Sorry, I am isolated and trapped and depressed...so I'm going to air a bit of dirty laundry,
and I apologize in advance for breaking any protocols;
feel free to ignore me, or respond, as you choose......
My mother and my sister are driving me nuts.
1. My mother gets into scrapes, all the time,
she always sails in recklessly and bites off more than she can chew,
and then wants me and/or my dad to help her out of the scrape.
If I don't help, my poor tired old Dad ends up doing it.
And it's always a scrape that is difficult to remedy,
but could have been easily avoided;
yet when I caution her how to avoid scrapes,
she gets mad at me
and tells me not to talk to her as if she's a child...
...but then, when I don't caution her,
she goes and gets into another messy scrape,
and expects me to bail her out again...
....or watch Dad struggle to.
2. Mom shamelessly shows favoritism toward my sister,
...and this even though my sister shamelessly manipulates her;
My sister has my mother convinced that SHE is on my mother's side,
...and that I am the one taking advantage of my mother;
This, even though my sister's (often gratuitous) manipulation
has repeatedly been to my mother's significant detriment;
and even though I have helped mom again and again
(frequently to my own detriment)
(And my sister IS malicious...she antagonizes me, turns mom against me
....and then she says mom favours ME).
3. Mom is not "malicious", per se;
but she is so biased, so unreasonable, so controlling, so unwise and so unfair
...that outright malice might actually be less damaging.
But BECAUSE the root cause is a very unfortunate combination of Foolishness + Stubborness,
(and NOT malice),
if I get finally fed up and refuse to help her,
I am seen as the unreasonable, unmalleable, selfish daughter...
...no matter how much she hurts me.
These problems may sound fairly tame compared to some families;
but I am only describing the overall dynamic;
I am leaving out the specifics of my exact losses.
This has been going on for 20 years.
I am now at a point where I just want my mother out of my life for good.
I don't want her to be miserable,
but I don't want her involved in my life, whatsoever;
but she will be miserable unless she continues to have access to me,
...and she is insidious...to give her ANY access is a liability.
And sadly, this is only part of a larger pattern:
This goes back to include my grandmother and my aunt, as well.
These four women are fucking toxic.
I know I can trust my own judgment;
I can articulate their exact issues, all day long.
But it doesn't do me any good,
and if I don't continue to bear the burden,
all of it will fall to Dad;
and it's not like these women really want me to go, either...
it suits them to have me in the role of bottom rung on the family ladder.
and I apologize in advance for breaking any protocols;
feel free to ignore me, or respond, as you choose......
My mother and my sister are driving me nuts.
1. My mother gets into scrapes, all the time,
she always sails in recklessly and bites off more than she can chew,
and then wants me and/or my dad to help her out of the scrape.
If I don't help, my poor tired old Dad ends up doing it.
And it's always a scrape that is difficult to remedy,
but could have been easily avoided;
yet when I caution her how to avoid scrapes,
she gets mad at me
and tells me not to talk to her as if she's a child...
...but then, when I don't caution her,
she goes and gets into another messy scrape,
and expects me to bail her out again...
....or watch Dad struggle to.
2. Mom shamelessly shows favoritism toward my sister,
...and this even though my sister shamelessly manipulates her;
My sister has my mother convinced that SHE is on my mother's side,
...and that I am the one taking advantage of my mother;
This, even though my sister's (often gratuitous) manipulation
has repeatedly been to my mother's significant detriment;
and even though I have helped mom again and again
(frequently to my own detriment)
(And my sister IS malicious...she antagonizes me, turns mom against me
....and then she says mom favours ME).
3. Mom is not "malicious", per se;
but she is so biased, so unreasonable, so controlling, so unwise and so unfair
...that outright malice might actually be less damaging.
But BECAUSE the root cause is a very unfortunate combination of Foolishness + Stubborness,
(and NOT malice),
if I get finally fed up and refuse to help her,
I am seen as the unreasonable, unmalleable, selfish daughter...
...no matter how much she hurts me.
These problems may sound fairly tame compared to some families;
but I am only describing the overall dynamic;
I am leaving out the specifics of my exact losses.
This has been going on for 20 years.
I am now at a point where I just want my mother out of my life for good.
I don't want her to be miserable,
but I don't want her involved in my life, whatsoever;
but she will be miserable unless she continues to have access to me,
...and she is insidious...to give her ANY access is a liability.
And sadly, this is only part of a larger pattern:
This goes back to include my grandmother and my aunt, as well.
These four women are fucking toxic.
I know I can trust my own judgment;
I can articulate their exact issues, all day long.
But it doesn't do me any good,
and if I don't continue to bear the burden,
all of it will fall to Dad;
and it's not like these women really want me to go, either...
it suits them to have me in the role of bottom rung on the family ladder.
![[Image: rySLj1k.png]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i.imgur.com%2FrySLj1k.png)
