I need a therapist

[ScienceAf]

Don't take any medication for depression or anxiety it's not worth the side effects.

And you know this how???

My dad is taking Valium that isn't prescribed to him. And with alcohol.
and his lung problems.

After the Valium he started fainting and losing memory.
etc.

[bennyboy]

I am so confused about what to do in life. I don't know if I should just end things with my wife. I don't know if I should continue with my religion just for the friends and the community. I don't know if I should try to go back to school and try to become a lawyer which has always been a dream of mine. I am 29 with a HS diploma and nothing else. My business is successful enough for a comfortable life. I am scared still that I am wrong about not believing in my religion anymore. And the list goes on. I feel like the inevitable is that I am just going to leave my wife and start over but I am scared that I'll be aimless and lonely. I know that there is plenty I can do in life to widen out and make new friends but I am so scared that I am making the wrong decision.

Does anyone recommend a good tool for finding a therapist? Anybody know of specific treatments that they recommend for me? Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Your first and second paragraphs are very worrying to me.

You can consult a therapist to work out your emotional problems.  Do NOT ask a therapist to decide you what to do in life, and do not ask us.  Like everyone else, you'll have to look into yourself and find where the balance between comfort and your motivation for change lies.

[Edwardo Piet]

I am scared still that I am wrong about not believing in my religion anymore.

You're really not.

I hope your life gets better. I wish I could offer advice but I am afraid to give you bad advice and make things worse. All I can say is, religion is bullshit.

[account_inactive]

Don't take any medication for depression or anxiety it's not worth the side effects.

Probably the worst advice ever.

[Faith No More]

I know depression personally. I wanted to kill myself many times. I didn't. I didn't want to kill myself for silly reasons like my xbox was taken away or some shit.

It was because I knew that as a brown person I would have to work twice as hard as the white man next to me,
I would be a minority for being atheist,
my dad's dying, etc.

And I'd recommend anti depressants but have you seen the side effects.

Take Valium for example.

Side effects:
Fainting
Dizziness
Thoughts of suicide,
Death, etc


Maybe some minor anti depressants would work but in reality they don't solve anything.

I thought this through because I knew that this man's life is in need of help.

I'm not gonna throw out advice that I haven't researched.

FYI, Valium is not an anti-depressant. You clearly haven't researched it too much.

I've been dealing with depression for over two decades, and I wouldn't be here without anti-depressants. I don't have any noticeable side effects, either.

[brewer]

And you know this how???

My dad is taking Valium that isn't prescribed to him. And with alcohol.
and his lung problems.

After the Valium he started fainting and losing memory.
etc.

This is what you're basing your advice on? Lets see, not prescribed, no medical management and combining with ETOH.

With your limited experience with either of these medication categories I think you might want to back away.

[ScienceAf]

I know depression personally. I wanted to kill myself many times. I didn't. I didn't want to kill myself for silly reasons like my xbox was taken away or some shit.

It was because I knew that as a brown person I would have to work twice as hard as the white man next to me,
I would be a minority for being atheist,
my dad's dying, etc.

And I'd recommend anti depressants but have you seen the side effects.

Take Valium for example.

Side effects:
Fainting
Dizziness
Thoughts of suicide,
Death, etc


Maybe some minor anti depressants would work but in reality they don't solve anything.

I thought this through because I knew that this man's life is in need of help.

I'm not gonna throw out advice that I haven't researched.

FYI, Valium is not an anti-depressant.  You clearly haven't researched it too much.

I've been dealing with depression for over two decades, and I wouldn't be here without anti-depressants.  I don't have any noticeable side effects, either.

Shit, sorry, it's anexity medication.

I'm really sorry.

But just in general. You know if you don't need it don't take it.

[ScienceAf]

Everyone I'm sorry.

I clearly haven't done much research on it.
Sorry.

[PETE_ROSE]

My thoughts are with you my friend. I will not offer much in the way of life advice but I will relay to you what my mother, a mental health councilor and now college professor has said regarding couples and individuals in similar situations.

She has stated that most people wait too long before seeking therapy. That if they had come sooner, the marriage or other issues would have been salvageable or easier to manage.

I would interpret this as to not delay long in seeking professional counseling.

Remember you have friends and family to lean on in these times. Focus on the positive if you can.

[RozKek]

That's not how it works. If he's depressed he should definitely take anti-depressants unless it's mild and can be overcome with CBT, mindfulness/meditation, exercise, and a healthy diet. Depression, anxiety and mental illnesses in general aren't as simple as saying fuck it, thinking it through a bit more and skipping anti-depressants. I'm not here to attack you personally, I'm just trying to avoid having not so good advice handed out.

I know depression personally. I wanted to kill myself many times. I didn't. I didn't want to kill myself for silly reasons like my xbox was taken away or some shit.

It was because I knew that as a brown person I would have to work twice as hard as the white man next to me,
I would be a minority for being atheist,
my dad's dying, etc.

And I'd recommend anti depressants but have you seen the side effects.

Take Valium for example.

Side effects:
Fainting
Dizziness
Thoughts of suicide,
Death, etc


Maybe some minor anti depressants would work but in reality they don't solve anything.

I thought this through because I knew that this man's life is in need of help.

I'm not gonna throw out advice that I haven't researched.

I don't like telling people how they feel but I'm pretty sure you were just feeling sadder than usual and your negative thoughts made it worse, but you weren't depressed. Depression isn't something you can think away. Possible side effects aren't worse than depression at all. If your anti-depressants cause suicidal thoughts then they aren't doing their job, when that happens you try another brand. 

If it was that easy do you really think millions of people in the US alone would be depressed and live shitty lives if it could be magically fixed by thinking it through? Also, you mentioned you're already tall and have body hair that means your sadness was probably caused by hormones, mood swings whereas op is 29 and clearly has a difficult time that can't be thought away.

I imagine it's rather offensive to tell a depressed person "Just think it away", it's the equilivant of saying "it's all in your mind" and is quite false. 

Your negative thoughts caused depression and suicidal behavior, the problem is when your depression causes negative thoughts and suicidal behavior, there's a big difference.