The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[Edwardo Piet]

I'll put it in my trust to send you some urn scrapings.

...to be scattered in and around the UFO watchtower of Colorado.  


You’re cool with that, right?  


I would consider Arkansas’ Christ of the Ozarks an acceptable substitute.

I want my funeral to be video recorded, take place on Groundhog Day, and replayed over and over all day every Groundhog Day by all my family and friends for meta-ironic reasons. If they don't do that for me then they can't really have loved me!

The non-meta being the fact that I have often watched the movie Groundhog Day over and over on Groundhog Day, to amuse myself for ironic reasons. But I guess even that is somewhat meta, in the sense that it is self-referential... and clearly self-referential humor even when it's barely funny at all makes me laugh my man nipples off a lot more than it should.

P.S. Everyone must also fast for the day while watching my funeral on video form all day. To eat food is to break a sacred bond and to distract oneself from the extremely repetitive and loopy--and loopy in more ways than one--video of my funeral. Over and over and over. Harder and harder and harder. Hmm. Maybe I'm confusing sexual thoughts with myself being dead someday.... that's never a good thing.

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Get a room, you two!

Yeah! I'm here waiting in the hotel cupboard when the fuck are they gonna move in? I promise I won't peek.

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Just mutual admiration. I'm pretty sure she's young enough to be my daughter, or maybe even my granddaughter. I'm 65.

I’m turning 34 again this June! 😁

Wow so in June you are 68?!?!?!

Now we know I told you that you look freaking amazing but wow what did you look like 34 years ago when you were almost 34 for the first time at the age of almost 34?!