Women's clothes?

[Edwardo Piet]

I don't have the urge to stare unless the staring is encouraged and wanted.

You don't HAVE the urge?

Or you have it, and CONTROL it?

I tend to not have it... like, staring when it's unwanted makes me feel creepy, feeling creepy turns me off and makes me not have the urge to stare.

So I tend to only get the urge when it's not unwanted, because I feel sexier when I'm not a staring creep.

[Catholic_Lady]

Perhaps women shouldn't be "surprised" when that happens, but that still doesn't give men an excuse to objectify a woman. Men are not dogs and still have the ability to look away or to refrain from seeing a fellow human being as an object.

Actually, I think there's a hidden double-standard here.  When a woman dresses provocatively, I think she knows it.  And if the RIGHT PERSON notices, she'll be happy as hell.  What she doesn't like is when someone she doesn't want to attract is attracted-- that is annoying for her.  And that is a double standard, because she's judging some men as not being sexy/attractive/rich/whatever enough to deserve the show that she's putting on.  In making herself attractive and enforcing standards, she's not only objectifying herself, but the men who she might implicity reject.

Do you think if Tom Cruise came up and stared at a woman's chest and said, "Mhhh hmmm, you are so beautiful" that she'd shout "Fuck you, Tom Cruise!  Stop fucking objectifying me!"

I don't think so.  That treatment is reserved for sub-standard mouth breathers like me and the other 90% of real human males.

I'm sure it depends on the woman. Perhaps some "know it" and some don't. Either way, I think it's wrong to assume the worst.

With that being said, I don't see anything wrong with a woman feeling annoyed at being ogled at by men she is not attracted to. That's not objectifying, that's just having a preference and trying to attract people you yourself are attracted to. And when you attract the wrong kind of people, it's frustrating. I don't see how that is "objectifying". 

Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like you're just kind of bitter.

[Catholic_Lady]

She actually makes a great point, and is polite about it. Give it a chance!

Thanks Cath. 

I wish I had the gift of brevity, but I just don't.

Your posts are great. Don't fret about it. 

[Catholic_Lady]

Actually, I think there's a hidden double-standard here.  When a woman dresses provocatively, I think she knows it.  And if the RIGHT PERSON notices, she'll be happy as hell.  What she doesn't like is when someone she doesn't want to attract is attracted-- that is annoying for her.  And that is a double standard, because she's judging some men as not being sexy/attractive/rich/whatever enough to deserve the show that she's putting on.  In making herself attractive and enforcing standards, she's not only objectifying herself, but the men who she might implicity reject.

Do you think if Tom Cruise came up and stared at a woman's chest and said, "Mhhh hmmm, you are so beautiful" that she'd shout "Fuck you, Tom Cruise!  Stop fucking objectifying me!"

I don't think so.  That treatment is reserved for sub-standard mouth breathers like me and the other 90% of real human males.

Oh dear god.

i see the problem now.

If a sexy woman doesn't respond to your advances,
then SHE is guilty of being judgmental.

Silly me.

She should be diplomatic and sleep with every guy who makes an advance.

^This

[Losty]

I'm not required to be sexy all the time

Of course not.  No one is.

I know you were just playing whatevs.

[Catholic_Lady]

I don't have the urge to stare unless the staring is encouraged and wanted.

Yes, this. Starring is just rude and creepy otherwise.

[MTL]

You don't HAVE the urge?

Or you have it, and CONTROL it?

I tend to not have it... like, staring when it's unwanted makes me feel creepy, feeling creepy turns me off and makes me not have the urge to stare.

So I tend to only get the urge when it's not unwanted, because I feel sexier when I'm not a staring creep.

*hugs*  Now that's a decent guy, right there.

(And see that?  He got a hug)!!

[Catholic_Lady]

You don't HAVE the urge?

Or you have it, and CONTROL it?

I tend to not have it... like, staring when it's unwanted makes me feel creepy, feeling creepy turns me off and makes me not have the urge to stare.

So I tend to only get the urge when it's not unwanted, because I feel sexier when I'm not a staring creep.

Which makes perfectly logical sense.^

[MTL]

Oh dear god.

i see the problem now.

If a sexy woman doesn't respond to your advances,
then SHE is guilty of being judgmental.

Silly me.

She should be diplomatic and sleep with every guy who makes an advance.

^This

(thanks again, CL!)

[Catholic_Lady]

I tend to not have it... like, staring when it's unwanted makes me feel creepy, feeling creepy turns me off and makes me not have the urge to stare.

So I tend to only get the urge when it's not unwanted, because I feel sexier when I'm not a staring creep.

*hugs*  Now that's a decent guy, right there.

(And see that?  He got a hug)!!

Yep, my husband is the same way. Which was what initially attracted me to him so much. Just a pure hearted, respectful, genuine guy.