Atheism and Small Towns

[Vox Populi]

As some of you have seen by my "Intro" post, I recently moved to a Small Christian/Mormon Community in Idaho. I am looking for some advice from people from or those who live in small towns (or those who have any ideas.. all are welcome)

Here its very strange, coming from the city anyways. No McDonalds (within 2 hour drive) or Wally-World or any of those stores. For those who didn't see my original posts... There was a women on her knee's when I moved in blessing my apartment (). I of course not mentioning anything about who I am (gay and Atheist) have fell into a trap. When they started inviting me to church's; I was kind and declined. My neighbor started asking me to pray for her and I just stayed silent while smoking. Things got intense and I NEVER had to put up so many privacy settings on my Facebook but before you know it, I was starting to get some weird looks and comments. This was before I realized how many people can look at things on your Facebook even if there not friends. I have had this guy name "Tom" keep sending me personal letters asking me to come to his church. I put "RTS" (return to sender) after writing him a letter mentioning nicely that I wasn't interested and that I was only a temporary resident. I have only had to "RTS" his letters twice sense October and they have long sense stopped (2 month ago).

By this time the whole town knew (its less then 2000 here) and I was out about to do my wash and these women in the laundry room (before I stepped in) started saying "We can vote him off the island, we have Christian moral values and we don't want a non-believing pervert here") I took offense and walked straight in and gave them a great big nice greeting. They of course instantly turn all nice. I then contacted my landlord and he said "We can only evict you if we have a good cause." I am concerned though cause he owns most of the town (and the only 2 apartment complexes).. Is there any legal protection for this?

The police here have been SO FAR very nice when I do my early morning walk to the 24/7 gas station. They stop almost everyone.

I have never lived in a small town and thankfully i work from home and go to the store in the early morning when they open (still a drag) but it makes it very tough. I have made arrangements in October (when the lease is up) to head to Fresno,California but have a great apartment history and don't want to ruin it by just bailing.

So the whole point of this post is I would like any form of tips,advice,suggestions. They are greatly appreciated!

-Andrew

[Strider]

I'm a fellow small town dweller. People here are insanely religious, but I've never had any issues with people singling me out. However, I am not open with my atheism and I do not have a Facebook account. Even if I did have a Facebook account and I made posts related to atheism and such, I doubt it would really get around town or anything. I've also had people invite me to church, and I have always politely declined. I've only been pressed on the subject once and the conversation went like this:

Guy: "You know you and your wife are welcome at our church anytime. Why don't y'all visit us this Sunday?"

Me: "Thank you for the offer, but I'm good."

Guy: "Is there a reason why you don't go to church?"

Me: "Well, I don't want to."

That was the end of that. Of course, you have the added issue of being gay in a small town. In some ways, I can imagine that as being worse than being an open atheist. Honestly, I believe that might be more of the issue than anything else. I have no meaningful advice other than to ride out the rough time and then get out as fast as you're able. Small towns are going to be small towns. They have very few redeeming features, at least from my perspective of always living in one. If you really just can't handle it, bail on your lease, pay the early termination fee or whatever, and leave. Having a stellar rental history isn't worth dealing with half of year of small town bullshit if you don't want to.

[Norman Humann]

Oh man. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that crap. Sounds terrible.

In my personal experience, it's best to try and avoid the sensitive topics and remain polite as ling as they're not being openly aggressive. Don't cause conflicts, let them get to know you and they may gradually start seeing you in a better light. Given time, maybe they'll move past the stereotypes and prejudice.

I know how it is to have to deal with people like that. You kind of have to keep quiet until they accept you, if they're capable of that. I recommend you maintain contact with sane people online, it helps me a lot.

Good luck and hang in there!

[Vox Populi]

Thanks :-) I really didn't expect anything like Facebook stalking. It was that, that caused all the up-rift. I wish I would of thought about it before I left the city. It's just not something you really think about.

That was the end of that. Of course, you have the added issue of being gay in a small town. In some ways, I can imagine that as being worse than being an open atheist. Honestly, I believe that might be more of the issue than anything else.

Honestly, its not the gay thing at all. I mean in some sort it is. There is much intolerance but I can close the door and be happy. I have had a few comments (under people's breath) but for the most part it isn't an issue. Of course it's unlike the city where you can put a rainbow flag on that back of your car or tell people "Hey, I'm gay man, thanks for trying to hook me up with you Sis/Cousin/daughter twice removed. It's something I keep private but man you hit any of my social media all your going to see is 1.Liberal Politics 2.Atheism and Science related material 3.Gay things (friends that were also partnered or an issue related to something. Perhaps, I should of more thought out things before coming... Mostly I fear vandalism...

In my personal experience, it's best to try and avoid the sensitive topics and remain polite as ling as they're not being openly aggressive. Don't cause conflicts, let them get to know you and they may gradually start seeing you in a better light. Given time, maybe they'll move past the stereotypes and prejudice.

Yeah, that isn't so hard the only time I have breached that line is when I talk to a friend on the phone off my balcony, its right below a small-town restaurant and my voice may carry a bit.

Thanks again everyone!

[Minimalist]

There was a women on her knee's when I moved in

Under different circumstances that could be one hell of a Welcome Wagon!

[Spooky]

There was a women on her knee's when I moved in

Under different circumstances that could be one hell of a Welcome Wagon!

Quite true.


Hopefully OP gets out of there soon. It will probably only get worse.

[Vox Populi]

There was a women on her knee's when I moved in

Under different circumstances that could be one hell of a Welcome Wagon!

I probably just woke up my whole apartment complex laughing that is awesome!!

[wiploc]

... have a great apartment history and don't want to ruin it by just bailing.

You could ask your landlord about this. How can you leave and still get a good reference?

[CapnAwesome]

If I'm inviting to church by someone and I don't feel like getting into a theological debate or defending my position I just say "No thanks, I'm not religious" rather than saying the big scary Atheist word. That normally does it. A note about Mormons: it's pretty unlikely that you'll get a negative reaction from Mormons for being an Atheist. I've lived in Utah extensively as an open Atheist and my closest friend's family is Mormon and the Mormons that I know have often gotten more friendly when they discover your unbelief. Proselytizing is such an essential part of the Mormon religion that being an Atheist you are the perfect person to convince, so bringing up Atheism will probably just make them more interested and perhaps more bothersome (as seems to be the case for you). I'd be surprised if you . I can't really think of a time when I've encountered hostility from Mormons. As long as things are good with your landlord and the police (and you certainly can't be evicted for being gay or an Atheist) then it doesn't seem to be much of a problem. Also every small town has non-believers or alternative types. Every small Mormon town I've been to (many) has a liquor store in it somewhere.

[AFTT47]

Laws protecting renters are pretty strong - at least everywhere I have been. My most recent landlord in Florida told me it takes a minimum of 3 months to force a tenant out - even if they are not paying the rent. You say you work at home so you shouldn't have anything to worry about anyway.

I can't see people making a big stink if they know you are a temporary resident. Drop hints about your impending move and I would expect they'll leave you alone.