Hello everyone! I guess I'll just jump right into this because it is weighing heavily on my mind at the moment. I haven't always been an atheist. I started to question things about my "faith" several years ago but didn't identify, at least to myself, as an atheist until a year or so ago. Up until then I considered myself agnostic. Okay, that is a brief enough bit of background for this post. Well, other than: I am in love with a theist.
During the course of the last few years I have become more and more sure of where I stand as far as my religious beliefs. What a swell time for this huge change in my life to occur because on top of that I have been dating this wonderful girl for a little over 8 months now. I love her and would do absolutely anything for her. She is sincerely my dream girl in every way: she's beautiful, funny, a goof, smart, enjoys video games, and we have a common interest in theatre. The only thing is her and her whole family are devout Christians. Now, my family is mostly Catholic, and most of them aren't even aware of my views but that's another story. I've met her family on several occasions and let me tell you, her mom thinks ill of me. The rest of her family, if they think poorly of me, do not express it in my company. Anyways, back to my girl friend. We've only talked about religion and our differences several times and we plan to discuss it in greater depth tomorrow. Tomorrow being Friday, 8 May 2015. So far our differences has not interfered with our relationship but I want this to be THE relationship. I haven't had many real relationships before but I know this one is something I do not want to lose. I understand this situation may present issues down the road but I'm willing to face anything to make this work.
A few months ago, we talked on the phone on the subject (which in hindsight was the wrong medium to conduct this conversation - will only take place in person from now on). She mentioned to me that she was "confused" about her something with her religion. She said she felt like her relationship with God wasn't what it should be. I, being new to both atheism and relationships, got a little too excited hearing my girl friend say she might be questioning her religious beliefs. I don't need her to be like-minded in this way for me to love her or want to be with her, but needless to say (odd - I'm going to say it anyway), it would make things a hell of a lot easier. I started talking about what I believe and I think I came on a bit strong. She already knew I am an atheist but at the moment it seemed like I was trying to convert her. I admit, it definitely appeared that way, but in truth I was just excited and wanted to show her it isn't a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. I sent us spiraling backwards, away from any progress we may have been making in our ability to discuss our religious differences.
All of this to say: the time for me to once again take part in the discussion of differences with my significant other is on the horizon and frankly, I'm scared. Not terrified. But worried, at least. I don't want to start an argument with her but there is some serious ground both of us need to cover in explaining our beliefs or lack-there-of. I wanted to post this here for two reasons: 1) I wanted to get this off my chest and written down something fierce, and 2) I am seeking help/advice/wisdom from everyone here. I want this conversation and the relationship in its entirety to go smoothly. I don't want to lose the girl of my dreams over something as silly as this. I don't honestly think it will come to that but part of me is a little concerned of that possibility, no matter how minuscule it is.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! And don't hesitate to ask any questions if you feel I may have forgotten something or if you're curious!
Thanks!
-Wolf
During the course of the last few years I have become more and more sure of where I stand as far as my religious beliefs. What a swell time for this huge change in my life to occur because on top of that I have been dating this wonderful girl for a little over 8 months now. I love her and would do absolutely anything for her. She is sincerely my dream girl in every way: she's beautiful, funny, a goof, smart, enjoys video games, and we have a common interest in theatre. The only thing is her and her whole family are devout Christians. Now, my family is mostly Catholic, and most of them aren't even aware of my views but that's another story. I've met her family on several occasions and let me tell you, her mom thinks ill of me. The rest of her family, if they think poorly of me, do not express it in my company. Anyways, back to my girl friend. We've only talked about religion and our differences several times and we plan to discuss it in greater depth tomorrow. Tomorrow being Friday, 8 May 2015. So far our differences has not interfered with our relationship but I want this to be THE relationship. I haven't had many real relationships before but I know this one is something I do not want to lose. I understand this situation may present issues down the road but I'm willing to face anything to make this work.
A few months ago, we talked on the phone on the subject (which in hindsight was the wrong medium to conduct this conversation - will only take place in person from now on). She mentioned to me that she was "confused" about her something with her religion. She said she felt like her relationship with God wasn't what it should be. I, being new to both atheism and relationships, got a little too excited hearing my girl friend say she might be questioning her religious beliefs. I don't need her to be like-minded in this way for me to love her or want to be with her, but needless to say (odd - I'm going to say it anyway), it would make things a hell of a lot easier. I started talking about what I believe and I think I came on a bit strong. She already knew I am an atheist but at the moment it seemed like I was trying to convert her. I admit, it definitely appeared that way, but in truth I was just excited and wanted to show her it isn't a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. I sent us spiraling backwards, away from any progress we may have been making in our ability to discuss our religious differences.
All of this to say: the time for me to once again take part in the discussion of differences with my significant other is on the horizon and frankly, I'm scared. Not terrified. But worried, at least. I don't want to start an argument with her but there is some serious ground both of us need to cover in explaining our beliefs or lack-there-of. I wanted to post this here for two reasons: 1) I wanted to get this off my chest and written down something fierce, and 2) I am seeking help/advice/wisdom from everyone here. I want this conversation and the relationship in its entirety to go smoothly. I don't want to lose the girl of my dreams over something as silly as this. I don't honestly think it will come to that but part of me is a little concerned of that possibility, no matter how minuscule it is.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! And don't hesitate to ask any questions if you feel I may have forgotten something or if you're curious!
Thanks!
-Wolf
