@futilethewinds,
I appreciate your openness. I'm not presuming anything here, but I do feel inspired to share my own brief personal experience.
The title to this thread is more accurate than most people realize. The significant role models young children are exposed to have a major impact upon prepubescent, and early adult development. It wasn't until after I graduated from college that I even began to consider establishing a new construct toward my father. The one I had developed toward him was rage filled and un-forgiving, and I considered my father to be the biggest monster alive for what he had done to me when I was a young boy. I was being eaten alive from the inner workings of something I had created and nursed within my mind over many decades. I was not responsible for being raped by my father and his friends. I was, however, responsible for nursing the wounds that were given to me by him. I now have a great relationship with my dad. It took two years of work and healing to even be able to call him 'dad' again. I am not sure exactly how I was able to reconstruct a warm environment within me to welcome my father back, but I will say that the heaviest load I'd ever chosen to carry has been completely lifted. "Forgiveness" is always for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving. The only actual thing I've 'given' my dad is a son who changed his mind. If I clutch the barbs I was once forcibly made to wear, I can expect only my own blood to flow.
I appreciate your openness. I'm not presuming anything here, but I do feel inspired to share my own brief personal experience.
The title to this thread is more accurate than most people realize. The significant role models young children are exposed to have a major impact upon prepubescent, and early adult development. It wasn't until after I graduated from college that I even began to consider establishing a new construct toward my father. The one I had developed toward him was rage filled and un-forgiving, and I considered my father to be the biggest monster alive for what he had done to me when I was a young boy. I was being eaten alive from the inner workings of something I had created and nursed within my mind over many decades. I was not responsible for being raped by my father and his friends. I was, however, responsible for nursing the wounds that were given to me by him. I now have a great relationship with my dad. It took two years of work and healing to even be able to call him 'dad' again. I am not sure exactly how I was able to reconstruct a warm environment within me to welcome my father back, but I will say that the heaviest load I'd ever chosen to carry has been completely lifted. "Forgiveness" is always for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving. The only actual thing I've 'given' my dad is a son who changed his mind. If I clutch the barbs I was once forcibly made to wear, I can expect only my own blood to flow.
