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To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
#1
To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
The other day I posted the article below:

Alternative medicine kills cancer patients
https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/alterna...-patients/

With the comment of "Science-based, evidence-based medicine for me, thanks!"

The same day, a girl I've known my whole educational life (we went to every school together K-12) posted this:

"I didn't want to intervene but my mom was diagnosed with cll leukemia about three years ago and she did some research. Please look into seeing Dr. Charmin in Springfield he's a cutting edge doctor with a new treatment called goziva. He tells his patients to avoid chemo at all costs because it often causes the cancer to come back worse years later after remission. Please look into getting this treatment if possible."

[Note that I did google this doctor to check how quacking he was and she spelled his name wrong]

To this, I responded:

"I appreciate that you're heart is in the right place and I'm very sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis, but I trust the research out of OHSU way more than I trust the "research" of a single cancer patient, no matter how miraculous they claim the cure they found is.

I am 100,000,000,000,000% going to continue with my chemotherapy; It works. No one can give me certainty that I won't ever get cancer again after I beat this, but since it's my life that's on the life, I'll go where the best odds are."

She responded:
"I understand and respect your choice. I meant no offense and I hope you heal soon. It sounds like you have a great support team of family and friends!"

The thing is, though, I am 100% not convinced that she "understands and respects" my choice because she decided to advocate for me stopping chemotherapy and doing some quack treatment after I posted an article about how "alternative" medicine kills cancer patients and explicitly stated that I'm going the evidence-based route for treatment.

So the question is:

Do I unfriend her now and ignore her response?
    OR
Do I respond that I think she's disrespecting my choices and then unfriend her?

PS I opened facebook this morning with the intention of simply unfriending her until I saw her response.
Teenaged X-Files obsession + Bermuda Triangle episode + Self-led school research project = Atheist.
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#2
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
I've been a fan of the clean break for decades.

So that would be a vote for your first choice.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#3
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
I would advocate for unfriending and ignoring the response, but if responding to her helps you vent then go for it.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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#4
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
Sorry to hear about your health.
Hope you beat this. Stay strong.

I'd ignore and drop, if I wer to drop. I only respond if I think it worthwhile to see the other person respond to my response. Otherwise, ... what's the use?
But... that's me. You do you.
"If we go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, suggesting 69.
[Image: 41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg]-
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#5
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
If the other girl is merely someone you went to school with and not an actual real life friend, just dump her ass.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
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#6
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
I doubt you'll change her mind, I personally would let her have the last word and just unfriend her.
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#7
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
(August 17, 2017 at 10:46 am)Clueless Morgan Wrote:


I couldn't find the doctor or the cam medication. 

There is a medication for cll called Gazyva that is allopathic/science-evidence based. Is this person just confused?: https://www.gazyva.com/

My suggestion, don't unfriend but educate. You may be saving her life down the road.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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#8
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
I wouldn't unfriend, myself, if she is a friend irl. I guess it depends on how sensitive you might be to difference of opinion between friends.

Venting, though, that's useful. Do so here, or start a journal if you don't already keep one.

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#9
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
(August 17, 2017 at 10:46 am)Clueless Morgan Wrote: The other day I posted the article below:

Alternative medicine kills cancer patients
https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/alterna...-patients/

With the comment of "Science-based, evidence-based medicine for me, thanks!"

The same day, a girl I've known my whole educational life (we went to every school together K-12) posted this:

"I didn't want to intervene but my mom was diagnosed with cll leukemia about three years ago and she did some research. Please look into seeing Dr. Charmin in Springfield he's a cutting edge doctor with a new treatment called goziva. He tells his patients to avoid chemo at all costs because it often causes the cancer to come back worse years later after remission. Please look into getting this treatment if possible."

[Note that I did google this doctor to check how quacking he was and she spelled his name wrong]

To this, I responded:

"I appreciate that you're heart is in the right place and I'm very sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis, but I trust the research out of OHSU way more than I trust the "research" of a single cancer patient, no matter how miraculous they claim the cure they found is.

I am 100,000,000,000,000% going to continue with my chemotherapy; It works. No one can give me certainty that I won't ever get cancer again after I beat this, but since it's my life that's on the life, I'll go where the best odds are."

She responded:
"I understand and respect your choice. I meant no offense and I hope you heal soon. It sounds like you have a great support team of family and friends!"

The thing is, though, I am 100% not convinced that she "understands and respects" my choice because she decided to advocate for me stopping chemotherapy and doing some quack treatment after I posted an article about how "alternative" medicine kills cancer patients and explicitly stated that I'm going the evidence-based route for treatment.

So the question is:

Do I unfriend her now and ignore her response?
    OR
Do I respond that I think she's disrespecting my choices and then unfriend her?

PS I opened facebook this morning with the intention of simply unfriending her until I saw her response.

I get that this must be such a sensitive thing for you considering what you are going through. Sad

I agree with you about sticking with the chemo.

For me personally, I don't see a reason to unfriend her over this. It sounds like she was genuinely trying to help in the same way that she believes her mother was helped. Her response back to you was respectful, even if you dont believe her. I guess it's impossible to know whether she is telling the truth about respecting your decision, but she said all the right things and backed off. Personally I don't think an unfriending is warranted, just mho, but do what feels right for you. <3
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly." 

-walsh
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#10
RE: To vent or not to vent, that is the question...
FWIW, when I was a hospice volunteer during the worst of the AIDS Crisis (before the anti-viral cocktails mid 90s) I was exposed to all manner of treatment rostrums, dubious palliatives and absurd protocols.

I took it all in stride, as long as something wasn't directly harmful* it didn't matter since there was precious little in the formulary that did actually work.

Additionally, I knew someone in an experimental treatment study for Betaseron. I studied the materials and science on it (and seemingly saw with my own eyes that it 'worked') and I was even provoked to tears when 'C' let me hold a vial of it since I considered it The Cure at the time, and nevertheless, taken as a whole, the study's results definitively indicated it was NOT a treatment for HIV. It cuts both ways, it turns out.


*I was prepared if someone wanted to take something harmful and was aware of it, that it might be intended as something other than a treatment. At that point my concern would have changed to insuring it was 'adequate' for it's purpose.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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