Goon, reading may not be your strength, but you need to get over that as soon as possible. Buy a copy of The Elements of Style by Strunk and White. It is a small masterpiece on grammar and usage that you can practically fit in your pocket.

Screw it. Just don't use commas. It won't matter unless it's something formal -- people will mentally insert the commas as necessary. When in doubt, do without.

(April 23, 2015 at 10:59 am)Alex K Wrote:

(April 23, 2015 at 10:56 am)robvalue Wrote: I would never have known you weren't native Alex.

I'd say "native, Alex", or otherwise one might think Alex is a nation. Which would be cool. Anyways
Back off topic; I spent enough time in English speaking countries and I rarely watch German TV, that helps.

As you can see, your English use is better than that of many native speakers of English.  I remember visiting Germany many years ago, and I told a girl I met that her English was, literally, better than many native speakers.  She did not believe me, but it was absolutely true.  She just had the slightest accent, but otherwise she spoke English better than a significant percentage of native speakers of English.  Her grammar and word choice were superb.  She spoke like a well-educated native speaker of English, other than a slight accent.

over hear vhere I live (vhich iz top zekret) ve all speak perfekt english

There are certain amusing holes in my knowledge of the language that would give it away though, such as vocabulary pertaining to activities which I rarely encounter. Names for some household appliances or tools for example.

(April 23, 2015 at 10:54 am)Alex K Wrote: I consider my English grammar to be relatively good, but commas are my big weakness. I put them such that the text subjectively has a nice flow to it and, more importantly, that logically distinct parts are separated and there are no ambiguities in meaning. And then I pray that what I have done is close to correct.

In my case, I sometimes add commas to my online posts to help clarify meaning, even if they are not grammatically correct.  Usually, I would rather be understood than be grammatically correct, though, most of the time, following the rules for proper grammar aides in communication and is best for both purposes.

Anyway, your comma usage is not going to show that you are not a native speaker of English.  Just read the posts of many Americans, and you will see that your command of English is superior to what many of them manage in their posts.

No it won't, because I have even less of a clue how to correctly put them in my native language

(April 23, 2015 at 12:41 pm)Jörmungandr Wrote: Screw it.  Just don't use commas.  It won't matter unless it's something formal -- people will mentally insert the commas as necessary.  When in doubt, do without.

Let's eat, grandma!
Let's eat grandma!

Ummm.....

Commas, are, our, friends, I, love, commas!!

(Kiefer Sutherland talked like that in Dark City, BTW)

What's the general AF consensus on semicolons? Love 'em? Hate 'em? Other?

I think they're highly underrated.