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I’m not the type to publicly put up a story complaining (unless its a brief sentence), but since there are overtones in religion in this, I felt it may be worth mentioning, and may help explain to some people PMing me a why I may not respond for a little bit. I may be on and off here for a few days to a week, but here it goes.
I’ve been having problems with my dad most of my life (he can’t get along with anyone that he’s close to). I’ve basically been bullied, along with my family into keeping my mouth shut, unless I wanted a huge fight with repercussions with this ‘person’.
He is a total narcissist, and always gets his way with practically everything, and if he doesn’t, you’ll never hear the end of it. He’s always whining, always complaining, always being negative, and isn’t happy unless he’s in a fight with someone, he’s never wrong, and he knows everything, and if it’s not his radical way of thinking, he’s going to want to have a problem with you. When I was younger, he loved to tell embarrassing things about me to other people that we were just meeting. And, his hypocrisy is through the roof, especially with our last fight. There’s a million examples of that too, like the forgive and forget one, that he loves to say, but feels the need to bring up things people have apologized for in the past over and over again decades ago. I can write for days on end about him, but I’ll just leave it at that for now. I felt I’ve been living at my last straw for about 7-8 years now, and don’t know how I made it through this much of my life. I feel the only reason I’m alive is the crazy amount of love I have for the closest 3 people in my life, and that I know they have for me.
We’ve had many of these fights where he talks 99.9% of the time, and just vents on how hard he has it, although he hasn’t worked in I don’t know how many years, and has practically nothing to be angry at. He should be insanely grateful to his wife, that she didn’t just pack up and leave him. In these recurring fights, he’s known for years how nervous he’s made me, and how many panic attacks and ulcerative colitis flare-ups he’s given me, but still seems to be all over me. There’s many things that he wants to fight about, but won’t drop THE FUCKING RELIGION FAIRY TALE BULLSHIT! After making it kindly known that I don’t believe in it, he still insists I’m the reason why the house has fallen apart (although it was like that when we were all going to church and devout), and that there are problems in it all the time. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, I packed up a duffel bag in 20 minutes on Sunday, and my grandma picked me up, and now I’m at her house recovering. I’m starting to having a mild flare-up because of him, and my heart rate still hasn’t fully gone down.
I’ve been completely ignoring his, “Let’s just move on, and forget what happened” texts the past few days. I know by now that he’s never going to change, and when I feel a little better I’m desperately going to try to get out of the city and get a job I’m capable of doing. It’s hard because I have back and knee issues, and I’m in therapy for them now as well, and can’t really do labor or stand all day. I also feel sick nearly all the time in this city, because of allergies (which most people think is a joke, but not in my case exactly), so that’s why I feel I need to leave these desert cities with an amazing amount of dust, dirt, and pollen. I felt like I was a new person closer to the beach.
I’m a kind and laid-back person, despite how I may be perceived at times. I may not have been on here, if I didn’t see firsthand what religion is capable of doing. It drives me nuts how people’s beliefs become their identity, and how it becomes the most important thing in their lives. If you’re lying, dodging, or completely full of shit on here, I’m going to call you out, (or I’ll let someone else do it, there’s plenty ready to correct your lying asses) although nothing needs to be said to most of the people on here, you guys have been great. My dad cares more about me believing in what he believes, than me as a person, whether he realizes it or not.. I just can’t take it anymore, and don’t have plans to ever move back in under his roof for any extended period of time. I can’t entirely blame this on religion, because that’s how he is as a person (but didn’t seem to be this type of person until he became “devout” and politically involved about 15 years ago), but see what religion can do? See how evil it can be, and how it can cause people to think? From the millions and millions of these daily experiences, to people killing themselves because they're gay and can't cope with living with people that aren't in reality, all the way to terrorism. Religion, unless kept to oneself, WILL BE detrimental to someone in your life. Thanks for listening and your help. I don’t want to complain, but I feel the need to get some of this off of my chest.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'-Isaac Asimov-
August 25, 2015 at 5:13 pm (This post was last modified: August 25, 2015 at 8:33 pm by SteelCurtain.)
(August 25, 2015 at 4:52 pm)Salacious B. Crumb Wrote: I’m not the type to publicly put up a story complaining (unless its a brief sentence), but since there are overtones in religion in this, I felt it may be worth mentioning, and may help explain to some people PMing me a why I may not respond for a little bit. I may be on and off here for a few days to a week, but here it goes.
I’ve been having problems with my dad most of my life (he can’t get along with anyone that he’s close to). I’ve basically been bullied, along with my family into keeping my mouth shut, unless I wanted a huge fight with repercussions with this ‘person’.
He is a total narcissist, and always gets his way with practically everything, and if he doesn’t, you’ll never hear the end of it. He’s always whining, always complaining, always being negative, and isn’t happy unless he’s in a fight with someone, he’s never wrong, and he knows everything, and if it’s not his radical way of thinking, he’s going to want to have a problem with you. When I was younger, he loved to tell embarrassing things about me to other people that we were just meeting. And, his hypocrisy is through the roof, especially with our last fight. There’s a million examples of that too, like the forgive and forget one, that he loves to say, but feels the need to bring up things people have apologized for in the past over and over again decades ago. I can write for days on end about him, but I’ll just leave it at that for now. I felt I’ve been living at my last straw for about 7-8 years now, and don’t know how I made it through this much of my life. I feel the only reason I’m alive is the crazy amount of love I have for the closest 3 people in my life, and that I know they have for me.
We’ve had many of these fights where he talks 99.9% of the time, and just vents on how hard he has it, although he hasn’t worked in I don’t know how many years, and has practically nothing to be angry at. He should be insanely grateful to his wife, that she didn’t just pack up and leave him. In these recurring fights, he’s known for years how nervous he’s made me, and how many panic attacks and ulcerative colitis flare-ups he’s given me, but still seems to be all over me. There’s many things that he wants to fight about, but won’t drop THE FUCKING RELIGION FAIRY TALE BULLSHIT! After making it kindly known that I don’t believe in it, he still insists I’m the reason why the house has fallen apart (although it was like that when we were all going to church and devout), and that there are problems in it all the time. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, I packed up a duffel bag in 20 minutes on Sunday, and my grandma picked me up, and now I’m at her house recovering. I’m starting to having a mild flare-up because of him, and my heart rate still hasn’t fully gone down.
I’ve been completely ignoring his, “Let’s just move on, and forget what happened” texts the past few days. I know by now that he’s never going to change, and when I feel a little better I’m desperately going to try to get out of the city and get a job I’m capable of doing. It’s hard because I have back and knee issues, and I’m in therapy for them now as well, and can’t really do labor or stand all day. I also feel sick nearly all the time in this city, because of allergies (which most people think is a joke, but not in my case exactly), so that’s why I feel I need to leave these desert cities with an amazing amount of dust, dirt, and pollen. I felt like I was a new person closer to the beach.
I’m a kind and laid-back person, despite how I may be perceived at times. I may not have been on here, if I didn’t see firsthand what religion is capable of doing. It drives me nuts how people’s beliefs become their identity, and how it becomes the most important thing in their lives. If you’re lying, dodging, or completely full of shit on here, I’m going to call you out, (or I’ll let someone else do it, there’s plenty ready to correct your lying asses) although nothing needs to be said to most of the people on here, you guys have been great. My dad cares more about me believing in what he believes, than me as a person, whether he realizes it or not.. I just can’t take it anymore, and don’t have plans to ever move back in under his roof for any extended period of time. I can’t entirely blame this on religion, because that’s how he is as a person (but didn’t seem to be this type of person until he became “devout” and politically involved about 15 years ago), but see what religion can do? See how evil it can be, and how it can cause people to think? From the millions and millions of these daily experiences, to people killing themselves because they're gay and can't cope with living with people that aren't in reality, all the way to terrorism. Religion, unless kept to oneself, WILL BE detrimental to someone in your life. Thanks for listening and your help. I don’t want to complain, but I feel the need to get some of this off of my chest.
Kudos to your grandmother. My problems with my father had to do with lack of communication and quiet and are nothing compared to yours. My ex-husband had a daddy like yours. There really is no solution except to be somewhere else and not dependent on him. If your grandmother will provide that you are very very lucky in her. And you are right not to see your dad's problem as religious. He's make an asshole atheist too, I promise. Stay in touch with him, but out of grabbing range if you can manage it.
Do you have siblings left at home?
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
If you got the opportunity then get while the gettin is good. Glad you have Gram's for support. Let the important people in your life know whats goin on. You may be surprised where additional support will show up.
Not to cast any aspersions but it sounds like pops has more problems than narcissism.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
(August 25, 2015 at 4:52 pm)Salacious B. Crumb Wrote: I’m not the type to publicly put up a story complaining (unless its a brief sentence), but since there are overtones in religion in this, I felt it may be worth mentioning, and may help explain to some people PMing me a why I may not respond for a little bit. I may be on and off here for a few days to a week, but here it goes. [hide]
I’ve been having problems with my dad most of my life (he can’t get along with anyone that he’s close to). I’ve basically been bullied, along with my family into keeping my mouth shut, unless I wanted a huge fight with repercussions with this ‘person’.
He is a total narcissist, and always gets his way with practically everything, and if he doesn’t, you’ll never hear the end of it. He’s always whining, always complaining, always being negative, and isn’t happy unless he’s in a fight with someone, he’s never wrong, and he knows everything, and if it’s not his radical way of thinking, he’s going to want to have a problem with you. When I was younger, he loved to tell embarrassing things about me to other people that we were just meeting. And, his hypocrisy is through the roof, especially with our last fight. There’s a million examples of that too, like the forgive and forget one, that he loves to say, but feels the need to bring up things people have apologized for in the past over and over again decades ago. I can write for days on end about him, but I’ll just leave it at that for now. I felt I’ve been living at my last straw for about 7-8 years now, and don’t know how I made it through this much of my life. I feel the only reason I’m alive is the crazy amount of love I have for the closest 3 people in my life, and that I know they have for me.
We’ve had many of these fights where he talks 99.9% of the time, and just vents on how hard he has it, although he hasn’t worked in I don’t know how many years, and has practically nothing to be angry at. He should be insanely grateful to his wife, that she didn’t just pack up and leave him. In these recurring fights, he’s known for years how nervous he’s made me, and how many panic attacks and ulcerative colitis flare-ups he’s given me, but still seems to be all over me. There’s many things that he wants to fight about, but won’t drop THE FUCKING RELIGION FAIRY TALE BULLSHIT! After making it kindly known that I don’t believe in it, he still insists I’m the reason why the house has fallen apart (although it was like that when we were all going to church and devout), and that there are problems in it all the time. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, I packed up a duffel bag in 20 minutes on Sunday, and my grandma picked me up, and now I’m at her house recovering. I’m starting to having a mild flare-up because of him, and my heart rate still hasn’t fully gone down.
I’ve been completely ignoring his, “Let’s just move on, and forget what happened” texts the past few days. I know by now that he’s never going to change, and when I feel a little better I’m desperately going to try to get out of the city and get a job I’m capable of doing. It’s hard because I have back and knee issues, and I’m in therapy for them now as well, and can’t really do labor or stand all day. I also feel sick nearly all the time in this city, because of allergies (which most people think is a joke, but not in my case exactly), so that’s why I feel I need to leave these desert cities with an amazing amount of dust, dirt, and pollen. I felt like I was a new person closer to the beach.
I’m a kind and laid-back person, despite how I may be perceived at times. I may not have been on here, if I didn’t see firsthand what religion is capable of doing. It drives me nuts how people’s beliefs become their identity, and how it becomes the most important thing in their lives. If you’re lying, dodging, or completely full of shit on here, I’m going to call you out, (or I’ll let someone else do it, there’s plenty ready to correct your lying asses) although nothing needs to be said to most of the people on here, you guys have been great. My dad cares more about me believing in what he believes, than me as a person, whether he realizes it or not.. I just can’t take it anymore, and don’t have plans to ever move back in under his roof for any extended period of time. I can’t entirely blame this on religion, because that’s how he is as a person (but didn’t seem to be this type of person until he became “devout” and politically involved about 15 years ago), but see what religion can do? See how evil it can be, and how it can cause people to think? From the millions and millions of these daily experiences, to people killing themselves because they're gay and can't cope with living with people that aren't in reality, all the way to terrorism. Religion, unless kept to oneself, WILL BE detrimental to someone in your life. Thanks for listening and your help. I don’t want to complain, but I feel the need to get some of this off of my chest.[/hide/]
Kudos to your grandmother. My problems with my father had to do with lack of communication and quiet and are nothing compared to yours. My ex-husband had a daddy like yours. There really is no solution except to be somewhere else and not dependent on him. If your grandmother will provide that you are very very lucky in her. And you are right not to see your dad's problem as religious. He's make an asshole atheist too, I promise. Stay in touch with him, but out of grabbing range if you can manage it.
Do you have siblings left at home?
Yes, big time kudos to her, she is amazing! You’re right, there is no fixing him. He doesn’t listen, he only cares what he has to say, and is offended if someone else in the room is talking for more than a minute or two, no joke!
He would make an asshole of an atheist as well, but in my experience, it seemed the religion and politics starting making him more of a radical person in general. It got worse and worse by the month, and at some point he definitely picked up Narcissistic Personality Disorder. There’s no doubt in my mind he has something like that, but what can I do? He can’t be reasoned with, even kindly suggesting something to help him with something offends the shit out of him.
I think what you suggest would make sense for the most part, but now, there’s no way I can stay in touch with him, it would end up in him flipping out at me, and I don’t need the stress. He also needs to understand that I’m an adult, which in his eyes, he sees me as probably 14 still, but I’m double that. He needs to know that he doesn’t have control over me anymore, and that I’m done trying to please him (which is an impossible task), and pussyfooting around him, and the only way I can do that is if I don’t live with him. If I told him like it is around the house all the time, even in a calm manner, he would flip the fuck out.. so for now.. I’m going to keep my distance and display to him that I am my own person that does just fine without him.
Yes, I have an amazing brother, and he desperately wants out of the house too.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'-Isaac Asimov-
(August 25, 2015 at 5:25 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: So sorry to hear about an asshole dad, Sal. My dad was a total asshole too, but in different ways.
I wonder how much better your general health would be if you moved... from Vegas? Yeah- my allergies always kill me when I'm there.
You can come to Carlsbad (Coastal North San Diego County), if you'd like to visit. If you like the beach, you'd love it here!
Thanks Becca. I’ve vacationed in SD, with the family, practically every time in the summer from when I was a little kid until about high school. I definitely enjoyed my time in SD, who knows, maybe I’ll see you there some day It’s not a far drive. Hope everything is starting to work out for you there, or will sooner rather than later. Sorry to hear about the asshole dad.. I know I’m not the only one out there, and I know there’s people out there that have it worse than me, I’m going to make it work somehow! I will!
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'-Isaac Asimov-
August 25, 2015 at 7:16 pm (This post was last modified: August 25, 2015 at 7:18 pm by Salacious B. Crumb.)
(August 25, 2015 at 5:38 pm)Neimenovic Wrote: Oh Sal.... I'm so sorry. That's awful
Is there any possible way you could get away from him? Are you dependent on him?
Have a hug
Hug Hug Vic I’ve been away from him for a few days. I’ve gotten away from him a few times temporarily, and even a few months when I visited family in another state, and that still didn’t change him. I’ve had this huge blowout a few times with him over the past month and a half, and he promised he wouldn’t bring up the religion to me anymore, but yet again he did (although it’s not only that). I told him that I’d have to leave the house two weeks ago, if he didn’t change his behavior, and he couldn’t help himself.. I left. I just told him I lost so much respect for him for placing his beliefs over his own son, who has been so loyal, obedient, and loving towards him, even when he didn’t deserve it (didn’t say that last part), on top of many other things.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'-Isaac Asimov-
Thanks for the smile. I appreciate it. Now, I feel evil for liking that Salacious haha. It's just every time I'd be watching that movie, they'd be on a serious mission, and that laugh would just make me laugh out of nowhere, but in that compilation he is creepy lol.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'-Isaac Asimov-
![[Image: Coronado-Beach-San-Diego.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=bandbguildsandiego.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FCoronado-Beach-San-Diego.jpg)
It’s not a far drive. Hope everything is starting to work out for you there, or will sooner rather than later. Sorry to hear about the asshole dad.. I know I’m not the only one out there, and I know there’s people out there that have it worse than me, I’m going to make it work somehow! I will!
