I'm a little confused as I am not sure what it is you want to hear. For that matter I'm not real sure what the question even is.
It sounds like you want to believe in a god, but refuse to let go of the logic that keeps you from doing so. Understandable.
The only thing I can tell you for sure is that if you want to believe in a god (ANY god) you're going to have to suspend your devotion to logic and reason. I know I know - it sucks, but the truth is you're never going to find evidence of god, at least not in any scientific sense, and your only option is going to be to accept it on faith. As a deist, I can only offer you this advice: stop looking for evidence and/or trying to defend your position. Belief in god is not defensible - even if he's not tied to any religion. Unless I misunderstood your OP, you seem to be looking for some "sweet spot," some way around the inevitable paradox of being a rational person who believes in god. There isn't one, and no matter how much you redefine your particular "god," you're never going to con your own mind out of its logical conclusions.
You want to believe in god, fine. Decide his/her/it's parameters, accept it as your unproven belief and move on. It's far more honest to just say you believe in whatever god you choose rather than trying to fit him into some sort of convoluted philosophical rationalization in your logical mind.
just my 2 cents.
It sounds like you want to believe in a god, but refuse to let go of the logic that keeps you from doing so. Understandable.
The only thing I can tell you for sure is that if you want to believe in a god (ANY god) you're going to have to suspend your devotion to logic and reason. I know I know - it sucks, but the truth is you're never going to find evidence of god, at least not in any scientific sense, and your only option is going to be to accept it on faith. As a deist, I can only offer you this advice: stop looking for evidence and/or trying to defend your position. Belief in god is not defensible - even if he's not tied to any religion. Unless I misunderstood your OP, you seem to be looking for some "sweet spot," some way around the inevitable paradox of being a rational person who believes in god. There isn't one, and no matter how much you redefine your particular "god," you're never going to con your own mind out of its logical conclusions.
You want to believe in god, fine. Decide his/her/it's parameters, accept it as your unproven belief and move on. It's far more honest to just say you believe in whatever god you choose rather than trying to fit him into some sort of convoluted philosophical rationalization in your logical mind.
just my 2 cents.