Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
December 1, 2017 at 7:08 pm
(This post was last modified: December 1, 2017 at 7:08 pm by Cyberman.)
I just went to a pub and there was a dog behind the bar. I asked for a Guinness. Dog went "Arf". I said "No, make it a pint."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation:
61
RE: joke time
December 1, 2017 at 11:29 pm
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "We have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper says "You have a drink named Wally?"
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
Posts: 879
Threads: 57
Joined: November 8, 2017
Reputation:
6
RE: joke time
December 2, 2017 at 12:27 am
A dog limps into the bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
Posts: 44320
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
December 2, 2017 at 3:26 am
Fella walks into a pub dragging a chain behind him. The barman says, 'Why are you dragging that chain?' and the man says, 'Because it's easier than pushing it.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 124
Threads: 6
Joined: November 12, 2017
Reputation:
2
RE: joke time
December 2, 2017 at 5:04 am
Fella walks into a bar with a penguin on a string. "Why've you got a penguin on a string?" asked the barman.
"Found him wandering around in the road, thought he wasn't safe."
"You should take him to the zoo," suggested the barman.
"OK, I'll do that."
Next evening in walks the man, still with penguin in tow.
"Thought you were going to take it to the zoo!" exclaimed the barman.
"Oh, I did and we thoroughly enjoyed the trip. I'm taking him to the movies tomorrow."
Posts: 30679
Threads: 2119
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
December 2, 2017 at 4:36 pm
45 walks into a bar, bartender says, "Get the fuck out!"
Posts: 879
Threads: 57
Joined: November 8, 2017
Reputation:
6
RE: joke time
December 2, 2017 at 6:36 pm
Two babies in the maturnity ward; one a boy, and one a girl. The boy says to the girl, "I'm a boy". The girl replies, "Prove it!" The boy whips off his blanket and says, "Look...blue booties!"
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation:
61
RE: joke time
December 2, 2017 at 11:06 pm
A baby seal walks into a club.....
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
Posts: 44320
Threads: 532
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
December 2, 2017 at 11:10 pm
(December 2, 2017 at 11:06 pm)chimp3 Wrote: A baby seal walks into a club.....
(slightly) longer version:
A baby harp seal galumphs into a bar. The barman says, 'What'll you have?' and the seal says, 'Anything but a Canadian Club.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
