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Martial Arts
#31
RE: Martial Arts
(April 14, 2012 at 6:37 am)Napoleon Wrote: No one will ever catch me off guard. I have Unagi!

(Friends reference Tongue)

And did he have the eels he claimed or was he bluffing?
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#32
RE: Martial Arts
People are mentioning real life situations. I'd suggest taking up Systema. It's expensive and hard to find, admittedly; the only teachers of it tend to be guys who are former KGB or Russian Spetsnaz [where my brother learned it from] and since they aren't exactly common here and nor are they usually so freely-giving with the knowledge it can be a difficult school to train in. But if you can, do so.

The school of thought is to be completely fluid. Practically limp. You do not block punches or blows; you move with them. You learn how to absorb the power of an entire blow to the center of mass, how to loosen your muscles and to shift your center of balance so that a kick to the stomach is absorbed into your entire body. Dodging attacks is easy; no wild motions. They are all loose and controlled, almost casual, a punch to the head being dodged by moving the bare minimum of distance. Your opponent will see nothing but near-misses and he will become frustrated, angry, and wild. If they grapple you, Systema teaches you how to glide out of it; not just out of the lock, but out of the attempt to grapple you, and how to prevent an opponent from ever managing to get an arm or handhold anywhere on you that lasts for more than the briefest fraction of a second.

It also teaches you how to completely paralyze someone with the lightest of taps. A single finger shoved with just a slight bit of force into the right point of tension will dislocate shoulders, paralyze arms, numb nerves endings across an entire limb, or push the air out of an opponent's lungs, and if you must be lethal, how to crush a trachea with all the force of a sleepy backslap.

And it teaches you above all else; smile. There's nothing more off-putting to an opponent in hand-to-hand combat than to be grinning the entire time while he struggles to hit, grab, and injure what refuses to be hit, grabbed, or injured.

I've completely disabled men with blackbelts in karate, taekwondo, and kickboxing with the same amount of effort I'd put into lazily grabbing my bong for another toke halfway into an eighth. I've made pro-athlete boxers scream and reduced a couple guys trained in MMA to groaning, rolling, grounded bitches.

So. Yeah. If you guys REALLY wanna learn how to lay someone out without any effort [in the fight; you'll need a LOT for learning this shit] look up Systema.
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#33
RE: Martial Arts
I also do Taekwondo now aswell as Shaolin, my first lesson on tuesday was really fun ^^
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#34
RE: Martial Arts
I am a black belt in origami, I can kill with a sheet of paper (wrapped around a house brick) Wink
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!

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#35
RE: Martial Arts
(April 15, 2012 at 7:25 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I know that I can land a devastating kick on just about anyone (say goodbye to your knee, bro) - IF I can maintain enough separation, which ain't likely to happen in a real fight.

I can guarantee I can knock you out with a jumping reverse turning kick to the head. But unfourtunately the last few fights I've gotten into I haven't exactly had the chance for my opponent to remain perfectly stationary with enough space for me to pull it off and enough time for me to set myself to perform the technique.

So in all, it fails.

Most fights I see or have gotten into are wrestling matches with very few clean strikes landing at all. That's why I think it's better to practice MMA because it will give you a better range of skills to deal with far more likely situations.


You also mentioned knife training. I practised that too when I did TKD but in all likelyhood if someone attacked me with a knife I'd probably either
1. Just hand him my fucking wallet
2. Run the fuck away.

Ain't no way I'm getting stabbed, you can fuck that idea.
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#36
RE: Martial Arts
I was a karate mom. Does that count? I had my kid in AKKA for a year. He made it up to the Black Belt Team and then got bored with it. I sat there for three hours a week watching kids do shitty push ups and then have to do more because of it. I bet I learned way more patience doing that than any of you bitches. Tongue
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#37
RE: Martial Arts
(May 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm)Shell B Wrote: He made it up to the Black Belt Team and then got bored with it.

That's what happened with me.
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#38
RE: Martial Arts
Yeah, he was brilliant. He won a few trophies and then just didn't feel like it anymore.

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#39
RE: Martial Arts
I was on my way to get a black belt in Aikido and I did Taekwondo for a year. I really miss doing martial arts.. Sad
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura

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#40
RE: Martial Arts
I have a black belt in Gōjū-ryū, but I have not seriously practiced in close to a decade so I would assume I have lost the edge in my training and then some.
But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.
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