RE: I'm in Love with a Theist
May 8, 2015 at 8:37 am
(This post was last modified: May 8, 2015 at 8:46 am by Wolf Denn.)
(May 8, 2015 at 3:21 am)Alex K Wrote: How devout is the family? In case you one day have kids (I know at not even a year this is early, but it could e.g. happen sooner than planned by accident), do you have the feeling her parents will want to control how they are raised? How does her mom's dislike of you show?
It's a big part of their lives. They go to church every week, sometimes multiples times a week. I went to a Christmas party at their house and they ended up playing Bible Jeopardy, and actually enjoyed it.
She doesn't outright show disdain of me to my face, but they things she says to me girl friend make me feel like her mom is upset she is with me. And when I'm around she always seems to have an "attitude". Now, of course, this is part of her personality in the first place so maybe I am blowing things out of proportion. And I am dating her daughter so that works against me as well because I know sometimes parents are upset no matter who their daughter is dating.
Trust me, I have thought about her parents wanting to influence the way the child is raised. I've already told my girl friend that if/when that time comes both of our parents are going to stay out of it because it is OUR child. I would be hesitant to leave the child with her parents, only because I wouldn't want them attempting to brainwash the child.
(May 8, 2015 at 1:09 am)Minimalist Wrote:Quote: Well that's the thing. I've asked her and she says I come before God for her.
But do you believe her?
Quote: and frankly, I'm scared. Not terrified. But worried, at least. [ Your words from the OP]
And what happens when her whole family is pulling her in the other direction?
I was skeptical of it when she said it at first. But throughout our time together she has seemed to lose some of the vigor she may have once had about her religion. She has even skipped church a few times because of me. *gasp* I have since come to believe her when she says that because she really has given up a lot so far to be with me.
That's the only thing I'm worried about. I'm worried I may say or do something, pushing her away. So far it has actually been her family pushing her away, being so clingy and strict.
(May 8, 2015 at 3:23 am)Aroura Wrote: I was still Catholic when I met and married my husband, and he was an atheist even then. however, I was not a practicing Catholic, so that might have made a difference.
If she's not pushy about her religion, who cares? Wants you to get a church wedding but otherwise is unconcerned about you not going to church with her? Then I don't see the problem. If she was really devout, I imagine it would wear on you over time.
If her religiosity isn't enough to really bother you, then I think you will be fine. BUT, if it is bothering you now, think how you'll fell in 10 years and after you have kids and she wants to go brainwash them.
Whatever you decide, best wishes!
Perhaps "devout" is the wrong word. She hasn't been pushy about her religion - so far, so good there! I've attended church with her a few times but I've made sure that she knows I'm just there because I want to spend time with her and with my work schedule on Sundays I wouldn't usually get to see her otherwise.
Thanks, Aroura!
