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Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 25, 2012 at 9:29 pm
(This post was last modified: September 25, 2012 at 9:31 pm by Tea Earl Grey Hot.)
Hey, I may not know a thing about greek and hebrew, but I have a knack for using 200 year old public domain lexicons to make verses say what I want to correct the stupidity of professional translators.
Here's what many famous verses really say:
John 3:16
Quote:For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Wait, what? God "loves" the world? Not in my book! See, the word "agapaō" used here really means "to entertain." PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...=G25&t=KJV
It should really read Quote:For God to entertain the world, he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
See, God really sent Jesus to die for our entertainment! Our God is a fun God!
Genesis 1:1
Quote:In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
Did God really create everything? My book says otherwise. The word translated here for "God," "'elohiym" really means "goddess"! PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...H430&t=KJV
It should read: Quote:In the beginning the goddess created the heaven and the earth.
The bible isn't so male-chauvinistic after all! Our God is a sexy God!
Matthew 1:21
Quote:And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
Did she really bring forth a son? Not in my book! The phrase "bring forth" is in the greek "tiktō" really means "the earth bringing forth its fruits"! PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...5088&t=KJV
The verse should read: Quote:And she shall cause the earth to bring forth fruit, and thou shalt call the fruit JESUS: for it shall save the people from their sins.
Wow! That's some fruit! The best theories suggest that Jesus was a fig. This also means that there's nothing cannibalistic about the Lord's supper anymore.
Well, that's all for today! Remember kids, ♫ the bible wasn't written in english!♫
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"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 25, 2012 at 9:44 pm
(September 25, 2012 at 9:29 pm)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: Hey, I may not know a thing about greek and hebrew, but I have a knack for using 200 year old public domain lexicons to make verses say what I want to correct the stupidity of professional translators.
Here's what many famous verses really say:
John 3:16
Quote:For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Wait, what? God "loves" the world? Not in my book! See, the word "agapaō" used here really means "to entertain." PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...=G25&t=KJV
It should really read Quote:For God to entertain the world, he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
See, God really sent Jesus to die for our entertainment! Our God is a fun God!
Genesis 1:1
Quote:In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
Did God really create everything? My book says otherwise. The word translated here for "God," "'elohiym" really means "goddess"! PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...H430&t=KJV
It should read: Quote:In the beginning the goddess created the heaven and the earth.
The bible isn't so male-chauvinistic after all! Our God is a sexy God!
Matthew 1:21
Quote:And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
Did she really bring forth a son? Not in my book! The phrase "bring forth" is in the greek "tiktō" really means "the earth bringing forth its fruits"! PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...5088&t=KJV
The verse should read: Quote:And she shall cause the earth to bring forth fruit, and thou shalt call the fruit JESUS: for it shall save the people from their sins.
Wow! That's some fruit! The best theories suggest that Jesus was a fig. This also means that there's nothing cannibalistic about the Lord's supper anymore.
Well, that's all for today! Remember kids, ♫the bible wasn't written in english!♫
This is great! ♫ the bible wasn't written in english!♫
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 25, 2012 at 9:55 pm
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 25, 2012 at 9:56 pm
(This post was last modified: September 25, 2012 at 10:11 pm by Tea Earl Grey Hot.)
(September 25, 2012 at 9:44 pm)Drich Wrote: ...
This is great! ♫the bible wasn't written in english!♫
Pardon me, I believe I have stepped into the mirror universe. 
(September 25, 2012 at 9:55 pm)Rayaan Wrote:
LOL. I love Sacha Baron Cohen. What crazy character will he think of next?
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"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 25, 2012 at 10:23 pm
(September 25, 2012 at 9:56 pm)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: Pardon me, I believe I have stepped into the mirror universe.
I thought I saw Spock walking down the street, but he had a beard. 
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
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Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 26, 2012 at 1:07 am
@ Tegh, again you show your ignorance of scripture, why don't you stay with something you know, that's if you know anything, it's for certain you know nothing about scripture, in short sir you are a liar necessarily, as bearing a false witness. Then you want us to trust anything you have to say, I say, bunk, your statements have no merit.
From a Greek dictionary:
1) agapao: to love very much in a moral sense.
2) elohiym: plural of God as in the Trinity.
3) tikto: To produce from seed as a mother, bear, to be born, be delivered, to travail, labor: all these as in childbirth.
PS you do need a new Bible, that is if you actually have one which I doubt, the little snips you bring to the table from scripture are most likely gathered from your favorite atheist sites, biased crap at the best.
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 26, 2012 at 1:13 am
Godschild, you are going into meltdown mode tonight.
This is a piece of satire I wrote spoofing Drich's cherry picking use of lexicons
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"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 26, 2012 at 2:06 am
(September 26, 2012 at 1:13 am)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: Godschild, you are going into meltdown mode tonight.
This is a piece of satire I wrote spoofing Drich's cherry picking use of lexicons
You should do things differently then, I personally do not like when people take scripture and use it in a perverse way.
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 26, 2012 at 2:10 am
(September 26, 2012 at 2:06 am)Godschild Wrote: (September 26, 2012 at 1:13 am)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: Godschild, you are going into meltdown mode tonight.
This is a piece of satire I wrote spoofing Drich's cherry picking use of lexicons
You should do things differently then, I personally do not like when people take scripture and use it in a perverse way.
I frankly don't care what offends your sensibilities and I shall continue to use scripture in whatever "perverse" way I like.
My ignore list
"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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RE: Lexicon Switcheroo!
September 26, 2012 at 2:24 am
(September 26, 2012 at 2:10 am)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: (September 26, 2012 at 2:06 am)Godschild Wrote: You should do things differently then, I personally do not like when people take scripture and use it in a perverse way.
I frankly don't care what offends your sensibilities and I shall continue to use scripture in whatever "perverse" way I like.
Then when I see them expect to get called out.
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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