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The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 11:21 am
Sorry if this has been posted before but I just came across it and thought I would share it with you. I have triple-checked and the quote is correct.
2 Kings 19:35
King James Version (KJV)
35 And it came to passe that night, that the Angel of the LORD went out, and smote in the campe of the Assyrians, an hundred foure score and five thousand: and when they arose earely in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses.
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 11:49 am
Don't forget Jesus.
Quote:"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. "
Martin Luther King, Jr.
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Backing up this claim with Young's
"And it cometh to pass, in that night, that a messenger of Jehovah goeth out, and smiteth in the camp of Asshur a hundred eighty and five thousand, and they rise early in the morning, and lo, all of them [are] dead corpses."
Translations count as separate examples of evidence do they not? especially when they agree with each other. Zombies are internally consistent across many translations. This could not have happened by any way other the the factual reality of zombies.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 1:21 pm
The issue would be rather easily settled in looking at the Greek text, wherein, I would expect, the use of intensifying and reflexive pronouns would disambiguate the dead from the living.
I hate that I had to say that, but I'm a language teacher, and sloppy translations piss me off. Christians are particularly good at sloppy translations, by the by.
Trying to update my sig ...
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 1:37 pm
(July 22, 2011 at 11:49 am)HeyItsZeus Wrote: Don't forget Jesus.
![[Image: zombiejesus3eu.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=img57.exs.cx%2Fimg57%2F7824%2Fzombiejesus3eu.jpg)
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 2:46 pm
I'd die happy if Capcom had the balls to make a Resident Evil game based on the Plot-Holie Bible.
http://youtu.be/X2LcJDnEOww
Aww man, watching the old trailers I can sorta imagine the possibilities. 
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 8:10 pm
(This post was last modified: July 22, 2011 at 8:12 pm by Justtristo.)
(July 22, 2011 at 12:29 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Backing up this claim with Young's
"And it cometh to pass, in that night, that a messenger of Jehovah goeth out, and smiteth in the camp of Asshur a hundred eighty and five thousand, and they rise early in the morning, and lo, all of them [are] dead corpses."
Translations count as separate examples of evidence do they not? especially when they agree with each other. Zombies are internally consistent across many translations. This could not have happened by any way other the the factual reality of zombies.
I checked the passage in both the ESV and the Amplified Bible and it essentially said when the Israelites woke up in the morning, all 185,000 in the Assyrian army were dead. Although in the Gospel of Matthew when Jesus was dying on the cross, a whole bunch of people who been laying in tombs for varying periods of time were resurrected from the dead.
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm
I like this site because it provides multiple translations of the same verse.
http://bible.cc/2_kings/19-35.htm
As usual, the KJV is about the worst of the lot.
Curious about this of course is that the Assyrians would be so stupid as to send 185,000 men to attack a shithole of a town with a total population of about 10,000 at Hezekiah's time.
The Assyrian version of events is that after crushing Hezekiah's kingdom and reducing the majority of its towns to rubble the Assyrians turned on Jerusalem and allowed him to surrender, pay tribute, and be restored to the position of vassal of Assyria. Much of the territories overrun were detached from Hezekiah as punishment. Somehow, this seems more reasonable than the bible horseshit and is supported by archaeological evidence....unlike the fucking bible.
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm
(This post was last modified: July 22, 2011 at 9:21 pm by Justtristo.)
(July 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm)Minimalist Wrote: I like this site because it provides multiple translations of the same verse.
http://bible.cc/2_kings/19-35.htm
As usual, the KJV is about the worst of the lot.
Curious about this of course is that the Assyrians would be so stupid as to send 185,000 men to attack a shithole of a town with a total population of about 10,000 at Hezekiah's time.
The Assyrian version of events is that after crushing Hezekiah's kingdom and reducing the majority of its towns to rubble the Assyrians turned on Jerusalem and allowed him to surrender, pay tribute, and be restored to the position of vassal of Assyria. Much of the territories overrun were detached from Hezekiah as punishment. Somehow, this seems more reasonable than the bible horseshit and is supported by archaeological evidence....unlike the fucking bible.
Yeah the Book of Kings is by no means an accurate account of the events that happened, even compared to works of the same period which were considered real history by historians. Any good historian knows even in stuff like Tacitus Annals or Josephus The Jewish Wars, there is a bias that needs to be accounted for. So historians take that bias into account and match if possible the events described in one work, with other works which describe the same event, which you have done here.
(July 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm)Minimalist Wrote: As usual, the KJV is about the worst of the lot.
That is why I dont use the KJV apart from the archaic language, Why Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens prefer the KJV over more modern, accurate translation is beyond me. Considering that if more people read the bible in a modern language, it would make a of people stop considering themselves Christian.
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RE: The Bible proves zombies
July 22, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Quote:Why Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens prefer the KJV over more modern, accurate translation is beyond me
Because fundies prefer it and really hate it when Hitch and Dawkins shove their own book up their asses.
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