To vent or not to vent, that is the question...

[Clueless Morgan]

First, I appreciate everyone's opinions

I couldn't find the doctor or the cam medication. 

There is a medication for cll called Gazyva that is allopathic/science-evidence based. Is this person just confused?: https://www.gazyva.com/

Wouldn't surprise me, she's not the brightest bulb in the package.

My suggestion, don't unfriend but educate. You may be saving her life down the road.

It's her mother who has lukemia as I understand.

I wouldn't unfriend, myself, if she is a friend irl. I guess it depends on how sensitive you might be to difference of opinion between friends.

I literally haven't seen her since we graduated high school so unfriending her wouldn't be considered a loss on my part.

Venting, though, that's useful. Do so here, or start a journal if you don't already keep one.

I suppose this post must have been sufficient in expressing my frustration because I've been working all morning and haven't given her a second thought until I remembered that I asked for opinions on this.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I wouldn't unfriend, myself, if she is a friend irl. I guess it depends on how sensitive you might be to difference of opinion between friends.

I literally haven't seen her since we graduated high school so unfriending her wouldn't be considered a loss on my part.

No big loss, then.

[Godscreated]

I agree with CL, I believe she thought enough of you to give you something else to look at, and can one afford to unfriend someone who seems to care. I know you must be stressed over your illness but step back and look hard at everything during this time to make sure your nerves aren't influencing decisions you might regret after you recover. I'm not speaking of medical decisions, those should be between you and your doctors and personally I think you're making the correct medical decision.

GC

[J a c k]

I think your friend didn't bother to read the article. I think she just saw what it was about and felt she had better input. But! I think she meant well. Sometimes we're foolish like that. We do things out of our hearts, but we don't think them through. While she didn't respectfully read the article first, she tried to be very respectful in her response. I guess I'm saying that she meant well even though her actions were off.

[The Valkyrie]

I think your friend didn't bother to read the article. I think she just saw what it was about and felt she had better input. But! I think she meant well. Sometimes we're foolish like that. We do things out of our hearts, but we don't think them through. While she didn't respectfully read the article first, she tried to be very respectful in her response. I guess I'm saying that she meant well even though her actions were off.

I agree with Jack, CL, and others on this.

I think she was showing concern in her initial response and was sincere when she said she wasn't being disrespectful.

If she had been she would have continued to push.  She didn't.

[brewer]

First, I appreciate everyone's opinions

My suggestion, don't unfriend but educate. You may be saving her life down the road.

It's her mother who has lukemia as I understand.

OK, but think down the road. Will she have this mind set when she gets cancer? (not that I'm wishing cancer on anyone)

[Seraphina]

Your friend's post didn't seem malicious although what she said wasn't particularly helpful to you, either. I'm a big believer in choosing your battles and, frankly, it's up to you in the end whether to unfriend her. As Facebook reminds you when you click "unfriend", it can't be undone.
Something I've done in similar situations is "unfollow" or customize posts so a particular person can't see my posts. Maybe try that and if you decide later that her Facebook friendship isn't worth it, then hit "unfriend".

-Teresa

[ignoramus]

What's the bet that when you recover it'll be "because I prayed for you!" ...

[Clueless Morgan]

What's the bet that when you recover it'll be "because I prayed for you!" ...

I honestly couldn't tell you how many "I'm praying for yous" I've gotten. That's a battle not worth fighting.

I've dropped the thread on fb.

Thanks again for the opinions everyone

[Astonished]

The other day I posted the article below:

Alternative medicine kills cancer patients
https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/alterna...-patients/

With the comment of "Science-based, evidence-based medicine for me, thanks!"

The same day, a girl I've known my whole educational life (we went to every school together K-12) posted this:

"I didn't want to intervene but my mom was diagnosed with cll leukemia about three years ago and she did some research. Please look into seeing Dr. Charmin in Springfield he's a cutting edge doctor with a new treatment called goziva. He tells his patients to avoid chemo at all costs because it often causes the cancer to come back worse years later after remission. Please look into getting this treatment if possible."

[Note that I did google this doctor to check how quacking he was and she spelled his name wrong]

To this, I responded:

"I appreciate that you're heart is in the right place and I'm very sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis, but I trust the research out of OHSU way more than I trust the "research" of a single cancer patient, no matter how miraculous they claim the cure they found is.

I am 100,000,000,000,000% going to continue with my chemotherapy; It works. No one can give me certainty that I won't ever get cancer again after I beat this, but since it's my life that's on the life, I'll go where the best odds are."

She responded:
"I understand and respect your choice. I meant no offense and I hope you heal soon. It sounds like you have a great support team of family and friends!"

The thing is, though, I am 100% not convinced that she "understands and respects" my choice because she decided to advocate for me stopping chemotherapy and doing some quack treatment after I posted an article about how "alternative" medicine kills cancer patients and explicitly stated that I'm going the evidence-based route for treatment.

So the question is:

Do I unfriend her now and ignore her response?
    OR
Do I respond that I think she's disrespecting my choices and then unfriend her?

PS I opened facebook this morning with the intention of simply unfriending her until I saw her response.

A couple of other options, actually, would probably be better.

You could point out how rampant quackery is and how easily people in desperate situations are preyed upon by the unscrupulous who are looking to turn a profit on others' pain, misery, and deaths. If this experimental treatment is affordable and accessible to many, that's proof it doesn't work, it just means the charlatans behind it are counting on lots of business that won't live long enough to come after them and make a decent profit on volume, not large returns from a smaller number of consumers.

You could also ask them a sincere question. How would they feel if they were solely responsible for directing someone to such a snake oil salesman, and that person thanked them for being the primary influence on them going that route so that there is no doubt that they were chiefly involved, and then that person dying because it didn't work? They would literally have committed murder or manslaughter at least. Could they live with themselves for doing something like that, best intentions in the world or not?