joke time

[ignoramus]

Never trust an atom.
They make up everything!

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

What is a physicist’s favourite meal?

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Fission chips.

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Boru

[polymath257]

What is a physicist’s favourite meal?

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Fission chips.

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Boru

And I thought it would be some form of new-age fusion.

[Fireball]

I used to order the "nuclear lunch" at the fish and chips place near my work place. My friends would always roll their eyes when I asked for it.

[Brian37]

Never trust an atom.
They make up everything!

I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Undertakers always have a problem with chemists, because they don't know how to Barium.

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Why do they call it a periodic table? What if you want an island?

[Darinda]

A French, a German, and an Italian spy are captured one day.

The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair. They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions, and gives up all of his secrets.

The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know.

They then grabbed the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.4 hours go by and the spy isn’t talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.

The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk.

The Italian spy says, ” I wanted to, but I couldn’t move my hands.”

[ignoramus]

[Darinda]

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks “If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?”

The bartender thinks for a minute and then says “It would to be something spectacular to take that offer.” The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, whom is only 1 foot tall, and beside him a little piano. The piano man starts playing classical music like Beethoven and Chopin.

Once he finishes, the bartender is in utter disbelief. He tells the man “You can have free drinks for the rest of the night, but only if you tell where you got this.” The man says “In the alley way behind your bar, there is a Genie who is granting free wishes to everyone who wants them.” Elated, the bartender heads behind his bar to see if it was true.


A few minutes passed and out of the alleyway erupts a cacophony of quacking. The bartender rushes back into the bar and shuts his door against a wave of thousands of ducks. He manages to secure the door and says to the man “I think that the Genie is hard of hearing, because after I asked for a million bucks, these ducks appeared by the thousands.” The man chuckles and says “Did you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?”

[The Valkyrie]

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She made gagging noises.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She made gagging noises.

Brings a whole new meaning to the song, ‘Someday My Prince Will Come’ (and yes  - I know that’s from a different film. Leave me alone).

Boru