Seeing as elections are coming up in America, I am wondering if Jesus ran for President of the USA, would he actually win?

There are a lot of people who claim Jesus is the most important person, but is he good enough to be LORD yet not worthy of being President?

"Love your enemies"
"Render unto Caesar"

That will go over well...

That jesus couldn't get elected dog catcher.

This is the jesus they want....






Armaments sold separately*

Is Jesus a Libertarian or a Republican? Cause I'm guessin he's not running as a Democratic nominee.


Doesn't matter - you need money to run for president, and even the christians admit that dude don't ever have any money.

(May 20, 2011 at 1:58 am)FadingW Wrote: Seeing as elections are coming up in America, I am wondering if Jesus ran for President of the USA, would he actually win?

There are a lot of people who claim Jesus is the most important person, but is he good enough to be LORD yet not worthy of being President?

"Love your enemies"
"Render unto Caesar"

That will go over well...

He'd be metaphorically crucified by Karl Rove's attack ads branding him as a socialist, pacifist, "far left" extremist.

Unfortunately, Jesus wouldn't be able to produce a long-form birth certificate to prove that he's eligible. But somehow I doubt the birthers would care. See how much of an about-face they'd do if Jesus really did try to run for president.

But they wouldn't want the real anti-rich, pro-poor socialist Jesus, anyway, they'd want Republican Jesus:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Republican_Jesus

(May 20, 2011 at 2:54 am)Cinjin Cain Wrote: Is Jesus a Libertarian or a Republican? Cause I'm guessin he's not running as a Democratic nominee.


Doesn't matter - you need money to run for president, and even the christians admit that dude don't ever have any money.

Well going by the bible I'd put him in the social anarchist camp....

...Is Noam Chomsky Jesus?

Nope...wrong again, Void.

The republicolibertarianazis say otherwise.


http://www.raptureready.com/republican.html

Quote:until the Lord Jesus comes for His Church in the rapture -- presuming both major political parties in America continue to hold to their present party lines -- it is the view of Rapture Ready that Republican values are America's best political option.

Fuck the poor and bless the rich. Apparently these dickwads knew what 'jesus' wanted better than he did himself!

Quote:Jesus would never endorse or be a member of any party whose platform supports abortion, gay rights, and a general hostility to Bible-believing Christians.

With a majority of Democrats being Christians, why would they adopt a platform which is hostile to Christians? Oh, right. "Bible-believing" in this instance means, "only us real, true Christians who hate gays, abortion, and are sitting around waiting for the rapture."

Quote:The Democrat Party would never have Jesus as a member.

I don't know of any political party anywhere which would turn away members.

Quote:This party champions taking ever-increasing tax money from the pockets of those who work to give to those who won't work

And this goes against what Jesus said how exactly?

Quote:The Democratic Party continues to be led by those who believe pacifism is the easiest pathway to world peace.

Because Jesus was all for kicking the shit out of people.

Quote:The Grand Old Party may share many values that can be traced back to the Bible, but it is still the GOP, not the GOD party.

You apparently haven't taken a very close look at the GOP lately. They seem to think that GOP stands for "God's Own Party."

Quote:That said, humanism remains at the core of the GOP's, or any party's, attempts to rule. This means that it, like its Democratic counterpart, is fatally flawed.

Because being a humanitarian, or even humane, is evil and not at all what God or Jesus ever wanted.

He would be assassinated right after he's elected.