Today I was happily excreting feces in my bathroom when I heard a knock on the front door.

I rushed and pulled my shorts back up as quickly as I could and bolted down the stairs.

Open the door and to my delightful surprise who should I expect but Christians, of course!

They're no longer on the streets, they're now chasing me home!

I can't even take a dump without being pestered by these pretentious twats!


Anyone wanna share a story of them having to answer a door or a phone only to have a very unwelcomed guest on the other end?

I wish they'd come and visit more often. I'd preach to them about my better religion of Darwinism (that's worship of Darwinian not Darwin, fyi).

(November 23, 2009 at 8:30 am)theVOID Wrote: I wish they'd come and visit more often. I'd preach to them about my better religion of Darwinism (that's worship of Darwinian not Darwin, fyi).

Bless you my son

They don't come to my door anymore because I had some incidents with them a few years ago. But I see them passing by my house sometimes, I wave and smile at them and they just ignore me.

I'll tell you a true story here.
I already have a spoof religion made up ready to deter these people; it is about St Postula and her Holy Screeves. I've used it a few times.
Well, about 10 years ago, just as we were preparing Sunday lunch, a pair of Mormons rang the bell. (I knew what they were, they'd been around the village for days.)
Before they could open their mouths, I was off with, "Are you saved? Do you believe on our Lady St Postula and the Screeves? You may think you're saved, but unless you have St Postula in your heart, you are inadequately saved."
Then I had an inspiration. I turned back towards the kitchen and called to my daughter: "Jennie! There's some people here who are inadequately saved. They need the Screeves of our Lady St Postula."
Jennie came out from the kitchen with a manic grin, waving a half-peeled carrot. "Do they want a carrot?"
"Well, says I, "a carrot might help, but what they really need is the Screeves of St Postula."
I turned back towards the front door but the Mormons were gone, belting down the road as fast as their legs would carry them.

Most entertaining story Alfred.

One time I was hanging out waiting for a friend to show up. The doorbell rang, and I went to the door only to find two Jehovah's Witnesses. It sucked. I even took their stupid Watchtower magazine.

Come to the door with war paint upon your face and 'dressed to kill'. That should make the meetings a little faster

(November 23, 2009 at 11:41 am)Dotard Wrote: Most entertaining story Alfred.

Ripper Alfredr.

My brother answers the door in the nude to Mormons. This must be a truly terrifying sight to someone who has never actually seen their own genitalia.


My quote of the week;

Quote:Peter,do you think the FBI will ever give me a gun? (Professor Walter Bishop)

(November 25, 2009 at 5:56 pm)padraic Wrote: My brother answers the door in the nude to Mormons. This must be a truly terrifying sight to someone who has never actually seen their own genitalia.

Are your brother's naughty bits especially grotesque? Post a photo.