Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Jello]

CIJS.

What the actual fuck? You ask me what's bothering me, and as soon as i tell you, and you know full well how emotional i get during this kind of thing, you decide "oh, i'm going to bed"? Wow. Fuck you too, you uncaring arsehole. People like you are EXACTLY why i'm bothered all the time. People like you are why i feel so irrelevant, and unimportant. You end up being part of the problem, rather than helping me solve it. Time and time again, you just prove to me why i shouldn't trust you in the slightest, you clearly just do not care, unless i'm able to solve something for you.

You've decided to fuck off and go to sleep, knowing how emotionally torn i am now. Thank you, at least, for showing how little i mean to you, now i can work with that.

Christ i really, really hate people so fucking much.

[Seraphina]

Dammit, I cannot buy a jar of Nutella with the idea that "I'll save it as a treat on Christmas". I couldn't resist that siren song.

[robvalue]

CIJS.

What the actual fuck? You ask me what's bothering me, and as soon as i tell you, and you know full well how emotional i get during this kind of thing, you decide "oh, i'm going to bed"? Wow. Fuck you too, you uncaring arsehole. People like you are EXACTLY why i'm bothered all the time. People like you are why i feel so irrelevant, and unimportant. You end up being part of the problem, rather than helping me solve it. Time and time again, you just prove to me why i shouldn't trust you in the slightest, you clearly just do not care, unless i'm able to solve something for you.

You've decided to fuck off and go to sleep, knowing how emotionally torn i am now. Thank you, at least, for showing how little i mean to you, now i can work with that.

Christ i really, really hate people so fucking much.

I'm very sorry to hear this You're always welcome to PM / Facebook messenger me if you need a symoathetic ear.

[Jello]

CIJS.

What the actual fuck? You ask me what's bothering me, and as soon as i tell you, and you know full well how emotional i get during this kind of thing, you decide "oh, i'm going to bed"? Wow. Fuck you too, you uncaring arsehole. People like you are EXACTLY why i'm bothered all the time. People like you are why i feel so irrelevant, and unimportant. You end up being part of the problem, rather than helping me solve it. Time and time again, you just prove to me why i shouldn't trust you in the slightest, you clearly just do not care, unless i'm able to solve something for you.

You've decided to fuck off and go to sleep, knowing how emotionally torn i am now. Thank you, at least, for showing how little i mean to you, now i can work with that.

Christ i really, really hate people so fucking much.

I'm very sorry to hear this You're always welcome to PM / Facebook messenger me if you need a symoathetic ear.

I really appreciate it, i will.

[J a c k]

Cijs...
I think I need to move far away. I need to start fresh. I'm not going to make it here. I keep hearing my mind screaming "help", but I don't help myself. This time it seemed like the scare made you see how bad you have been and how much you need help, but you pass by, don't see my car, and mayhem ensues. There comes a time when one must admit a fault. I enable people. I enable you to keep me in fear. I enable others too. I just sit here and allow this to happen because they said you will be arrested and I'm worried you'll lose that job you love. I allow it to happen because you cry and I feel bad for you. One moment you yell at me that I'm a cheap whore, a gross pile of pork meat, that I deserved what happened to me as a teen, that you will make sure the kids grow up hating their dyke mother, that you will tell everyone that I'm a whore, you publicly shame me by posting my texts online, you yell at me that I don't even matter because you had your girlfriend since before our marriage ended, and you tell our son that I'm a drug addict just because I take prescribed antidepressants. Then... you call me and beg me for fucking sex, tell me that you need it and it would help you, and that you'll come down here anyway and I can call the cops if I want, but phrase it "I want to be with you." Shoot me now. I'm as good as dead. It's been years of your abuse and you still won't let me move on. I can't anymore. I keep protecting you and wtf! You deserve what's happening to you! Fuck you! Let me live. Please. I can't breathe. I'm losing everything and everyone and lost my only chance at love because of you and I don't think I will ever forgive myself for letting you get away with that. Fuck you.

CIJS... you. You're gay. We both know this by now. You put on a good show and convinced me otherwise at first, but dude, you're gay. I won't be your closet. Just staaaaaahp. Admit it. Find yourself a dude.

And you...
I remember you sometimes. Your voice mainly. I smile when I remember. I wish you knew I was only trying to protect you from all of this. Hope you're safe and happy.

[brewer]

Cijs...
I think I need to move far away. I need to start fresh. I'm not going to make it here. I keep hearing my mind screaming "help", but I don't help myself. This time it seemed like the scare made you see how bad you have been and how much you need help, but you pass by, don't see my car, and mayhem ensues. There comes a time when one must admit a fault. I enable people. I enable you to keep me in fear. I enable others too. I just sit here and allow this to happen because they said you will be arrested and I'm worried you'll lose that job you love. I allow it to happen because you cry and I feel bad for you. One moment you yell at me that I'm a cheap whore, a gross pile of pork meat, that I deserved what happened to me as a teen, that you will make sure the kids grow up hating their dyke mother, that you will tell everyone that I'm a whore, you publicly shame me by posting my texts online, you yell at me that I don't even matter because you had your girlfriend since before our marriage ended, and you tell our son that I'm a drug addict just because I take prescribed antidepressants. Then... you call me and beg me for fucking sex, tell me that you need it and it would help you, and that you'll come down here anyway and I can call the cops if I want, but phrase it "I want to be with you." Shoot me now. I'm as good as dead. It's been years of your abuse and you still won't let me move on. I can't anymore. I keep protecting you and wtf! You deserve what's happening to you! Fuck you! Let me live. Please. I can't breathe. I'm losing everything and everyone and lost my only chance at love because of you and I don't think I will ever forgive myself for letting you get away with that. Fuck you.

CIJS... you. You're gay. We both know this by now. You put on a good show and convinced me otherwise at first, but dude, you're gay. I won't be your closet. Just staaaaaahp. Admit it. Find yourself a dude.

And you...
I remember you sometimes. Your voice mainly. I smile when I remember. I wish you knew I was only trying to protect you from all of this. Hope you're safe and happy.

Wow (not in a good way)!

Extraction time. Got a plan?

[Tonus]

Sounds like it. If making big changes in order to get out of a bad situation seems scary, recognize that you're already suffering. Suffer for something better.

[J a c k]

Wow (not in a good way)!

Extraction time. Got a plan?

I'm thinking I'd like to move North. I want it to be a place where I don't know anyone. I'm applying for a second job. As soon as I have enough money to leave, I'll leave. I just need to know where.

[brewer]

Wow (not in a good way)!

Extraction time. Got a plan?

I'm thinking I'd like to move North. I want it to be a place where I don't know anyone. I'm applying for a second job. As soon as I have enough money to leave, I'll leave. I just need to know where.

That sounds like a start. Good luck! Life is to short for that kind of shit.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Put your all into it, 'Cita. You can't leap a chasm in two jumps.

You can do this, hon.