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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 8:44 pm
In the spirit of Catholic_Lady's OP I want to link to this which I actually saw on reddit just a couple of weeks ago.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...D=ref_fark
I know a few people have said something along the lines, that there are some people that are too far gone to build bridges with. This article talks about a black man who has befriended members of the KKK and just through interacting peacefully with them, talking with them, learning about them, and sharing with them; has created a reason for them to doubt a lot of the racial prejudices they once had. I hate to get all cliche and pull the trump card of racial unity, but I think that is what made Martin Luther King Jr such a monumental human being. He didn't just fight his opposition, he loved them too. And I feel like somewhere along the way we lost that message. I really do think whether it be political, racial, or social ideologies we can probably find common ground more often than not if your willing to come to the table with an open mind and the desire to discuss, rather than argue.
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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 8:51 pm
(This post was last modified: January 9, 2017 at 8:55 pm by Catholic_Lady.)
(January 9, 2017 at 6:25 pm)Minimalist Wrote: You really are very sweet.
Thanks Min.  You're a good guy yourself.
(January 9, 2017 at 8:44 pm)FlyingNarwhal Wrote: In the spirit of Catholic_Lady's OP I want to link to this which I actually saw on reddit just a couple of weeks ago.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4055162/Killing-hatred-kindness-Black-man-convinced-200-racists-abandon-KKK-making-friends-despite-prejudiced-views.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
I know a few people have said something along the lines, that there are some people that are too far gone to build bridges with. This article talks about a black man who has befriended members of the KKK and just through interacting peacefully with them, talking with them, learning about them, and sharing with them; has created a reason for them to doubt a lot of the racial prejudices they once had. I hate to get all cliche and pull the trump card of racial unity, but I think that is what made Martin Luther King Jr such a monumental human being. He didn't just fight his opposition, he loved them too. And I feel like somewhere along the way we lost that message. I really do think whether it be political, racial, or social ideologies we can probably find common ground more often than not if your willing to come to the table with an open mind and the desire to discuss, rather than argue.
I love this! Thank you for posting.
Also, link didn't work. Here's another one: http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/22/black-man-...e-6339257/
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 8:57 pm
As I wrote in the thread CL mentioned, I prefer building bridges to building walls ... but walls are.sometimes needed. Some examples to my point are found above -- bigotry and those who never look beyond violence for a solution are two types who get quarantine, from me.
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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 9:07 pm
It's when people are abusive or manipulative that I stop wanting to befriend them. Other than that I'll befriend anyone.
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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm
(This post was last modified: January 9, 2017 at 10:07 pm by Kernel Sohcahtoa.)
whateverist Wrote:For the most part I'm not a big save-the-world guy. My motto is "if the world is ever going to be the kind of place in which a person can live a fulfilling life, let that begin with me." Maybe I'm a confucianist, you know, get your own house in order, then look to improve the neighborhood, the town, and so on.
Well said, Whateverist. IMO, you've nailed a key aspect of effective conflict resolution. Based on my experience (family, friends, co-workers, etc.), I have learned that if I try to fix others without first fixing myself, then I will be met with resistance and defensiveness, which often results in an unproductive retaliatory cycle. However, if I honestly look at how I might have contributed to the problem and own up to this contribution to myself and to others (IMO, this needs to be genuine and free of blame or judgement in both verbal and non-verbal delivery), then I have found that this increases the likelihood of me, and those I'm in conflict with, engaging in a productive dialog aimed at attacking the problem rather than each other. Hence, I would not consider myself a big save the world guy either: I just try to do my best to embody effective conflict resolution via my behavior and actions, which may possibly inspire others to look into the conflict resolution field, read some literature/watch videos, and promote effective conflict resolution in their own way.
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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 9:41 pm
There are no bridges to built with me. I have no enemies or friends. I don't care much for making peace but rather being at peace with myself. I may choose not to befriend people or to keep my distance from most people but that doesn't mean i hate or despise them. For the most part i rather be left alone.
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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 10:07 pm
Shoot, I thought this was gonna be another poop thread.
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RE: Building Bridges
January 9, 2017 at 10:23 pm
(January 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)Kernel Sohcahtoa Wrote: whateverist Wrote:For the most part I'm not a big save-the-world guy. My motto is "if the world is ever going to be the kind of place in which a person can live a fulfilling life, let that begin with me." Maybe I'm a confucianist, you know, get your own house in order, then look to improve the neighborhood, the town, and so on.
Well said, Whateverist. IMO, you've nailed a key aspect of effective conflict resolution. Based on my experience (family, friends, co-workers, etc.), I have learned that if I try to fix others without first fixing myself, then I will be met with resistance and defensiveness, which often results in an unproductive retaliatory cycle. However, if I honestly look at how I might have contributed to the problem and own up to this contribution to myself and to others (IMO, this needs to be genuine and free of blame or judgement in both verbal and non-verbal delivery), then I have found that this increases the likelihood of me, and those I'm in conflict with, engaging in a productive dialog aimed at attacking the problem rather than each other. Hence, I would not consider myself a big save the world guy either: I just try to do my best to embody effective conflict resolution via my behavior and actions, which may possibly inspire others to look into the conflict resolution field, read some literature/watch videos, and promote effective conflict resolution in their own way.
This should serve you well in long term relationships too.
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