Posts: 44115
Threads: 530
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Atheist house rules?
June 27, 2015 at 6:12 am
Dunno if these are specific to atheism, but some of the rules that apply in our house are:
-Do NOT move the cat so you can sit down. Find another spot.
-Waking Ellen up unnecessarily is not a capital offense, but it may merit bastinado.
-Leave it like you found it (toilet seats, doors, the kitchen).
-Shouting back at the telly or the radio is acceptable for news programming ONLY.
-Never answer a call from an unknown number after 10:00 pm. Nothing good will come of it.
-Refill the paper (bog rolls, printers, paper towel dispenser).
-Don't leave leftovers in the fridge so long that you can't tell if they're meat, veg, or custard.
-No shoes in the house. Only barbarians wear shoes indoors.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 862
Threads: 51
Joined: May 14, 2014
Reputation:
11
RE: Atheist house rules?
June 27, 2015 at 7:05 am
(This post was last modified: June 27, 2015 at 7:06 am by TubbyTubby.)
(June 26, 2015 at 10:23 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: My house rules?
Don't be a dick.
Make yourself at home. There's beer and weed, help yourself, but don't be greedy.
Don't harsh my mellow.
No really, don't be a dick.
Welp, that about sums it up.
I like almost all of the rules so far, I could live with these ones happily.
Another entry from the xtians..
" I remember staying with two christian families on my wwoofing travels.
One had rules, the other didnt really.
I remember both dads always said grace at the table and all took the family to church and had bible studies.
The one that had rules had..
1. Ready for Breakfast at 8
2. Wear Modest clothing
3. Cant enter the house while children being homeschooled
4. No internet, and no tv, the children could only watch christian programs or dvds"
They know how to let kids have fun don't they. Number 4 is just sick, basically could be written as children must be isolated from the modern world. Wankers.
Edit : What the fuck is wwoofing travels?
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation:
73
RE: Atheist house rules?
June 27, 2015 at 7:59 am
(June 27, 2015 at 7:05 am)TubbyTubby Wrote: 1. Ready for Breakfast at 8
2. Wear Modest clothing
3. Cant enter the house while children being homeschooled
4. No internet, and no tv, the children could only watch christian programs or dvds"
#4 can be translated into 'mandatory 24/7 brainwashing'
I don't really have rules 
Just don't be a dickcheese and we'll get along
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: Atheist house rules?
June 27, 2015 at 9:24 am
I'm as lax as ever, but the wife is full on gestapo!
Don't do this, don't put this there, hang your clothes up ................now!
She does do most of the work around the house though. So putting up with it is a small price to pay.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 4196
Threads: 60
Joined: September 8, 2011
Reputation:
30
RE: Atheist house rules?
June 27, 2015 at 9:34 am
OUR HOUSE RULES
If you open it,
Close it!
If you empty it,
Fill it back up!
If you eat out of it,
Wash it!
If you Step on it,
Wipe it off!
If you mess it up!
Clean it up!
If you sleep on it,
Make it up!
If you wear it,
Hang it up!
If you drop it,
Pick it up!
If it howls,
Feed it!
If it cries,
Love it!
If you drop it,
Pick it up!
If you found it,
Don’t leave it!
If you leave it,
Pick it back up!
If you need it,
Ask for it!
If you borrow it,
Return it!
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders
Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
Posts: 18544
Threads: 145
Joined: March 18, 2015
Reputation:
100
RE: Atheist house rules?
July 2, 2015 at 1:50 am
I have four kids (two of them are step kids) and a man... here are my house rules...
When kids are here:
If you can't get along, I'm threatening to run away.
If you argue with each other, I'm actually running away.
If you go from 13 years old to 5 years old, I'm not coming back.
You all are 11, 12, 13 and 19. Work your own shit out.
You want something go ask your dad/Rob (for my kids) and leave me out of it.
I will go on strike. I've done it before. Read the post it notes scattered around the walls of the house. They are there for YOUR protection and MY sanity.
IF I HAVE TO YELL... you all are going to have one miserable summer.
So far, the 13 year old is going to have a miserable summer.
When the kids are NOT here AND I NEED THE CAR:
3am - Wake grumpy up.
3:30 - take grumpy to work. Stop by Rutter's for coffee.
4am - come home. Debate going back to sleep. Fuck it. Get on Facebook instead, while lying in bed for the next three hours.
7am - kick one cat off my pillow, remove the lump (second cat) out from under my covers. Yeah she burrows. So what. And try not to trip over the third cat while on my way to the bathroom.
8am - back on facebook. Figure out what to do with my day. Oh yeah.. I needed the damn car. Okay - run needless errands. Go to appointments. Blah blah blah.
3:30pm - pick up grumpy from work.
4pm - bitch about having to make dinner. Call for pizza.
4:30pm to 2am - sit on couch, watch tv, play on laptop.
When the kids are NOT here and I DON'T need the car:
2am - maybe go to bed.
3am - grumpy wakes his own ass up for work.
3am - 11am - SLEEP with three cats whoring my bed. Fuckers.
11am - whenever... do absolutely as little as humanly possible.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Yep.. that about sums up my life.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work. If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now. Yes, I DO want fries with that.
|
