Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: March 28, 2024, 9:07 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
cute
#11
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm)Brian37 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 6:52 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A baby Harp seal galumphs into a bar.  The barman says, 'What'll you have?' and the seal says, 'Anything but a Canadian club.'

Boru

Seal walks into a bar, Bartender asks, "Would you like to try our special?"

Seal aks, "What is that?"

Bartender, "Club Sandwich."

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
#12
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Seal walks into a bar, Bartender asks, "Would you like to try our special?"

Seal aks, "What is that?"

Bartender, "Club Sandwich."

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru

How did I ruin that joke? I if I were a seal I wouldn't want someone offering me a club sandwich.

You like being beaten to death with a club? I don't know about you, but that hardly sounds like fun.
Reply
#13
RE: cute
Is it true that the musician Seal never returned from a Canadian tour?
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply
#14
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 5:21 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: [Image: 05-baby-seal.w700.h700.jpg]

Boru

It works best as a one liner : "A baby seal walks into a club...." Rim shot.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






Reply
#15
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Seal walks into a bar, Bartender asks, "Would you like to try our special?"

Seal aks, "What is that?"

Bartender, "Club Sandwich."

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru

Not enough lines.

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Bartender, "I'm so sorry sir, I did not mean any offence."

Seal, "That's ok buddy, everyone makes mistakes."

Bartender, "Can I buy you a drink later after I knock off?"

Seal, "Sure."




Reply
#16
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:53 pm)Brian37 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru

How did I ruin that joke? I if I were a seal I wouldn't want someone offering me a club sandwich.

You like being beaten to death with a club? I don't know about you, but that hardly sounds like fun.

You ruined it because 'Club sandwich' is the punchline.  Traditionally, this is where jokes are meant to stop.  It's actually a pretty good joke, you just told it badly.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
#17
RE: cute
(October 9, 2019 at 5:42 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:53 pm)Brian37 Wrote: How did I ruin that joke? I if I were a seal I wouldn't want someone offering me a club sandwich.

You like being beaten to death with a club? I don't know about you, but that hardly sounds like fun.

You ruined it because 'Club sandwich' is the punchline.  Traditionally, this is where jokes are meant to stop.  It's actually a pretty good joke, you just told it badly.

Boru

You'll have him blubbering in a minute.
Reply
#18
RE: cute
(October 9, 2019 at 4:17 pm)Cod Wrote:
(October 9, 2019 at 5:42 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: You ruined it because 'Club sandwich' is the punchline.  Traditionally, this is where jokes are meant to stop.  It's actually a pretty good joke, you just told it badly.

Boru

You'll have him blubbering in a minute.

Well, ya know, you have to overexplain everything - especially jokes and pop culture references.
  
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
                                      
Reply
#19
RE: cute
This littlun's also off the cute meter:

[Image: superthumb.jpg?t=1464580554]

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
#20
RE: cute
A duck walks into a bar and asks for a pint of Guinness and the landlord says 'wow a talking duck you could make a fortune in the circus'.

A circus, isn't that a big round thing made of sail cloth and sawdust on the floor?

Yes that's correct.

Then why the fuck would they need a plasterer?
It's amazing 'science' always seems to 'find' whatever it is funded for, and never the oppsite. Drich.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  cute baby snakes <3 WinterHold 13 1179 August 14, 2020 at 7:10 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Cute 4 WinterHold 40 2408 November 27, 2019 at 5:17 pm
Last Post: ThinkingIsThinking
  cute 3 WinterHold 2 339 November 20, 2019 at 3:30 pm
Last Post: WinterHold
  cute 2 WinterHold 10 1851 November 4, 2019 at 5:50 pm
Last Post: Abaddon_ire
  Cute video. Jehanne 1 502 October 22, 2016 at 9:27 am
Last Post: account_inactive
  Day 237 on the Cute Side of YouTube abentwookie 1 1035 March 24, 2015 at 6:43 pm
Last Post: Alex K
  Dan Dennett: Cute, sexy, sweet, funny. leo-rcc 0 1539 March 16, 2009 at 11:49 am
Last Post: leo-rcc



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)