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Noah's Ark
#51
RE: Noah's Ark
(March 16, 2012 at 7:58 am)average Wrote: Noah and his wife where the only two people to survive the floods....where did their descendants come from then?
Same with Adam and Eve. They had two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain slew Abel and went off to marry. Who did he marry?

More importantly, how do two people clean up millions of piles of shit a day?
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#52
RE: Noah's Ark
(March 16, 2012 at 7:58 am)average Wrote: Noah and his wife where the only two people to survive the floods

I thought it was Noah and his family Thinking

Quote:where did their descendants come from then?

Silly you! They shagged each other obviously!

Quote:Same with Adam and Eve. They had two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain slew Abel and went off to marry. Who did he marry?

Oh well come on, god obviously populated the earth by that point. You're supposed to read between the lines for that part you big dummy Wink
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#53
RE: Noah's Ark
(March 16, 2012 at 7:53 am)Napoleon Wrote:
(March 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm)Saved Wrote: Here you go. Absolute proof.

http://www.proofthatgodexists.org/welcome.php

Took me like an hour but I finally managed to be sieved into the direction which that retarded ass site wanted me to go. Just for the lulz I agreed with what it wanted me to.

So step 8...

The proof of god!


Anyone want to know what this site says is the ultimate proof of god? (and what this religious fucktard saved seems to think is so great)


I am stumped I really am:

"The Proof that God exists is that without Him you couldn't prove anything"



Bwahahahaha!!!

Yes, the old "god exists because of absolute morality"
Which fails big time because morality is a very subjective human value.
[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
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#54
RE: Noah's Ark
(March 16, 2012 at 8:08 am)Zen Badger Wrote: Yes, the old "god exists because of absolute morality"
Which fails big time because morality is a very subjective human value.

I got stuck on the 'absolute morality' step for a very long time :/
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#55
RE: Noah's Ark
Quote:"Point out that to get two of each kind of animal from every part of the world may not be so unbelievable because of the size of the world at the time. The theory of Pangaea (which basically states that the continents were all connected forming one big "supercontinent") is probably true. Before Noah's flood, all of the land masses on earth were all joined to form one continent. This would eliminate the idea that animals would have to cross oceans to reach the ark."

Even better is their parting advice...

Quote:Point out that doubting God's word shows a lack of faith. While He may not have left much proof of the flood on earth, this is no reason to turn our backs on God and doubt the one thing which is The Truth.

Translation: Just don't think about it too hard, and submit your intellectual curiosity to whatever the bible spews as truth.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#56
RE: Noah's Ark
Oh the irony of stating the theory of Pangaea is probably true, despite the fact in order to be true, would be 200-300 million years ago.

Ow... ow.. my sides hurt...
Self-authenticating private evidence is useless, because it is indistinguishable from the illusion of it. ― Kel, Kelosophy Blog

If you’re going to watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo. That show was so cool because every time there’s a church with a ghoul, or a ghost in a school. They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
The f**king janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide. Throughout history every mystery. Ever solved has turned out to be. Not Magic.
― Tim Minchin, Storm
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#57
RE: Noah's Ark
Did you ever wonder how we got tectonic plates?

Quote:4Point out that the story of Noah's flood explains the origin of tectonic plates. "In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened." (Genesis 7:11 KJV) The "fountains of the great deep" refers to the water beneath the crust of the earth. The LORD caused these waters to burst forth from underneath, cracking and breaking the earth's crust and creating the tectonic plates. Thus, after the flood, the continents separated and all the animals of the earth were divided. Then, as climates changed due to the new location of the continents, the animals changed to adapt.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#58
RE: Noah's Ark
(March 16, 2012 at 8:27 am)Faith No More Wrote: Did you ever wonder how we got tectonic plates?

Quote:4Point out that the story of Noah's flood explains the origin of tectonic plates. "In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened." (Genesis 7:11 KJV) The "fountains of the great deep" refers to the water beneath the crust of the earth. The LORD caused these waters to burst forth from underneath, cracking and breaking the earth's crust and creating the tectonic plates. Thus, after the flood, the continents separated and all the animals of the earth were divided. Then, as climates changed due to the new location of the continents, the animals changed to adapt.

They just have no fucking clue of the vast amounts of energy it would've taken to propel the continents around at hundreds of miles an hour.

Sufficient to boil the oceans away completely and scorch the planet for perpetuity.

Clueless idiots the lot of them.
[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
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#59
RE: Noah's Ark
Yes, but you're forgetting about the protective blanket of magic that the lord placed over the earth while he was busy destroying it, same for the whole "stopping the sun in the sky" bit, the real miracle lay elsewhere..lol. These narratives are actually chock full of "unconsidered miracles", and that's mostly because the authors had literally no fucking clue what was going on around them (thus the need for the myths as explanations to begin with).
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#60
RE: Noah's Ark
I know it is redundant to the well informed, but to me it is a whole new story, and it answered a lot of doubts. The truth should be repeated until the lies are shattered.
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