I was a born again christian for about a year, before I walked away.
Before that, I thought all religions were just man made superstitions and were on their way out.
What I got out of being involved - it was my first time away from home - my first year at University. I couldn't figure out how I fitted in. I'd only just realised I'm gay, and that caused conflicts with the christian crowd.
After I left, though, it all went quiet. I got what I wanted - to be left along, to forget, to not think about what happened, or to think about being gay.
I hadn't realised how lonely I would feel as time went on. Several years passed. Here in the UK, religion is not something that is talked about. You can be quietly anything and nobody will ask questions.
I did find some groups to interact with but they never seemed to last very long.
I did eventually accept being gay - that was terrifying enough - was I doing the right thing there. It seemed right at the time, but I wondered if I was just swapping one bubble for another?
The thing that lingered was sadness. I hear a song that's sad, I feel like crying - I see a film or movie that's sad, again I feel like crying.
It seems there a strong feelings of sadness but not so strong about the happy stuff.
Is this something common for people who were involved with some kind of religion, do they feel strong sadness after they've left, like they're grieving what they've lost?
Before that, I thought all religions were just man made superstitions and were on their way out.
What I got out of being involved - it was my first time away from home - my first year at University. I couldn't figure out how I fitted in. I'd only just realised I'm gay, and that caused conflicts with the christian crowd.
After I left, though, it all went quiet. I got what I wanted - to be left along, to forget, to not think about what happened, or to think about being gay.
I hadn't realised how lonely I would feel as time went on. Several years passed. Here in the UK, religion is not something that is talked about. You can be quietly anything and nobody will ask questions.
I did find some groups to interact with but they never seemed to last very long.
I did eventually accept being gay - that was terrifying enough - was I doing the right thing there. It seemed right at the time, but I wondered if I was just swapping one bubble for another?
The thing that lingered was sadness. I hear a song that's sad, I feel like crying - I see a film or movie that's sad, again I feel like crying.
It seems there a strong feelings of sadness but not so strong about the happy stuff.
Is this something common for people who were involved with some kind of religion, do they feel strong sadness after they've left, like they're grieving what they've lost?
