Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?

[Pyrrho]

So you are saying that sex is not very important to you.  Just because you can "work on it" does not mean that it will actually get better.

I can certainly see waiting if sex is not that important to one.  There is no need for a test drive if one does not care how a new car feels or handles.

Nope! No straw, please.

I meant only exactly what I said. Nothing more, nothing less.

Here is your post:

Actually, I did not say what I have done.  I have no intention of saying what I have done.  I am simply engaged in a conversation about various ideas.

Also, I am more sympathetic to your ideas than some here.  But I do not quite agree with you.  It can work out fine, doing as you have done.  Or not.  And it is the "or not" that is at issue.  I am suggesting that, as a practical matter, it would be a good idea to make sure about the sex before marriage.  Of course, if the sex is good, then it would have been fine to wait.  It is only after the sex, though, that one will know one way or the other.

I don't see how it would make a difference... at least to me, personally. Let's rewind to 6 years ago at a time when my now husband and I were about to get engaged. But before we did, lets say we had sex as some sort of little "test." Even if the sex wasn't great, I wouldn't dump someone I loved so much over something that we had our whole lives to improve on. That's what I just don't get about folks saying they have to "test drive" other people. But I guess it's just not my way of thinking.

Now, if sex is important to you, why would it not make a difference if the sex is bad?  Working on it may or may not improve it, so it may be that the bad sex is all you would ever get in such a case.

Are you saying that you care about sex, but do not care if it is bad?

Let us imagine a situation that, happily, is contrary to what has actually happened.  Suppose you had decided to try him out first.  Suppose he was totally inept and terrible at sex.  Suppose that practice did not make perfect, and he was always horrible, no matter what either of you tried.  Now, would you want to be married to him anyway?  If yes, then obviously good sex is not that important to you, as you would never have good sex with him.  If no, then it would make a difference, contrary to what you claim about it not making a difference.