the next day at work or working around the house.
It's pretty fucking pathetic.

I feel bad for ya. I'm lucky that I have family members with whom I disagree with (one in politics, another in religion) but we're still able to talk clearly and not get butthurt. I'm sorry you don't have that with your wife ... but I'd say don't stop trying with her even if failure is likely.

You and I are both Rush fans, so I'll leave you with this lyric from Neil Peart:

Just between us, I think it's time to recognize
the differences we sometimes fear to show
Just between us, I think it's time for us to realize
the spaces in between leave room for you and I to grow.

I know that holding this in mind for myself, and expressing this thought to those I love, has helped me. May it help you as well.

I miss seeing RUSH live, my first concert was them in 1980. Those lyrics are from "the garden" aren't they?

[MR. Macabre 666]

We just hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in at least 10 years, we haven't had a place with enough room for all of us until now. It was the first time both of our kids and all 4 grandkids, along with both of my sisters and family have been to our place. We forgot how much work it was, but everyone brought something for the table, and dinner was awesome. It's my personal favorite meal.

Both before and after dinner we were all hanging out and getting caught up on everyone's lives and news. My youngest sister announced that she's moving to South Carolina before the end of the year to get the hell out of Washington state, DAMN.
As I was just sitting listening to everyone's conversations, I realized something that I've been thinking for a while now, I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone in my family. Other than being related to one another in one way or the other, we don't have any common interests that we can talk about.
Politics and religion are off the table, (as they should be) we couldn't be more different if we tried. Our son and I have a couple of bands that we're both fans of(RUSH and Dream Theater), but not much else. Our daughter still thinks she can convince me to become a believer, but it will never happen.

Everything I'm interested in, movies, music, books, history, Halloween, witchcraft, the occult, muscle cars and trucks, drag racing, are all off limits in her home and our son's place as well. I can't(don't) even talk to my wife about any of my interests or hobbies, she really doesn't care. This leaves our kids and our relationship open for discussion, things like what to have for dinner that night, what we need from the grocery store or Costco, or when she's going to be gone for her fucking church's events or gatherings.

It's a big part of the reason I've been dealing with depression ever since I had to retire 8 years ago. When you're gone 12-13 hours a day for work, there's not much time for anything else but getting ready for the next day at work or working around the house.
It's pretty fucking pathetic.

She's going to be very sorry about moving to South Carolina. Some very good friends just moved back ... they have hurricanes all the time now. 
Tell her to take a second look. Climate change is more than real.

She's determined to get out of Washington state because of the lack of sunshine for 6 months.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I miss seeing RUSH live, my first concert was them in 1980. Those lyrics are from "the garden" aren't they?

I saw Rush when they were lead-off group for KISS. Geddy wore a white angel-wing robe for "Xanadu".