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What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church? "funny story"
#1
What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church? "funny story"
Just today I went to a pentacostal church with my best friend and my aunt just because I didn't want to eat fish and they were serving burritos for free. At first I was glared at menacingly because I would snicker every time they were singing some dumb song.

Nobody can do me like jesus.
No one can do me like the lord.
The lord will always do me good. ROFL

Then I felt extremely uncomfortable when one person started to cry and wail histericly because everyone started to do it. And then it got worst as they ran around the building in cirlces possessed by the holy ghost and cried their assess off at the alter repenting for all the sins they've done. I started to laugh so then the preacher comes up to me and says do you wish to pray or repent son? I said that I have nothing to pray or repent for, so he went on to preach about bad spirits that walk into the church wearing flesh which kinda made me snicker more since I was singled out being the only guest.

Later on before people started going home, somebody come's up and says that im 19, and I was like yeah how did you know? He says I guessed lol jk, your aunt told me. He then asked me to guess his age and me having such a high intuition guess 27, exactly correct. "keep in mind I didn't know these people" He goe's wow how did you know that? I said, I just did, and so proceeded a group of people asking me to guess their age's and by my supreme skills of understanding and knowing people guessed about 7 peoples ages correctly before being a year off of one person. The paster then come's to me and say's the lord has sent the holy ghost to us in human form so that we may communicate with him. I then said no, im an Athiest, the preacher says the lord has sent you to us you just don't know it son. They begin to wail histerically again and I just laugh and walked out, some followed me outside begging that I must come back to the church and me well I just said yeah sure whatever next time.

And so was my adventure of first being an evil spirit, then after extreme transition I was treated like their messiah. ROFL ROFLOL
Live every day as if already dead, that way you're not disappointed when you are. Big Grin
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#2
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church?
(May 16, 2011 at 2:42 am)JohnDG Wrote: And so was my adventure of first being an evil spirit, then after extreme transition I was treated like their messiah.

How come that shit never happened to me?!?

All I ever got was condescending looks and a "thank god that bad influence is gone" when I left.


Where is that fuckin church?? CAUSE I'M GOIN!! ..... Meet your MESSIAH FOR THE DAY BITCHES!!
[Image: Evolution.png]

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#3
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church?
(May 16, 2011 at 2:42 am)JohnDG Wrote: And so was my adventure of first being an evil spirit, then after extreme transition I was treated like their messiah. ROFL ROFLOL

Those sort of Christians are quite gullible, it is both hilarious and sad at the same time.
undefined
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#4
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church?
I think I need to put attending a pentecostal church on my bucket list. I've heard some wonderful stories but never experienced it myself.
-- Atheist Rapper -- Listen and download ALL songs for free. Register and comment on blog posts.
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#5
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church?
(May 16, 2011 at 2:42 am)JohnDG Wrote: Nobody can do me like jesus.
No one can do me like the lord.
The lord will always do me good.

ROFLOL

They weren't seriously singing that. Only newscasters from The Onion could say that with a straight face.

I can't get to the second sentence without busting up Blush
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
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#6
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church?
(May 16, 2011 at 3:18 am)Aerzia Saerules Arktuos Wrote:
(May 16, 2011 at 2:42 am)JohnDG Wrote: Nobody can do me like jesus.
No one can do me like the lord.
The lord will always do me good.

ROFLOL

They weren't seriously singing that. Only newscasters from The Onion could say that with a straight face.

I can't get to the second sentence without busting up Blush

The irritating part is they sang it for about 5 minutes..
Live every day as if already dead, that way you're not disappointed when you are. Big Grin
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#7
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church? "funny story"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pk5ufvUTuQ

ROFLOL
-- Atheist Rapper -- Listen and download ALL songs for free. Register and comment on blog posts.
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#8
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church? "funny story"
(May 16, 2011 at 3:30 am)Johnny Hoax Wrote:



ROFLOL

ROFL so fucking simular it's not funny, IT'S HISTERICALLY FUNNY!

I fell off my chair laughing.
Live every day as if already dead, that way you're not disappointed when you are. Big Grin
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#9
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church? "funny story"
Your experience sounds like "The Life of Brian" when all the people started following him & calling him the Messiah. It's like people are so desperate to believe in something that they'll believe in anything.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#10
RE: What happens when an athiest goes to a pentacostal church? "funny story"
Sounds like the BEST day out ever!

You should have recorded that stuff... Maybe the most hilarious experience ever witnessed.
Cunt
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