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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
The Valkyrie Online
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#6051
RE: joke time
July 15, 2022 at 11:10 pm
I accidentally broke 2 Queen CDs today.

Now I want to break three.
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The Valkyrie Online
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#6052
RE: joke time
July 19, 2022 at 5:30 pm
I serviced my car yesterday.

I couldn't get the brakes to work so I made the horn louder.
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onlinebiker Offline
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#6053
RE: joke time
July 19, 2022 at 5:33 pm
My car - the horn is broken.


Watch for middle finger...
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The Valkyrie Online
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#6054
RE: joke time
July 21, 2022 at 2:36 am
If a drummer comes out of retirement will there be repercussions?
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Darinda Offline
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#6055
RE: joke time
July 21, 2022 at 9:08 am
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best lay in town!”

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just screwed your mom, and it was sweet!”
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom liked it!”

Finally the guy interrupts. “Go home, Dad. You’re drunk!”
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6056
RE: joke time
July 24, 2022 at 4:50 am
No one wants to listen to Whitesnake with me anymore, so here I go again on my own.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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The Valkyrie Online
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#6057
RE: joke time
July 24, 2022 at 3:18 pm
I visited a friend over the weekend.

They told me to make myself at home.

So I got a beer from their fridge, rearranged the furniture, and yelled at their kids.
Dying to live, living to die.
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The Valkyrie Online
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#6058
RE: joke time
July 24, 2022 at 3:27 pm (This post was last modified: July 24, 2022 at 3:33 pm by The Valkyrie.)
A little girl leaves school and is walking home when a car pulls up next to her.

"Would you like a ride?, asks the driver.

"Nope!" replies the little girl and keeps walking.

The car pulls away, goes around the block, and pulls up next to her again. This time the driver opens the door.

"Are you sure you don't want a ride?", he asks.

"Nope!", she says, and keeps walking.

Again, the car pulls away, drives around the block, and pulls up next to her.

"I'll give you a sweety if you get in!", says the driver with a wink.

The little girl stops, turns to the driver and says, "Look, Dad. You bought the LADA, you ride in the bloody thing!"
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6059
RE: joke time
July 24, 2022 at 4:25 pm
I was applying for Australian citizenship. The interviewer asked, ‘Do you have a criminal record?’ I said, ‘No - is that still required?’

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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The Valkyrie Online
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#6060
RE: joke time
July 25, 2022 at 8:54 am
Him, "If I leave you for another woman, would you feel sorry?"

Me, "I don't even know her. Why would I feel sorry for her?"
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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