I'm new to this forum, but I've had similar experiences.
My father died from cancer almost two years ago. While he had been religious for many years, his belief system became very important toward the end. For many years he had been "angry with god", and upon learning about the cancer he struggled for a while about why god would allow him to get the disease but eventually he made a great effort to "get right with god". Meanwhile, I had been increasingly moving away from religion, and becoming more liberal at the same time. Prior to his diagnosis, we frequently had political and religious discussions that bordered on argument. As he became more sick and more dependent on his religion for comfort, I backed off from any political or religious confrontations. He would sometimes express his concern for what he though was my weakening faith, and I would tell him that I was just seeking answers. I told him I wanted to know the truth. This made him feel better, because he believed the truth was his own religion, so he figured that if I was seeking truth I would eventually reestablish my faith. He would say that he was praying for me.
I realize that I was lying to my father. I was willing to blatantly lie to him, and I would do it again. He was in extreme pain, was dealing with the prospect of ceasing to exist, and one of the main ways he would get through it was to think about the wonderful afterlife he was expecting. Sometimes he'd talk to me about how great heaven would be, and I'd tell him how it would be like the times we'd gone fishing or camping. He needed that tiny bit of hope in order to cope. Because I don't believe there are any eternal consequences for lying, I feel absolutely no guilt for trying to give him some peace.
To Captain Jack, I can understand not wanting to confront your grandparents. I can see how there might be certain situations to have a rational discussion about religion with a loved one, but sometimes it's just not worth it. As long as you don't feel guilt for lying, I say let them keep their ignorance.
My father died from cancer almost two years ago. While he had been religious for many years, his belief system became very important toward the end. For many years he had been "angry with god", and upon learning about the cancer he struggled for a while about why god would allow him to get the disease but eventually he made a great effort to "get right with god". Meanwhile, I had been increasingly moving away from religion, and becoming more liberal at the same time. Prior to his diagnosis, we frequently had political and religious discussions that bordered on argument. As he became more sick and more dependent on his religion for comfort, I backed off from any political or religious confrontations. He would sometimes express his concern for what he though was my weakening faith, and I would tell him that I was just seeking answers. I told him I wanted to know the truth. This made him feel better, because he believed the truth was his own religion, so he figured that if I was seeking truth I would eventually reestablish my faith. He would say that he was praying for me.
I realize that I was lying to my father. I was willing to blatantly lie to him, and I would do it again. He was in extreme pain, was dealing with the prospect of ceasing to exist, and one of the main ways he would get through it was to think about the wonderful afterlife he was expecting. Sometimes he'd talk to me about how great heaven would be, and I'd tell him how it would be like the times we'd gone fishing or camping. He needed that tiny bit of hope in order to cope. Because I don't believe there are any eternal consequences for lying, I feel absolutely no guilt for trying to give him some peace.
To Captain Jack, I can understand not wanting to confront your grandparents. I can see how there might be certain situations to have a rational discussion about religion with a loved one, but sometimes it's just not worth it. As long as you don't feel guilt for lying, I say let them keep their ignorance.
