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Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 4:36 pm
(This post was last modified: July 27, 2016 at 4:37 pm by kikiwallflower.)
Hello, I am almost 19 years old, living in a christian household. My parents are very active in the church, I have not been going recently and my parents haven't mentioned it. They usually just let me sleep cause I was at work late, etc. I am going on a month long trip with my boyfriend in November and immediately after we will be moving into an apartment together. I am finically independent besides my cell phone, and living in their home. None of my brothers and I actively show interest in church or the bible but they still assume we believe in god.
I do not know how and when to tell them I am no longer a believer. I have to tell them because they are so against sex before marriage and cohabitation that they need to know I don't think its wrong because I am an athiest. They are super close minded and will be very angry and sad and there will be lots of arguing. Does anyone have any advice or been in a similar situation?
Thank you!
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RE: Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 4:47 pm
Let sleeping dogs lie.
If they aren't breaking your balls about it there is no need to break theirs.
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RE: Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 4:48 pm
I haven't been, sorry.
All I can say is you're an adult so don't fall for any emotional blackmail or special pleading.
Be strong and live your own life.
Good luck.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 4:58 pm
(This post was last modified: July 27, 2016 at 4:58 pm by brewer.)
There are some theists that don't think it's wrong either.
Let them broach of the subject first. Just be prepared.
Edit: Welcome! Tell us more about you.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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RE: Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 4:59 pm
Maybe not come out as such but not hide anything either. Coming out makes it a big thing which communicates to them that you are still unsure about it. Being nonchalent and confident without stating anything explicit unless they ask you directly communicates to them that it's not a big deal. Of course they will try to make it a big deal but you don't have to let them.
Move in with your boyfriend and when they press their concerns, the onus is on them to justify why they think it's an issue. If you come out to them then the onus is on you to justify your non-belief.
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RE: Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 5:34 pm
(This post was last modified: July 27, 2016 at 5:35 pm by Alex K.)
I don't understand your rationale. You think they will feel better about your premarital sex if you tell them that you're not a believer any longer, too?! How is that supposed to help?
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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RE: Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 6:33 pm
(This post was last modified: July 27, 2016 at 6:33 pm by Whateverist.)
A different tack, though I mostly agree with Min here. You could turn the tables on them.
Tell them you wanted to assure them that you still love them and aren't angry about being recruited to their religion. Tell them you want them to know you respect their beliefs and don't find them quaint. They just aren't yours. Period.
Make it about assuring them that you're not melting down about it. That they would isn't even a question in your mind.
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RE: Telling my parents
July 27, 2016 at 8:44 pm
(This post was last modified: July 27, 2016 at 8:45 pm by ignoramus.)
Welcome matey...
Still not sure if gay or not.
Coming out with that will make the other stuff fall into place.
If straight, tell them, do they want to gain a son in law or lose a daughter?
My parents decided to lose their son because I didn't marry a stupid greek!
Just because they are your parents does not mean that they are not selfish and/or superficial people.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
