How to sound like an Online New Atheist

[omnomnom]

I'm still giggling over his mermaid insult the other day xD

That's the third time you said that. You have bad humour or some serious sex addiction problems. You need to quit fantasizing after that girl in that one Disney cartoon I forget her name but she has red hair and seashells on her boobs.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Boru

[Iroscato]

I'm still giggling over his mermaid insult the other day xD

That's the third time you said that. You have bad humour or some serious sex addiction problems. You need to quit fantasizing after that girl in that one Disney cartoon I forget her name but she has red hair and seashells on her boobs.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks...

[omnomnom]

Both your troll game and your google-fu is weak.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Poe

Of course being a poe, you already knew that.

"A parody of a fundmentalist".

I guess you mean I'm pretending to be a fundamentalist if that's what you mean. And yes, I actually am a fundamentalist of sorts. I participate in Hindutva RSS activities if you know what that is.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I participate in Hindutva RSS activities if you know what that is.

You said earlier that you were a Buddhist.  Have you had a sudden conversion?

Boru

[omnomnom]

I participate in Hindutva RSS activities if you know what that is.

You said earlier that you were a Buddhist.  Have you had a sudden conversion?

Boru

Go look up what Hindutva means.

[LastPoet]

[Aoi Magi]

Hmm, shouldn't this thread be in the humor section?

[Whateverist]

If you'd like to destroy us in debate, you might like to put forward an actual argument for your position, whatever it may be. 

I doubt the POE can communicate a coherent position.  He just likes to lampoon everyone else's.

Let me take one more crack at telling the POE what amounts to the most common 'atheist' position:


Theist:  Have you found the lord our God?

Person:  Uh, what does it look like?

Theist:  It created us all and wants us to worship it so we can avoid damnation when we die and join Him in heaven.

Person:  Pretty sure I've never met anyone like that.  But how would I recognize Him if I did meet Him?

Theist:  You don't meet Him that way.  He only reveals Himself to those who believe through faith.

Person:  Belief doesn't work that way for me.  I just believe stuff I have a reason to think true.  

Theist:  Oh go on and try it.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Person:  That just seems like a warped use of "belief".  I don't think I could lie to myself like that.

Theist:  It isn't a lie.  It is just admitting you don't know everything and turning yourself over to a higher power.

Person:  Oh I admit I don't know everything, most especially I am unaware of any 'higher' powers apart from elected officials, etc.

Theist:  Wow, you really think you're the most high and mighty being in creation?

Person:  Oh no, plenty of people are smarter than me and I recognize many as more expert than myself in their fields.

Theist:  Look, we're not talking about people.  We're talking about God.  Will you or won't you believe?!

Person:  It doesn't seem that I do or can, so no.

Theist:  Then you're an atheist.

Person:  I guess that's right since I lack any belief in this God of yours.

Theist:  No, no - you believe my God doesn't exist.

Person:  I don't know about that.  Perhaps I just need a better description.  But clearly I'm not a theist.  What would you call me?

Theist:  You're an agnostic because you don't know if you believe.

Person:  Oh, I'm quite certain I don't believe if that requires the payment of unearned faith up front.

Theist:  And that is why you will roast in hell.

Person:  *backs slowly away*

[Esquilax]

If slowly morphing from an explosion to a rock, to an ape, to a human, is reality, then um no.

Do you actually think that's what the theory of evolution describes?