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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
limericks!

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limericks!
drfuzzy Offline
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#1
limericks!
October 8, 2015 at 9:15 pm (This post was last modified: October 8, 2015 at 9:16 pm by drfuzzy.)
What do you think, guys?  We have a meme thread and a joke thread so - why not a limerick thread?  (Or haiku?)

See, I posted this limerick in one thread:  

There once was a man whose psychology
Led him to accept a theology
He swore it was true
But between me and you
I think it's just bovine proctology.

And one more:

An alien dude and his wife
Heard that Earth with smart humans was rife
They conducted their search
They went church to church
But they found no intelligent life.

These were stolen from Dave's Big Fat Limerick Site:  Dave's site

But THEN!!!  Rocket and Crossless got inspired and created their own!

RocketSurgeon: 
The fundies they all sound so crazy,
Yet I think that they're just a bit lazy.
They'll swear it's all true
And explain it for you
But it only makes things seem more hazy.

Crossless1: 
A Christian once came to my door,
But his reasoning powers were poor.
I tried on a whim
To argue with him,
Which soon proved to be quite a bore.


So I had to try to be original too.  Here goes:

The fundies say heaven awaits
They long for those pearly gates
Once there they'll be bored
Just their sect and their Lord
Nobody in heaven to hate!
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#2
RE: limericks!
October 8, 2015 at 9:27 pm
A clever young vampire named Mabel,
Had periods that were quite stable,
So one night in her tomb,
She sat down with a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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drfuzzy Offline
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#3
RE: limericks!
October 8, 2015 at 9:29 pm
(October 8, 2015 at 9:27 pm)Beccs Wrote: A clever young vampire named Mabel,
Had periods that were quite stable,
So one night in her tomb,
She sat down with a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.

Ouch!  Ewwwww.   LOL!!!!!  Thanks Beccs!
Clap
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#4
RE: limericks!
October 8, 2015 at 9:31 pm
The blacksmith's son's name was Matt,
Under a tree in the back yard he sat,
Amusing himself,
By abusing himself,
And catching the load in his hat.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Reply
Exian Offline
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#5
RE: limericks!
October 8, 2015 at 9:59 pm
JW's will stand on your door mats
Christians try to drag you to mass
But along comes Min
Full of piss and sin
And tells them to blow Jesus out their ass
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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Athene Offline Donators
Do You See What I See?
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#6
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 12:02 am
There once was a Thread on Vajayjay
The posters went wild and cra-zay
They pondered the smell
Agreed coochies were swell
In that thread of twenty-four page-jays
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Ravenshire Offline Donators
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#7
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 12:34 am
There once was a Lois from Trent
One year on vacation she went
They found her quite dead
With a hole in her head
It seems she went down on Clark Kent
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
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TheRocketSurgeon Offline
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#8
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 12:42 am (This post was last modified: October 9, 2015 at 12:43 am by TheRocketSurgeon.)
It seems it's a daily banality
That Christians attack our morality
They claim we have none
Yet it's God and his Son
Who have psychotic rates of lethality.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.

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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#9
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 1:20 am
Quote:There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
       He said with a grin,
       As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!
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TheRocketSurgeon Offline
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#10
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 1:23 am
Wait, is this supposed to be an "original limericks" thread, or a "favorite limericks" thread?
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.

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limericks!



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