Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?

[Pyrrho]

Although I agree that one can get a pretty good sense of someone's sexuality without having sex, it seems like a good idea to try it before making a lifetime commitment.  Because if you are wrong, you then have a lifetime of bad sex, or you break your commitment.  Neither of those seem like good options.

That, by the way, need not necessitate having sex with anyone other than the person you intend to marry; you and your prospective partner could both be virgins beforehand, if you wish.  Then if the sex is good, you go ahead and get married as planned.  If, after several tries, it isn't any good, then you can part without a divorce.


Of course, you should live your life as you please, as long as you are not hurting anyone else.  And certainly, if you don't want to have sex with someone, you ought not do so.

I think if you love someone so much and they love you back, being close to them in that way will never feel "bad." Even if the sex may not be great at first, the good thing is that you have the rest of your lives to try out different things and try to be better for each other. If both people are committed to trying to satisfy their other half, and open with each other about what works for them and doesn't, etc, I think they can be very good in bed for each other. Sex is something you can work on. It's not like it's doomed forever if it's not great at first.

But then again, I'm saying what I'm saying as someone who waited until marriage, and you're saying what you're saying as someone who didn't, so it makes sense for each of us to think our own way is best. 

Actually, I did not say what I have done.  I have no intention of saying what I have done.  I am simply engaged in a conversation about various ideas.

Also, I am more sympathetic to your ideas than some here.  But I do not quite agree with you.  It can work out fine, doing as you have done.  Or not.  And it is the "or not" that is at issue.  I am suggesting that, as a practical matter, it would be a good idea to make sure about the sex before marriage.  Of course, if the sex is good, then it would have been fine to wait.  It is only after the sex, though, that one will know one way or the other.